21 Reasons You Get Blocked By A Narcissist

Last updated on March 7th, 2025 at 08:29 am

Ever wondered why narcissists block people? It’s not just about cutting ties; it’s a whole mix of reasons that can be quite intricate and multifaceted. Sometimes it’s about control, asserting dominance over their relationships, while other times it’s a reaction to feeling threatened or vulnerable in some way.

Understanding why they do it can help you make sense of the chaos they often leave behind, providing clarity in a confusing situation.

Whether it’s about boosting their ego, seeking validation, or trying to manipulate your emotions for their own benefit, the reasons can be as varied as they are complex and deeply rooted in their psychological makeup.

Let’s dive into the 21 reasons why narcissists might block you and what it all means, exploring the underlying motivations and implications of their actions.

Discover 21 reasons you get blocked by a narcissist and how to recognize the patterns of their behavior. Learn to navigate relationships with insight and clarity.

Key Takeaways

• Blocking and unblocking a narcissist is often about control and power dynamics.
• They might block you to make a statement or to manipulate your emotions.
• Expect them to react in unpredictable ways, from angry outbursts to silent treatment.
• Blocking can sometimes inflate their ego, making them feel powerful.
• Understanding their motives can help you deal with the aftermath more effectively.

1. Personal Attack

When dealing with a narcissist, personal attacks can feel like a punch to the gut. These attacks often come out of nowhere and can leave you questioning your own self-worth. Narcissists are known for their ability to strike where it hurts the most, often using personal information you’ve shared with them against you.

This behavior stems from their Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), which can lead them to develop hatred towards others, as detailed in this discussion.

Why Narcissists Resort to Personal Attacks

1. Defense Mechanism: Personal attacks are often a way for narcissists to defend themselves. When they feel threatened or criticized, they lash out to protect their fragile ego.
2. Control and Manipulation: By attacking you personally, they aim to manipulate your emotions and maintain control over the situation.
3. Projection: Narcissists often project their own insecurities onto others. They might accuse you of having the very flaws they possess.

2. Temper Tantrum

When a narcissist feels blocked or ignored, they often react like a child having a meltdown. Why? Because it shatters their illusion of control. They might lash out with anger, hurl insults, or even resort to threats. It’s like a toddler’s tantrum, but in an adult’s body.

Here are some typical behaviors you might notice:

• Explosive Reactions: Expect yelling or harsh words. Narcissists can’t handle feeling powerless, so they explode.
• Manipulative Tactics: They might try to guilt-trip you, making you feel like the bad guy.
• Persistent Contact: They could bombard you with messages or even show up unannounced.

Blocking a narcissist can trigger these intense reactions. It’s crucial to stay firm and not engage. Remember, blocking a narcissist is a step towards reclaiming your peace and protecting your mental health. Their tantrums are just a reflection of their inability to cope with losing control.

3. Confusion

Narcissists often leave people baffled, especially when they block someone out of the blue. They thrive on unpredictability, which can leave those around them feeling disoriented. Here’s why confusion plays a role:

1. Mixed Signals: Narcissists are notorious for sending mixed messages. One moment they shower you with attention, and the next, they cut you off completely. This erratic behavior can make it hard to understand what they truly feel or want.
2. Lack of Closure: When a narcissist blocks you, it often comes without warning or explanation. This sudden silence can be deeply unsettling, leaving you searching for answers that might never come. Moving on from a narcissist can be particularly challenging without closure.
3. Projection of Confusion: They might project their own internal confusion onto you. By blocking you, they avoid dealing with their own chaotic emotions and instead make you feel like the confused one.
4. Self-Protection: Sometimes, narcissists block others as a way to protect their own self-image. If they feel their facade is threatened, they might cut ties abruptly to maintain control over how they are perceived.
5. Manipulation Tool: Blocking can be a manipulation tactic. By creating confusion, they keep you guessing and trying to figure out what went wrong, which can keep you emotionally tethered to them.

4. Relationship Downplay

Narcissists have a knack for making the relationship seem less significant than it actually is. They might tell others that you were merely an acquaintance, even if you were close. This tactic helps them avoid dealing with their genuine feelings about the situation. They might say things like they were only your friend out of pity or deny any closeness altogether. This dismissive behavior gives them a sense of superiority and control.

Here’s how they often downplay relationships:

• Denial of Importance: They’ll claim you were never that important to them, brushing off the relationship as trivial.
• Rewriting History: They’ll change the narrative, making it seem like they were never invested.
• Public Dismissal: Telling mutual friends that the relationship was never serious.

5. Temporary Change

Narcissists are known for their ability to adapt their behavior temporarily to suit their needs, especially when they feel threatened by the loss of attention or admiration. This temporary change is often a tactic to lure someone back into their sphere of influence. But don’t be fooled; these changes are rarely permanent.

Imagine a narcissist who suddenly becomes attentive and caring, showering you with compliments and gifts. This shift can be enticing, making you question whether your previous judgments were too harsh.

Here’s what often happens:

• They might suddenly act more considerate or apologize for past behaviors, creating a facade of change.
• Once they feel secure in the relationship again, the old patterns of manipulation and neglect often resurface.
• Their temporary transformation is a strategy to avoid losing their source of validation.

6. Accusations of Abuse

Narcissists often twist narratives to suit their needs, and one way they do this is by accusing others of abuse. This tactic can be incredibly damaging and confusing, especially when you’re on the receiving end. It’s a form of manipulation that serves to deflect attention from their own behavior and make you question your actions.

Why Do Narcissists Make These Accusations?

1. Projection: Narcissists often project their own behaviors onto others. If they’re being abusive, they might accuse you of the same to distract from their actions.
2. Control: By accusing you of abuse, they can gain control over the narrative and manipulate how others see you.
3. Victim Role: Narcissists love to play the victim. Accusing you of abuse allows them to garner sympathy and support from others.

Impact on Victims

• Confusion and Self-Doubt: Being accused of something you’re not guilty of can make you doubt your own reality.
• Isolation: These accusations can isolate you from friends and family who might believe the narcissist’s version of events.
• Emotional Turmoil: The stress of defending yourself against false accusations can take a significant emotional toll.

7. Spreading Rumors

Narcissists are notorious for their ability to twist the truth and spread false stories. They often resort to rumor-mongering to control the narrative and maintain their image. This tactic can be particularly damaging because it not only affects the person being targeted but also the perceptions of those around them.

One reason narcissists spread rumors is to play the victim. By painting themselves as the wronged party, they can garner sympathy and support from others. This often involves sharing exaggerated or completely fabricated tales about how they were mistreated. For example, if you cut ties with a narcissist due to their dishonesty, they might tell others you were the one lying.

Another motive is to isolate the victim. By turning mutual friends or family against you, a narcissist can effectively cut off your support network. This tactic, known as coalition building, can leave you feeling alone and vulnerable.

Additionally, spreading rumors can be a form of revenge. If a narcissist feels slighted or rejected, they might retaliate by tarnishing your reputation.

8. Coalition Building

Coalition building is a tactic often used by narcissists to strengthen their position by rallying others to their side. This strategy involves convincing mutual friends or acquaintances to align with them, often by spreading misinformation or twisting the truth. The goal is to create a network of support that isolates the target, making them feel outnumbered and unsupported.

How It Works

1. Smear Campaigns: Narcissists may start by spreading rumors or lies about you, aiming to tarnish your reputation. This is done behind your back, often in subtle ways that are hard to trace.
2. Playing the Victim: By portraying themselves as the victim in the situation, they gain sympathy from others. This tactic can be particularly effective, as people are generally inclined to support someone they see as wronged.
3. Triangulation: This involves pitting people against each other or bringing a third party into conflicts to manipulate the dynamics in their favor.

Why They Do It

• Control and Power: By building a coalition, narcissists can exert control over the social dynamics, ensuring they remain at the center of attention.
• Avoiding Accountability: With a group backing them, they can deflect blame and avoid facing the consequences of their actions.
• Revenge: If they feel slighted or rejected, forming a coalition can be a way to retaliate by isolating the perceived offender.

9. Revenge Attempts

When dealing with a narcissist, revenge can be a common reaction, particularly if they feel slighted or exposed. Narcissists often seek revenge as a way to regain control or power in a situation where they feel they’ve lost it. Their actions are usually driven by personal feelings rather than any objective reality, which makes understanding their motivations crucial for anyone involved with them.

What Revenge Looks Like

• Workplace Sabotage: If you work with them and have a disagreement, they might lodge false complaints against you or try to undermine your position.
• Social Smear Campaigns: They might spread rumors or misinformation about you to mutual friends or on social media to damage your reputation.
• Legal Threats: In extreme cases, they might threaten legal action or file lawsuits based on fabricated claims.

Narcissists thrive on drama and conflict, and revenge gives them a way to lash out without having to confront their own insecurities. They might try to manipulate others to see you as the villain, which can be incredibly isolating. Narcissists can manage their abusive tendencies when they feel threatened or afraid, such as in the presence of authority figures like police.

10. Negotiation Tactics

Narcissists often employ negotiation tactics that can be both subtle and overt. These tactics are not about reaching a fair compromise but are more about maintaining control and power over the situation.

1. Feigning Desperation: When a narcissist feels they’re losing their grip on you, they might suddenly become desperate. This desperation is often just a ploy to keep you engaged. They may promise to change or offer gifts, but these are typically empty promises meant to manipulate your emotions.
2. Gaslighting: This is a favorite tool in their negotiation arsenal. By distorting facts or denying past events, they aim to make you doubt your own perceptions. This can leave you feeling confused and more likely to concede to their demands.
3. Emotional Blackmail: Narcissists might use emotional manipulation to get what they want. They could threaten to harm themselves or withdraw affection to force you into compliance.
4. Shifting Blame: In negotiations, they’ll often turn the tables, making you feel responsible for their actions. This tactic is designed to make you apologize or give in to their terms.
5. Playing the Victim: By portraying themselves as the wronged party, narcissists can elicit sympathy and manipulate you into feeling guilty, thus gaining the upper hand in negotiations.

11. Lack of Apology

Narcissists are notorious for never saying sorry. It’s not just that they don’t like to admit they’re wrong; they genuinely believe they aren’t. Apologizing undermines their self-image and makes them feel weak. Here’s why they might block you instead of saying sorry:

• Preserving Ego: Narcissists have a fragile sense of self. Admitting fault threatens their self-esteem, so they avoid it at all costs.
• Power Dynamics: By not apologizing, they maintain control over the situation. It keeps them in the driver’s seat, dictating the terms of your interaction.
• Emotional Manipulation: They might use the lack of apology to manipulate your emotions, making you feel guilty or responsible for the conflict.

12. Ego Boost

Narcissists often block people as a way to boost their own ego. Blocking someone gives them a sense of power and control, reinforcing their self-importance. It’s not just about cutting ties; it’s about making a statement that they are the ones in charge.

Here’s how blocking can serve as an ego boost for a narcissist:

1. Attention Seeking: By blocking you, the narcissist ensures that they remain the center of attention. They want you to notice their absence and wonder about the reasons behind their actions.
2. Validation of Superiority: Blocking can be a way for them to feel superior. They decide who stays and who goes in their social circle, reinforcing their belief in their own importance.
3. Manipulation Tactic: This act can also be a manipulative move to make you chase after them, seeking their approval or trying to mend the relationship.

13. Emotional Manipulation

Narcissists are masters of emotional manipulation, using various tactics to control and dominate their targets. Emotional manipulation is not just a tool for them; it’s a way of life. They thrive on the confusion and dependency they create in others.

Common Manipulative Tactics

• Gaslighting: This is when they mess with your perception of reality. They deny things they said or did, making you question your memory and sanity. It’s a sneaky way to make you doubt yourself.
• Playing the Victim: Narcissists often flip the script, acting as if they’re the ones who are wronged. They might say things like, “I can’t believe you would do this to me,” even when they’re clearly in the wrong.
• Love Bombing: At the start, they might shower you with affection and compliments, creating an intense bond. But this is often a setup to make you dependent on their approval.

Why They Do It

• Control: Emotional manipulation is all about maintaining control over others. By keeping you off-balance, they ensure you stay within their influence.
• Ego Boost: Manipulating others feeds their ego. Seeing you bend to their will gives them a sense of power and importance.
• Avoidance of Responsibility: By twisting situations, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions. It’s always someone else’s fault, never theirs.

Recognizing the Signs

• Constant Self-Doubt: If you’re always second-guessing yourself, wondering if you’re overreacting, you might be under a narcissist’s spell.
• Feeling Guilty: They have a knack for making you feel guilty for things that aren’t your fault. This guilt keeps you in line and easier to control.
• Isolation: They might turn you against friends and family, leaving you isolated and more reliant on them.

14. Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a sneaky tactic often used by narcissists to mess with your head. Imagine someone constantly telling you that what you saw or heard didn’t actually happen. It’s like they’re trying to rewrite history, and before you know it, you’re questioning your own memory. This constant denial can really mess with your sense of reality.

What Gaslighting Looks Like

• You remember your friend saying something hurtful, but when you bring it up, they act like you’re making it up.
• Your partner insists you agreed to something you know you never did.
• A colleague at work tells you an event happened differently than you recall, making you doubt your memory.

Gaslighting is more than just lying; it’s a way to manipulate and control. Narcissists might use this tactic to avoid getting caught or to make you feel like you’re losing your grip on reality. It’s crucial to recognize these signs to protect your mental well-being.

15. Silent Treatment

The silent treatment is a classic move often used to control or punish someone. It can feel like you’re suddenly invisible, as if your existence is being ignored. This tactic is not just about not talking; it’s about creating a power dynamic where one person feels superior.

Why Do They Do It?

• Control: By withholding communication, the person giving the silent treatment holds power. They decide when and if the situation will be resolved.
• Manipulation: It’s a way to make you feel guilty or anxious, hoping you’ll conform to their expectations.
• Avoidance: Sometimes, it’s a way to dodge uncomfortable conversations or conflicts.

How It Affects You

The impact of the silent treatment can be profound. It can make you question your self-worth and feel isolated. Here are a few effects:

1. Emotional Turmoil: The lack of communication can lead to stress and anxiety.
2. Self-Doubt: You might start questioning what you did wrong, even if you did nothing.
3. Isolation: It can make you feel cut off from the person, leaving you lonely.

16. Projection

Projection is a psychological tactic often used by narcissists to deflect blame and avoid accountability. Narcissists frequently accuse others of the very behaviors they themselves are guilty of. This can leave you feeling confused and doubting your own perceptions.

In relationships, this can manifest in several ways:

• They might accuse you of being selfish or manipulative when, in reality, these are traits they exhibit.
• If you confront them about lying, they may turn the tables and insist that you’re the one who is dishonest.
• During arguments, they might claim you’re overreacting or being too sensitive, when they’re the ones who are actually escalating the situation.

This behavior is not just frustrating; it can be emotionally draining. Recognizing this pattern is crucial for maintaining your own mental health and setting boundaries. Understanding narcissistic projection can help you navigate these tricky interactions.

17. Victim Mentality

Narcissists have a knack for flipping the script, turning themselves into the victim in any situation. This tactic can leave you feeling confused and questioning your own actions. Why do they do this? It’s simple: playing the victim often garners sympathy and deflects blame. They might say things like, “Everyone’s always against me,” or “No one understands what I go through.” This way, they shift the focus away from their behavior and onto their supposed suffering.

Recognizing the Pattern

1. Constant Misfortune: They always seem to have a new crisis or drama, expecting you to offer support and understanding.
2. Blame Game: Any conflict is somehow your fault, and they are just the poor soul caught in the crossfire.
3. Emotional Manipulation: By acting hurt or wronged, they guilt you into compliance or forgiveness.

Why It Works

• Empathy Exploitation: They know that empathetic people are more likely to offer help or overlook their faults.
• Attention Seeking: Being the victim puts them at the center of attention, which is where they thrive.
• Avoidance of Responsibility: By playing the victim, they dodge accountability for their actions.

18. Boundary Testing

Narcissists often test boundaries to see how much control they can exert over others. Boundary testing is a manipulative tactic where they push limits to see how you’ll react. If you give in, they take it as a green light to continue their behavior.

Why Do Narcissists Test Boundaries?

1. Control: They thrive on controlling others and testing boundaries is a way to establish dominance.
2. Validation: By pushing limits and getting a reaction, they feel validated and important.
3. Manipulation: It’s a tool to manipulate and confuse, making you doubt your own limits.

How to Recognize Boundary Testing

• Unexpected demands: They might suddenly ask for something unreasonable to see if you’ll comply.
• Ignoring your “no”: They might dismiss your refusal, acting as if it never happened.
• Subtle undermining: They gradually increase pressure, making it hard to pinpoint when boundaries were crossed.

19. Social Media Drama

In today’s digital age, social media is a playground for narcissists to stir up drama. Why do they do it? Well, social media offers them a stage to perform, and they love the spotlight.

Narcissists might engage in social media drama for a few reasons:

1. Attention Seeking: They thrive on attention, whether it’s positive or negative. Posting controversial or dramatic content ensures they remain the center of attention.
2. Manipulation: By creating drama, they can manipulate how others perceive them. They’ll often play the victim, twisting stories to gain sympathy and support.
3. Control: Social media allows them to control the narrative. By carefully curating their posts, they can project an image that suits their needs.

Social media can also be a tool for narcissistic texting, where messages are crafted to manipulate and control the narrative. This digital drama can affect personal relationships and self-perception, as explored in discussions on narcissism on social media.

Additionally, narcissists may delete or alter their profiles to hide lies, a tactic discussed in concealing deception. This constant change keeps others guessing and maintains their control over the situation.

20. Isolation Tactics

Narcissists often use isolation tactics to control and manipulate their targets. When you block a narcissist, it can sometimes feel like a game of cat and mouse. They might block you back or even try to isolate you from friends and family as a form of retaliation. This behavior is part of the larger narcissist blocking game, where the goal is to leave you feeling alone and dependent on them.

Why Narcissists Use Isolation

Isolation is a powerful tool for narcissists. By cutting you off from your support network, they can increase your reliance on them. This makes it easier for them to control the narrative and manipulate your emotions.

1. Control Over Communication: Blocking and unblocking a narcissist can be their way of dictating when and how you communicate.
2. Creating Dependency: By isolating you, they aim to make you feel that they are the only ones who understand you.
3. Punishment and Reward: Isolation can serve as a punishment for perceived wrongs or as a reward when you comply with their demands.

Should You Block a Narcissist?

Deciding whether or not you should you block a narcissist is a personal choice. However, blocking can be an effective way to establish boundaries and protect yourself from further manipulation. It’s crucial to weigh the potential fallout, as narcissists might escalate their tactics when they feel cornered.

By understanding these isolation tactics, you can better prepare yourself for the emotional games narcissists play. Remember, maintaining your support network is key to resisting their attempts to isolate you.

21. Control Issues

Narcissists often use blocking as a tool for control. They thrive on the power dynamics in relationships, and blocking someone is a way to assert dominance. This behavior creates a cycle of uncertainty and punishment, where the person being blocked is left questioning their actions and worth.

Blocking can be a way for narcissists to manipulate emotions, leaving the blocked individual feeling isolated and anxious. This tactic is not just about ending communication; it’s about maintaining control over how and when interactions occur.

Conclusion

So, there you have it. Dealing with a narcissist isn’t a walk in the park, especially when it comes to blocking them. It’s like playing a game where the rules keep changing. Sometimes, blocking them might seem like the best way to protect your peace, but it can also stir up a whole lot of drama. They might see it as a challenge or a personal attack, and their reactions can be all over the place—from anger to trying to win you back.

The key is to stay firm in your decision and remember why you chose to block them in the first place. It’s about taking care of your mental health and setting boundaries that work for you. At the end of the day, it’s your life, and you get to decide who gets to be a part of it. Just keep your cool, and don’t let their antics get to you. You’ve got this!

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Frequently Asked Questions

Why do narcissists block you as a control tactic?

Narcissists block to dominate communication, dictating when and how interactions occur. This reinforces their power, leaving you confused and dependent on their terms.

How does blocking serve as punishment from a narcissist?

Blocking acts as retaliation for perceived slights, using silence to inflict emotional distress. It’s a tactic to “punish” you while avoiding accountability.

Do narcissists block to avoid accountability?

Yes. Blocking lets narcissists evade difficult conversations or criticism that might expose their flaws. Cutting contact preemptively shields them from responsibility.

Why do narcissists block to protect their self-image?

They block to avoid threats to their false persona. Confrontations or truths about their behavior risk exposing their insecurities, prompting them to shut you out.