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Narcissistic Love Bombing: When Prince Charming Turns Toxic

Recognize When Charm Turns Into Emotional Manipulation

Understanding Eating Disorders: Types, Signs, And Treatment by Som Dutt From https://embraceinnerchaos.com

Last updated on December 18th, 2024 at 03:55 am

Imagine meeting someone who sweeps you off your feet, showering you with affection, gifts, and promises of a fairy tale future. It feels like a dream come true, doesn’t it? But what if this magical encounter is actually the beginning of a nightmare?

Recent studies suggest that approximately 1 in 20 people exhibit narcissistic personality traits, with some estimates reaching as high as 6.2% of the population. While not all narcissists engage in love bombing, this manipulative tactic is a common tool in their arsenal.

Love bombing is an intense, overwhelming display of affection and attention that can leave you feeling dizzy with emotion. It’s a powerful technique that narcissists use to quickly form a strong emotional bond with their target. But beneath the surface of this apparent fairy tale lies a sinister reality.

1. Understanding Narcissism and Love Bombing

1.1 What is Narcissism?

Narcissism is a complex personality trait characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others. While we all possess some degree of healthy narcissism, individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) take these traits to extreme levels.

Narcissists often struggle with maintaining healthy relationships due to their self-centered nature and inability to truly connect with others on an emotional level. They may appear charming and confident on the surface, but underneath lies a fragile ego that requires constant validation and admiration.

1.2 The Tactics of Love Bombing

Love bombing is a manipulative technique often employed by narcissists to quickly form an intense emotional connection with their target. This whirlwind romance is characterized by excessive displays of affection, grand gestures, and promises of a perfect future together.

During the love bombing phase, a narcissist may:

– Shower you with compliments and flattery
– Lavish you with expensive gifts or romantic gestures
– Profess their undying love early in the relationship
– Make grand promises about your future together

It’s important to note that while love bombing is a common tactic used by narcissists, not all individuals who engage in love bombing are necessarily narcissists. However, the intensity and manipulative nature of love bombing make it a favored tool in the narcissist’s arsenal.

1.3 The Psychology Behind Love Bombing

Love bombing serves several purposes for the narcissist. Primarily, it allows them to quickly establish control over their target by creating an intense emotional bond. This rapid escalation of intimacy can leave the victim feeling overwhelmed and dependent on the narcissist for emotional validation.

Additionally, love bombing helps the narcissist create an idealized version of themselves in their partner’s eyes. By presenting themselves as the perfect partner, they lay the groundwork for future manipulation and abuse.

1.4 The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

Love bombing is often the first stage in the cycle of narcissistic abuse. This cycle typically consists of three phases:

1. Idealization (love bombing)
2. Devaluation
3. Discard

Understanding this cycle is crucial for recognizing narcissistic abuse patterns in relationships and breaking free from toxic dynamics.

2. Recognizing the Signs of Love Bombing

2.1 Excessive Flattery and Compliments

One of the hallmarks of love bombing is an overwhelming amount of praise and adoration. While genuine compliments are a normal part of healthy relationships, love bombing takes this to an extreme level.

A narcissist may constantly tell you how perfect you are, how they’ve never met anyone like you before, or how you’re their soulmate. While this may feel good initially, it’s important to be wary of excessive flattery, especially early in a relationship.

2.2 Rapid Relationship Progression

Love bombers often push for a quick escalation of the relationship. They may talk about moving in together, getting married, or having children within weeks or months of meeting. This rush to commitment can be a red flag, as healthy relationships typically develop at a more measured pace.

Be cautious if your partner is pressuring you to make major life decisions or commitments before you’ve had time to truly get to know each other. This rapid progression is often a tactic used to create a sense of obligation and dependency.

2.3 Grand Gestures and Lavish Gifts

While romantic gestures can be a lovely part of any relationship, love bombing often involves over-the-top displays of affection. A narcissist may shower you with expensive gifts, plan elaborate dates, or make grand proclamations of their feelings.

These gestures are designed to make you feel special and indebted to them. However, it’s important to remember that genuine love is about consistent care and respect, not just grand displays of affection.

2.4 Constant Communication and Attention

During the love bombing phase, a narcissist may demand constant communication and attention. They might text or call you incessantly, expecting immediate responses. This behavior can feel flattering at first, but it’s often a precursor to more controlling behavior down the line.

Healthy relationships involve a balance of togetherness and independence. If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by your partner’s need for constant contact, it may be a sign of love bombing.

3. The Dark Side of Love Bombing

3.1 Creating Emotional Dependency

One of the primary goals of love bombing is to create emotional dependency. By showering their target with affection and attention, narcissists aim to become the center of their partner’s world. This dependency makes it harder for the victim to recognize abuse or leave the relationship later on.

Narcissistic Love Bombing: When Prince Charming Turns Toxic
Narcissistic Love Bombing: When Prince Charming Turns Toxic -By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com

The intense emotions stirred up during love bombing can create a powerful trauma bond, making it difficult for victims to break free even when they recognize the toxic nature of the relationship. This emotional manipulation is a key component of narcissistic abuse.

3.2 Setting the Stage for Future Abuse

Love bombing isn’t just about creating a positive impression; it’s also about setting the stage for future abuse. By establishing themselves as the perfect partner, narcissists create a stark contrast for when they later withdraw their affection or begin to devalue their partner.

This idealized version of the relationship becomes a tool for manipulation, with the narcissist often referencing how things “used to be” to keep their partner hoping for a return to the love bombing phase.

3.3 Eroding Personal Boundaries

Another insidious aspect of love bombing is how it can erode personal boundaries. The intensity of attention and affection can make it difficult to maintain healthy boundaries, especially if you’re not accustomed to such overwhelming interest.

Narcissists may use love bombing to push past your comfort zones, pressuring you into situations or commitments you’re not ready for. This boundary violation sets a dangerous precedent for the relationship.

3.4 The Inevitable Shift to Devaluation

Perhaps the most painful aspect of love bombing is the inevitable shift that follows. Once the narcissist feels they have secured their partner’s affection and commitment, the love bombing phase often gives way to devaluation.

The same person who once showered you with compliments may begin to criticize and belittle you. The affection and attention that once felt overwhelming may suddenly become scarce. This stark contrast can leave victims feeling confused, hurt, and desperately seeking a return to the “honeymoon phase” of love bombing.

4. The Psychological Impact of Narcissistic Love Bombing

4.1 Emotional Rollercoaster

The intense highs of love bombing followed by the lows of devaluation can create a devastating emotional rollercoaster for victims. This constant fluctuation between extreme positive and negative emotions can be emotionally exhausting and psychologically damaging.

Victims may find themselves constantly on edge, never knowing what to expect from their partner. This unpredictability can lead to chronic stress and anxiety, impacting both mental and physical health.

4.2 Self-Doubt and Cognitive Dissonance

As the relationship progresses from love bombing to devaluation, victims often experience significant self-doubt and cognitive dissonance. The stark contrast between the idealized version of their partner during love bombing and the abusive behavior that follows can be difficult to reconcile.

Victims may question their own perceptions, wondering if they’re overreacting or if they’ve done something to cause the change in their partner’s behavior. This self-doubt is often exacerbated by the narcissist’s gaslighting tactics, further eroding the victim’s sense of reality.

4.3 Loss of Self-Identity

The intensity of love bombing can often lead to a loss of self-identity for the victim. As the narcissist becomes the center of their world, victims may find themselves neglecting their own interests, friendships, and personal goals.

This erosion of self can make it even more difficult to recognize abuse or leave the relationship, as victims may feel they’ve invested too much of themselves to walk away. Understanding the long-term psychological impact of narcissistic abuse is crucial for recovery.

4.4 Trust Issues and Future Relationships

The experience of narcissistic love bombing can have lasting impacts on a person’s ability to trust and form healthy relationships in the future. Victims may become hypervigilant, constantly on the lookout for signs of love bombing or narcissistic behavior in new partners.

While this caution can be protective, it can also prevent victims from fully opening up and experiencing genuine love and affection. Healing from narcissistic abuse often involves learning to trust again, both in others and in one’s own judgment.

5. Breaking Free from the Cycle of Love Bombing

5.1 Recognizing the Pattern

The first step in breaking free from the cycle of love bombing is recognizing the pattern. Educate yourself about the signs of narcissism and the tactics used in narcissistic abuse. Understanding that love bombing is a manipulation tactic rather than genuine affection can help you view the behavior more objectively.

Pay attention to how you feel in the relationship. While the intensity of love bombing can feel exhilarating, it often comes with an undercurrent of anxiety or a feeling that things are moving too fast. Trust your instincts if something feels off.

5.2 Setting and Maintaining Boundaries

Establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries is crucial in protecting yourself from love bombing and narcissistic abuse. This might involve:

– Setting limits on communication frequency
– Taking things slow in the relationship
– Maintaining your own interests and friendships
– Being clear about your comfort levels and expectations

Remember, a healthy partner will respect your boundaries. If someone consistently pushes against or ignores your boundaries, it’s a red flag.

5.3 Seeking Support and Validation

Breaking free from a narcissistic relationship can be incredibly challenging, especially given the emotional manipulation involved. Seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a professional therapist can provide crucial validation and perspective.

Narcissistic Love Bombing: When Prince Charming Turns Toxic
Narcissistic Love Bombing: When Prince Charming Turns Toxic -By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com

Support groups for survivors of narcissistic abuse can also be incredibly helpful, providing a space to share experiences and coping strategies with others who understand what you’re going through.

5.4 Healing and Recovery

Healing from narcissistic love bombing and abuse is a journey that takes time and patience. A step-by-step guide to healing and recovery can provide a roadmap for this process. Some key aspects of healing include:

– Practicing self-care and self-compassion
– Rebuilding self-esteem and self-identity
– Processing and releasing trauma
– Learning to trust yourself and others again

Remember, healing is not linear. Be patient with yourself as you navigate this process.

6. Preventing Future Love Bombing

6.1 Understanding Your Vulnerabilities

To protect yourself from future love bombing, it’s important to understand what made you vulnerable to it in the first place. This might involve exploring past experiences, attachment styles, or personal insecurities that a narcissist might exploit.

Therapy can be incredibly helpful in this process, providing a safe space to explore these vulnerabilities and develop healthier coping mechanisms. Remember, being vulnerable to love bombing doesn’t make you weak or flawed – many intelligent, compassionate people fall victim to these tactics.

6.2 Recognizing Red Flags Early

Educating yourself about the red flags of narcissism can help you spot potential issues early in future relationships. Some key red flags to watch for include:

– Love bombing behaviors (excessive flattery, rapid relationship progression)
– Lack of empathy or consideration for your feelings
– Grandiose behavior or sense of entitlement
– Manipulative tactics like gaslighting or guilt-tripping

Remember, it’s not your responsibility to diagnose or “fix” someone exhibiting these behaviors. Your priority should be protecting your own well-being.

6.3 Cultivating Self-Love and Independence

Building a strong sense of self-love and independence can be one of the best defenses against love bombing and narcissistic abuse. This involves:

– Developing a clear sense of your own values and boundaries
– Pursuing your own interests and goals
– Building a strong support network outside of romantic relationships
– Practicing self-care and self-compassion

When you have a strong sense of self and a fulfilling life outside of relationships, you’re less likely to be swayed by the intense affection and attention of love bombing.




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Frequently Asked Questions

What Are The Key Signs Of Narcissistic Love Bombing?

Narcissistic love bombing often involves excessive flattery, grand romantic gestures, and intense declarations of love early in a relationship. According to Psychology Today, love bombers may shower their partners with constant attention, lavish gifts, and promises of a perfect future together.

They might text or call excessively, push for quick commitment, and try to isolate their partner from friends and family. These behaviors are designed to create a false sense of intimacy and dependency, ultimately serving the narcissist’s need for control and admiration.

How Does The Narcissistic Love Bombing Cycle Typically Unfold?

The narcissistic love bombing cycle typically unfolds in three distinct stages: idealization, devaluation, and discard. During the idealization phase, the narcissist showers their partner with affection and attention, creating an intense emotional bond. Verywell Mind explains that this is followed by the devaluation phase, where the narcissist begins to criticize and belittle their partner, eroding their self-esteem.

Finally, in the discard phase, the narcissist may abruptly end the relationship or emotionally withdraw, leaving their partner confused and hurt. This cycle may repeat multiple times, creating an addictive and toxic dynamic in the relationship.

Can Love Bombing Ever Be A Sign Of Genuine Affection?

While love bombing is often associated with narcissistic manipulation, it’s important to note that not all intense displays of affection are inherently toxic. Healthline suggests that genuine affection can sometimes be mistaken for love bombing, especially in the early stages of a relationship when emotions are running high.

The key difference lies in the intent and consistency of the behavior. Genuine affection is typically accompanied by respect for boundaries, willingness to take things at a comfortable pace, and a lack of manipulative tactics. If the intense affection is coupled with pressuring for commitment or attempts to control, it’s more likely to be love bombing.

What Are The Long-Term Effects Of Narcissistic Love Bombing On Mental Health?

Narcissistic love bombing can have severe long-term effects on a person’s mental health. Medical News Today reports that victims of love bombing often experience anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem. The intense emotional highs and lows of the narcissistic abuse cycle can lead to trauma bonding, making it difficult for victims to leave the relationship.

Many survivors struggle with trust issues in future relationships and may develop symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). The constant manipulation and gaslighting associated with love bombing can also erode a person’s sense of reality and self-worth, potentially leading to long-lasting psychological damage.

How Can Someone Protect Themselves From Narcissistic Love Bombing?

Protecting oneself from narcissistic love bombing involves being aware of the signs and maintaining strong personal boundaries. PsychCentral advises taking new relationships slowly and being cautious of partners who push for quick commitment or try to isolate you from your support network.

It’s important to maintain your own identity, interests, and relationships outside of the romantic partnership. Trust your instincts if something feels off, and don’t be afraid to seek outside perspectives from friends, family, or a therapist. Setting and enforcing clear boundaries is crucial, as is being willing to walk away if those boundaries are consistently violated.

What Role Does Social Media Play In Narcissistic Love Bombing?

Social media can amplify the effects of narcissistic love bombing by providing additional platforms for manipulation and control. The Conversation explains that narcissists may use social media to publicly declare their love, post excessive couple photos, or monitor their partner’s online activities.

They might use these platforms to create an idealized image of the relationship, gaining admiration from others while simultaneously love bombing their partner. Social media also allows for constant communication, making it easier for the narcissist to bombard their partner with messages and maintain a sense of control even when physically apart.

How Does Narcissistic Love Bombing Differ In Various Types Of Relationships?

While narcissistic love bombing is most commonly associated with romantic relationships, it can occur in various types of interpersonal connections. Insider reports that in friendships, a narcissist might overwhelm a new friend with attention and favors, creating a sense of obligation. In family relationships, a narcissistic parent might use love bombing to maintain control over their children, alternating between excessive affection and emotional withdrawal.

In professional settings, a narcissistic boss or colleague might use love bombing tactics to gain favor or manipulate others into doing their bidding. The core elements of intense affection followed by devaluation remain consistent across these different relationship types.

What Are The Challenges In Recovering From Narcissistic Love Bombing?

Recovering from narcissistic love bombing can be a complex and challenging process. Psych Central explains that one of the main difficulties is breaking the trauma bond that forms during the abuse cycle. Victims often struggle with cognitive dissonance, finding it hard to reconcile the loving behavior they experienced during the love bombing phase with the subsequent abuse.

Many survivors face self-doubt, blaming themselves for the relationship’s failure or questioning their own perceptions. Rebuilding self-esteem and learning to trust again are significant hurdles in the recovery process. Additionally, the risk of being re-victimized by other narcissists is high, making it crucial for survivors to work on recognizing red flags and setting healthy boundaries in future relationships.

Can Narcissists Change Their Love Bombing Behavior?

The question of whether narcissists can change their love bombing behavior is complex and often debated. Psychology Today suggests that true change is rare and typically requires the narcissist to acknowledge their behavior and actively seek help. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is deeply ingrained and often resistant to treatment. However, some individuals with narcissistic traits may be able to modify their behavior through intensive therapy and a genuine desire to change.

It’s important to note that change must come from the narcissist themselves and cannot be forced by a partner or external circumstances. For those in relationships with narcissists, it’s generally advised to prioritize their own well-being and safety rather than waiting for the narcissist to change.

How Does Cultural Context Influence Perceptions Of Love Bombing?

Cultural context plays a significant role in how love bombing is perceived and experienced. The Atlantic explores how different cultures have varying norms around courtship and expressions of affection. What might be considered love bombing in one culture could be seen as normal romantic behavior in another. For example, in some cultures, rapid progression of relationships and grand gestures of love are more accepted or even expected.

This cultural variation can make it challenging for individuals to recognize love bombing, especially in cross-cultural relationships. Additionally, cultural attitudes towards mental health and relationship dynamics can influence how narcissistic behavior is identified and addressed. It’s crucial to consider cultural context while also being aware of universal red flags in relationship behavior.

What Are The Differences Between Love Bombing And Genuine Romantic Gestures?

Distinguishing between love bombing and genuine romantic gestures can be challenging, but there are key differences. Healthline explains that genuine romantic gestures are typically consistent, respectful of boundaries, and don’t come with strings attached. They are expressions of affection that align with the natural progression of the relationship. In contrast, love bombing is often excessive, feels rushed or pressured, and is used as a tool for manipulation.

Genuine affection allows for individuality and doesn’t seek to create dependency, while love bombing aims to overwhelm and control. A key indicator is how the person reacts when you set boundaries or express discomfort – a genuinely affectionate partner will respect your feelings, while a love bomber may become upset or manipulative.

How Does Narcissistic Love Bombing Affect Children In Family Dynamics?

Narcissistic love bombing can have profound effects on children within family dynamics. Psychology Today discusses how narcissistic parents may use love bombing as a tool for control and manipulation. Children may experience intense periods of affection and attention, followed by withdrawal or criticism.

This inconsistent parenting can lead to attachment issues, low self-esteem, and difficulties in forming healthy relationships later in life. Children of narcissistic parents often struggle with their own identity, as they’re taught to prioritize the narcissist’s needs over their own. The cycle of idealization and devaluation can create confusion and emotional instability, potentially leading to long-term psychological effects that persist into adulthood.

What Role Does Empathy Play In Narcissistic Love Bombing?

Empathy, or the lack thereof, plays a crucial role in narcissistic love bombing. Verywell Mind explains that true narcissists typically lack genuine empathy, which is a key factor in their ability to manipulate others through love bombing. While they may appear empathetic during the love bombing phase, this is often a superficial display aimed at gaining trust and admiration.

The narcissist’s inability to truly empathize with their partner’s feelings allows them to engage in harmful behaviors without genuine remorse. This lack of empathy becomes more apparent during the devaluation and discard phases of the narcissistic abuse cycle. Understanding this empathy deficit can help potential victims recognize the inauthentic nature of a narcissist’s affections and protect themselves from emotional manipulation.

How Can Therapy Help Survivors Of Narcissistic Love Bombing?

Therapy can be a crucial tool for survivors of narcissistic love bombing in their healing journey. GoodTherapy outlines how various therapeutic approaches can address the complex trauma resulting from narcissistic abuse. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) can help survivors challenge and reframe negative thought patterns developed during the abusive relationship.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) may be effective in processing traumatic memories associated with the love bombing and subsequent abuse. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) can assist in developing emotional regulation skills and improving interpersonal relationships. Therapy also provides a safe space for survivors to rebuild their self-esteem, set healthy boundaries, and work through trust issues. A skilled therapist can guide survivors in understanding the dynamics of narcissistic abuse, helping them break free from the cycle and develop strategies for healthier future relationships.

What Are The Warning Signs That Love Bombing Is Turning Into Abuse?

Recognizing when love bombing is transitioning into abuse is crucial for protecting oneself. Psych Central identifies several warning signs that indicate love bombing is evolving into abusive behavior. These may include sudden mood swings, where intense affection quickly turns to criticism or anger. The narcissist may begin to violate boundaries that were previously respected, or become possessive and jealous.

There might be attempts to isolate the victim from friends and family, or to control various aspects of their life. Gaslighting may increase, with the narcissist denying or minimizing their hurtful behaviors. The frequency and intensity of affectionate gestures may decrease, replaced by manipulative tactics to maintain control. If the partner expresses discomfort or tries to slow things down, the narcissist may respond with guilt-tripping or emotional blackmail.

How Does Narcissistic Love Bombing Differ From Other Forms Of Emotional Manipulation?

Narcissistic love bombing is distinct from other forms of emotional manipulation in several key ways. Psychology Today explains that while many manipulative tactics aim to control through negative means, love bombing initially uses overwhelmingly positive attention to create dependency. The intensity and speed of love bombing set it apart from more gradual forms of manipulation.

Unlike some manipulative behaviors that may be unconscious, love bombing is often a deliberate strategy employed by narcissists to quickly establish control. The cyclical nature of love bombing, followed by devaluation and discard, is also unique to narcissistic abuse. This cycle creates an addictive pattern of highs and lows that can be more psychologically damaging than consistent negative manipulation. Understanding these differences can help individuals better identify and protect themselves from narcissistic love bombing.

What Impact Does Narcissistic Love Bombing Have On Future Relationships?

The experience of narcissistic love bombing can have significant and lasting impacts on a person’s future relationships. Healthline discusses how survivors may develop trust issues and fear of intimacy in subsequent partnerships. The intense highs of the love bombing phase can create unrealistic expectations for future relationships, making normal, healthy love seem underwhelming in comparison.

Survivors might become hypervigilant, constantly looking for signs of manipulation or abuse in new partners. Some may struggle with setting boundaries, either becoming too guarded or too permissive based on their past experiences. The trauma from narcissistic abuse can also lead to attachment issues, anxiety, or depression that affect relationship dynamics. However, with awareness, therapy, and personal growth, many survivors are able to heal and form healthy, balanced relationships in the future.

How Do Digital Technologies Facilitate Narcissistic Love Bombing?

Digital technologies have significantly expanded the toolkit for narcissistic love bombing. The Conversation explores how social media, messaging apps, and other digital platforms enable narcissists to maintain constant contact with their targets, bombarding them with messages, likes, and comments. These technologies allow for love bombing to occur across distances and at all hours, intensifying its impact.

Digital gifts, such as online purchases or virtual tokens of affection, can be easily sent to create a false sense of generosity. Social media profiles can be used to create an idealized image of the relationship, gaining public validation and putting pressure on the partner. Additionally, digital technologies provide new avenues for monitoring and controlling a partner’s activities, further facilitating the manipulative aspects of love bombing.

What Are The Economic Implications Of Narcissistic Love Bombing?

The economic implications of narcissistic love bombing can be significant and far-reaching. Forbes discusses how love bombing often involves lavish spending on gifts, experiences, or financial support, which can create a sense of obligation in the recipient. This financial manipulation can lead to debt, as the narcissist may use money as a tool for control or to create dependency.

In some cases, the victim might be pressured to make joint financial commitments or investments, complicating their ability to leave the relationship. The economic impact can extend beyond the relationship itself, affecting career choices, savings, and long-term financial stability. Recovery from narcissistic abuse may involve financial rebuilding, potentially including therapy costs, legal fees if divorce is involved, or expenses related to establishing independence. Understanding these economic implications is crucial for protecting oneself and planning for financial security in the face of narcissistic love bombing.

How Does Narcissistic Love Bombing Manifest In Professional Settings?

Narcissistic love bombing can manifest in professional settings in various subtle and overt ways. Harvard Business Review explains that in the workplace, a narcissistic boss or colleague might use love bombing tactics to gain favor, manipulate team dynamics, or create a false sense of loyalty. This could involve excessive praise, promises of promotions or special treatment, or creating an “in-group” that excludes others.

About the Author :

Som Dutt, Top writer in Philosophy & Psychology on Medium.com. I make people Think, Relate, Feel & Move. Let's Embrace Inner Chaos and Appreciate Deep, Novel & Heavy Thoughts.

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