How to make a narcissist want you fast begins with knowing what attracts them. You have to get their attention quickly by giving them praise and making them feel important. Show some confidence and act independent to make them interested.
Want to be noticed? Copy how they act, give real compliments, and stay a bit secretive. These things help them remember you. Use clever ideas and see how fast they want you.
Key Takeaways
Narcissists want people to admire them. Give real compliments to get their attention.
Show that you are confident and independent. Stand up straight and respect yourself. This will make them interested in you.
Make yourself a little mysterious. Do not share everything about yourself. This will make them want to learn more.
Give them some attention, but not too much.
Praise them, but do not overdo it. This keeps them curious. Set clear rules for how you want to be treated. This helps you keep their respect.
Do things together that you both enjoy. Find things you both like to make your bond stronger.
Be a little hard to get. Do not always be available. This makes them try harder to get your attention.
What Attracts a Narcissist
If you know what draws a narcissist, you can spot their habits early. Narcissists like people and things that make them feel good about themselves. They look for traits and situations that help their ego. Let’s look at what makes someone stand out to a narcissist.
Admiration
Narcissists really want others to admire them. They like people who make them feel special and important. You might see them get happy when you praise them or listen to their stories.
Ego Boost
Narcissists need lots of compliments and attention. They look for people who make them feel better about themselves. If you say nice things about their looks or skills, they will like you more.
Narcissists want others to admire them and give them attention. Sometimes, they use love bombing. This means they give you lots of gifts and affection to pull you in.
Seeking Validation
Validation is important for narcissists. When you agree with them or support their choices, it makes them feel important. This can make you a target for their attention.
Validation helps a narcissist feel admired.
It can make a fake connection, where the narcissist feels good but does not give back.
Validation can make bad behavior worse and let them control you more.
Attention Needs
Narcissists want to be the main focus in your life. They love when you give them your time and energy. If you pay lots of attention to them, they will keep coming back.
Experts say narcissists like relationships where they get lots of admiration. Over time, their need for attention can make them act pushy or demanding.
Status and Appearance
Narcissists care a lot about how things look. They want to be seen with people who make them look better.
Social Proof
Narcissists want partners who are popular or have high status. Being with you can make them look good to others.
Narcissists really care about their status.
They like relationships that make them look better.
They often want to be around important people and places.
Physical Appeal
Looks are important to narcissists. They often pick good-looking partners because it makes them feel special.
Some studies show that attractive people may act more like narcissists. This can make them seem more wanted, especially for short-term dating.
Trait | Associated Image | Social Value |
|---|---|---|
Vanity | Appealing traits | Agency, Competence |
Selfishness | Negative traits | Absent |
Unique Qualities
If you have special talents or stand out, a narcissist may really want you. They like to be close to people who shine. They use your good qualities to make themselves look better.
Common Misconceptions
Many people think narcissists only go after weak or shy people. This is not always true. Some studies say people with low self-esteem or past trauma can be easier targets. But narcissists also go after strong, successful people who can raise their status.
Source | Evidence |
|---|---|
Breaking the Cycle | People with low self-esteem or trauma may fall for narcissists’ charm. |
3 Reasons People Are Drawn… | Hiding feelings can make people put up with bad treatment from narcissists. |
Why Do I Attract Narcissists? | Not feeling good about yourself can make you want a narcissist’s attention. |
Remember, narcissists look for anyone who gives them admiration, attention, or status—even if you are strong or successful.
How To Make A Narcissist Want You
To make a narcissist want you, use smart steps. These steps work with their personality. Narcissists want attention, admiration, and validation. You can use these needs to help yourself. Build rapport and give compliments in the right way.
Build Rapport
Getting close to a narcissist means making them feel special. Show you care about what they like. Let them be the center of attention.
Common Interests
Find things you both like. Talk about what they enjoy. Ask about their hobbies or what they have done. When you show real interest, they feel important. This helps you connect with them faster.
Shared Activities
Doing things together can make a narcissist want you more. Pick activities where they can stand out. Go with them to public events or group outings. Narcissists love attention from others. So, doing things in public works well.
Doing things in public can make them like you more.
Narcissists enjoy events where they get noticed.
Letting them lead in group activities makes them feel good.
Emotional Connection
Try to build a bond by listening to their feelings. Let them talk about themselves. Show you care when they share stories. This makes them feel understood and admired.
Tip: Let the narcissist lead the talk. Put your own ego aside and let them be the star. Sometimes, say something a little wrong so they can correct you. This makes them feel smart and important.
Ways to Build Rapport with a Narcissist
Action | Why It Works | Expert Tip |
|---|---|---|
Lets them feel important | Focus on their achievements | |
Appeal to their desires | Makes them feel understood | Use their goals in conversation |
Let them correct you | Boosts their self-image | Say something for them to fix |
Show social proof | Sparks their envy and interest | Mention others’ successes |
Strategic Compliments
Compliments work best when you use them wisely. Narcissists love praise, but you need to be careful.
Flattery Techniques
Give compliments that fit the moment. Praise their skills or what they have done, not just their looks. For example, say, “You did great in that meeting,” instead of, “You look nice.” This makes your praise feel real and special.
Timing Praise
When you give compliments matters. Give positive feedback early, when you first meet or talk. This helps their self-image and makes them want more attention from you. Over time, do not praise too much. If you do, their charm may fade and their bad traits may show.
Studies show narcissists like compliments that fit the moment and talk about real achievements. Too much praise can make them feel weird or not trust you.
Avoiding Overdoing It
Do not give compliments all the time. If you praise them too much, they may lose interest. They might think you are not being honest. Keep your compliments real and balanced.
Note: Narcissists know when people try too hard. Give praise when it feels right, not just to get their attention.
Compliment Strategies Table
Compliment Type | When to Use | Effect on Narcissist | Research Finding (2000-2025) |
|---|---|---|---|
Achievement-based | After a success | Boosts ego, increases interest | Seamless ingratiation works best |
Appearance-based | At first meeting | Grabs attention | Initial praise boosts self-image |
Social status-based | In group settings | Makes them feel admired | Public praise increases desirability |
Excessive flattery | Avoid | Causes suspicion, embarrassment | Overdoing it leads to negative reactions |
If you want to master how to make a narcissist want you, focus on building rapport and using compliments the right way. Find things you both like, do activities together, and give praise that feels real. These steps help you stand out and keep their attention.
Confidence and Independence
Narcissists like people who act confident and independent. If you stand tall and respect yourself, they notice you more. You do not have to change who you are. Use your own strengths to get their attention.
Show Confidence
Assertive Body Language
Your body talks before you do. Stand up straight and look people in the eye. Use open hands and arms when you talk. These moves show you believe in yourself. Narcissists watch for people who seem sure. They think confidence means power.
Self-Assurance
Trust your choices and speak clearly. Do not doubt what you say. When you act sure, you show you know your worth. Narcissists sometimes test people’s confidence. If you stay calm, you look more interesting to them.
Evidence | Description |
|---|---|
Confidence and Narcissism | People with high narcissism act powerful and confident. This attracts people with anxiety. |
Anxious Individuals | People with anxiety may like narcissists’ confidence. They see it as protection in tough situations. |
Standing Out
You do not have to fit in with everyone. Show what makes you special. Share your hobbies or skills. Narcissists want to be near people who shine. If you stand out, they feel proud to know you.
Evidence Description | Findings |
|---|---|
Pathological narcissists change how they see themselves based on feedback. | This change affects how much others want them. It shows self-assurance matters. |
The study had 84 people and looked at self-importance. | High narcissism made people change how important they felt. This supports the idea that self-assurance matters. |
Maintain Independence
Personal Boundaries
Set clear rules for yourself. Tell people what you will accept and what you will not. Narcissists respect people who keep their limits. Good boundaries teach others how to treat you.
People with strong self-worth do not attract narcissists as much.
Clear boundaries help us keep our values and teach others how to treat us.
Many people who dated narcissists learn they did not have good boundaries.
Self-Respect
Take care of yourself and your needs. Make sure you stay healthy and happy. When you respect yourself, others learn how to treat you. Narcissists notice if you do not let them push you around.
Studies show narcissists want to feel important. This can change if people around them have self-respect. Keeping self-respect can change how narcissists act toward you.
Put your health first.
Find hobbies and interests outside the relationship.
Notice your own strengths and wins.
Say no when you need to.
Stand up for yourself.
Limiting Availability
Do not say yes to everything. Make time for your own life and fun. If you are not always there, narcissists want your attention more. They like the challenge of getting noticed by you.
Tip: Keep your own plans and do not drop everything for someone else. This shows you are strong. Narcissists find this hard to ignore.
If you show confidence and keep your independence, you can attract narcissists. You also protect yourself and keep control of your life. These steps help you stand out and stay safe.
Mystery and Challenge
Narcissists like things that are exciting and not boring. If you want them to notice you, try to be a little mysterious. Make things a bit hard for them. This makes them want to chase you. Let’s see how you can use these ideas.
Create Mystery
Being Unpredictable
You can get a narcissist’s attention by acting in new ways. Change what you do sometimes. Try new things or make different plans. When you do things they do not expect, you seem more fun.
The way they act and talk is always a bit mysterious. This is what makes us want to be around them. They are never boring. They can surprise us and make us feel excited. Being with them feels like a wild ride.
Narcissists like not knowing what will happen next. You can use this to keep them interested.
Withholding Information
Do not tell them everything about yourself right away. Keep some things to yourself. This makes you seem more interesting. Narcissists want to know more, so they keep coming back.
Not sharing everything makes people want to get closer to narcissists.
Narcissists keep secrets to stay in control and make people chase them.
When you feel left out, you try harder to get their attention.
Narcissists may not show love all the time, so you want it more.
Sometimes they are nice, sometimes not, which makes you want them more.
Intriguing Behavior
Show what makes you special. Talk about a new hobby or skill. Let them see you have your own life. When you do things that are different, you seem more cool. Narcissists like people who are fun and stand out.
Be a Challenge
Not Always Available
Do not always say yes when they ask for something. Spend time on your own hobbies. If you are not always there, they want you more. People want things that are hard to get.
Setting Limits
Make rules for how you want to be treated. Tell them what is okay and what is not. Narcissists notice when you stand up for yourself.
Making rules helps protect you from bad behavior.
Being strong with your rules can make things better.
Narcissists look confident but are not always sure of themselves.
Good rules can stop them from being mean and help you feel safe.
Encouraging Pursuit
Let the narcissist try to get your attention. Give them a little praise, but not too much. Make them work to spend time with you. When you are a challenge, they want to win you over.
Tip: If you keep some things private and make rules, you seem special. Narcissists like to chase people. Use this to keep them wanting you.
If you act mysterious and are a challenge, you use tricks that make narcissists want you. They want things they cannot have easily. Be unpredictable, keep some secrets, and make strong rules. These steps help you stand out and keep a narcissist’s eyes on you.
Keep Their Interest
It takes skill to keep a narcissist interested. You need to pay attention and be careful. Give them some attention, but not too much. If you make mistakes, it can hurt you. Here are ways to do this.
Balance Attention
Give and Take
You should trade attention in a fair way. Show you are happy about their wins. This makes them feel good and keeps them interested. Do not tell them everything about yourself. Keep some things secret. When you are a little mysterious, they want to know more. Narcissists like to chase, so let them try to get your attention.
Show real excitement when they do well.
Do not share all your secrets.
Make them wonder what you are thinking.
Avoid Over-Investing
If you give too much, you lose control. Change how much attention you give them. Sometimes, praise them. Other times, focus on yourself. This keeps them guessing and wanting more from you.
Tip: Do not always be around. Make them wonder what you are doing. This keeps them interested.
Recognize Shifts
Watch how they act. If they pull away, do not chase after them. Step back and let them come to you. Notice if they get bossy or bored. Change what you do to keep things balanced.
Action | Result |
|---|---|
Pull back sometimes | Makes them want you more |
Stay mysterious | Keeps them guessing |
Praise wisely | Makes them feel special |
Avoid Mistakes
Ignoring Red Flags
Never ignore warning signs. Narcissists can hurt you in many ways. If you see them being mean or not caring, take it seriously. Ignoring these signs can make you sad, worried, or even sick. Some people start bad habits to feel better, like eating too much or using drugs.
Notice early signs of bad actions.
Take care of your mind and body.
Being close to a narcissist can hurt your health.
Losing Yourself
Trying too hard to please a narcissist can make you forget who you are. You might feel sad, worried, or not good enough. Your other friendships can get worse. You may stop seeing people or feel embarrassed.
Psychological Impacts | Emotional Responses | Social Effects |
|---|---|---|
Anxiety, depression | Mood changes | Friendships get weaker |
Shame, worthlessness | Pulling away from others | Trust problems grow |
Not feeling good enough | More manipulation | Feeling alone |
Note: Always remember who you are. Do not let their needs erase yours.
Over-Complimenting
Too much praise can be bad. Narcissists may think you are not honest or get bored. Praise them for something special they did. For example, say, “Your idea in that meeting was great,” instead of just saying, “Good job.” Make your compliments fit them. This makes your words feel real.
Give praise that is clear and special.
Make them feel unique with your words.
Common Pitfalls to Avoid
Experts say to watch out for these mistakes:
Fighting for control.
Begging or trying to change their mind.
Using guilt or shame.
Not showing feelings.
Trying too hard to please.
Sharing deep secrets or dreams.
Taking mean words to heart.
Trying to earn their love.
Ignoring your own pain.
Hoping they will change.
Making excuses for what they do.
Self-Protection Tips
Protect yourself by making clear rules. Keep some space between your feelings and theirs. Build your confidence. Ask friends, family, or experts for help. Use calm thinking to handle stress. Know when it is time to leave.
Make rules and stick to them.
Stay aware of your feelings.
Do not react with big emotions.
Use “I” when you talk.
Write down what happens.
Do not spend too much time with them.
Remember, you come first. Keeping a narcissist interested should never hurt your happiness or health.
Conclusion
If you want a narcissist to like you, try these steps:
Make a quick connection by showing you care and saying “we.”
Give real compliments and praise when they do something good.
Act sure of yourself and keep doing your own thing.
Be a little secretive and make them work for your attention.
Give them some attention, but not too much.
Less Effective | |
|---|---|
Ambitious | Grounded |
Self-reliant | Collaborative |
Persuasive communication | Accurate communication |
Watch out for tricks like fake promises or too much affection. Make sure you respect yourself while using these ideas.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What makes a narcissist want you quickly?
You can attract a narcissist by showing confidence, giving genuine compliments, and keeping some mystery. Make them feel important. Let them chase you. Stay independent and set clear boundaries.
Should you always compliment a narcissist?
You should give compliments that feel real and special. Avoid overdoing it. Too much praise can make you seem insincere. Focus on their achievements or unique qualities.
How do you keep a narcissist interested?
Balance attention. Give praise when they earn it. Stay a little unpredictable. Limit your availability. Keep your own hobbies and friends. Make them work for your time.
What are signs a narcissist is losing interest?
You may notice less attention, fewer compliments, or more criticism. They might ignore you or act bored. Watch for sudden changes in their mood or behavior.
Is it safe to date a narcissist?
Dating a narcissist can be risky. You may feel drained or lose confidence. Protect your mental health. Know your limits. Leave if you feel unsafe or unhappy.