Last updated on May 1st, 2025 at 11:32 am
Divorcing a covert narcissist isn’t just about signing papers and attending court hearings—it’s navigating a psychological battlefield. Understanding how a covert narcissist behaves during divorce is crucial, as they’ll manipulate the narrative, exploit your emotions, and even misuse the legal system to keep you off balance.
Ever found yourself doubting your own reality? That’s gaslighting, a tactic they frequently employ. They may drag out proceedings indefinitely, draining your emotional and financial resources, or spread falsehoods to damage your reputation.
Even worse, they often use children as leverage, leaving you feeling powerless and heartbroken. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward reclaiming control and safeguarding your well-being.
Key Takeaways
Covert narcissists often deny facts during divorce. They may say they never got papers or act shocked. Knowing this trick helps you stay calm.
They play with emotions by acting like victims. They might tell lies to friends and family. Write down what happens to prove the truth.
They may try to make you feel guilty. They use your shared past to make you doubt your choice. Stay strong and focus on your happiness.
Covert narcissists might slow down the legal process. They could switch lawyers a lot or miss deadlines. Keep good records to deal with this.
They may hide money or say things are worth less to avoid paying. Work with money experts to find any hidden problems.
Kids might be used as tools to get information or control you. Set clear rules to keep your kids safe from adult issues.
After divorce, they might create problems to stay in touch. Don’t get involved in their drama. Stick to clear and simple communication.
Get help from people who understand narcissism. Therapy and legal advice can help you handle divorce challenges.
Initial Reactions To Divorce Filing By Covert Narcissist
When you file for divorce from a covert narcissist, their initial reactions can feel like a whirlwind of denial, shock, and manipulation. These responses often stem from their deep-seated need to maintain control and their inability to accept rejection. Let’s break down what you might encounter during this phase.
The Denial And Shock Response
Pretending To Not Have Received Divorce Papers
A covert narcissist might act as if the divorce papers never arrived. They could claim they didn’t receive them or that they were “lost in the mail.” This tactic isn’t just about stalling the process—it’s about refusing to acknowledge the reality of the situation. By doing this, they aim to keep you in a state of limbo, questioning whether the process will ever move forward.
They might “forget” to attend scheduled meetings or hearings, blaming external factors like work or health issues.
Some even go as far as accusing you of mishandling the paperwork, shifting the blame back onto you.
According to research by Reiter and Pollack (2022), covert narcissists often use dismissive comments like, “You’re overreacting,” to downplay the seriousness of the situation and maintain their facade of control.
Feigning Surprise Despite Prior Discussions
Even if you’ve had multiple conversations about divorce, a covert narcissist might act completely blindsided when you file. They’ll say things like, “I thought we were working things out,” or, “This came out of nowhere!” This feigned surprise is a calculated move to make you feel guilty and second-guess your decision.
They may bring up past moments of reconciliation, twisting them into evidence that the relationship was improving.
This reaction often leads to manipulative behaviors, such as making false promises to change or improve, just to delay the inevitable.
Psychological studies show that covert narcissists struggle with losing control, which is why they resort to these tactics. They see themselves as the dominant partner, and divorce threatens that illusion.
Victim Portrayal Tactics
Self-Pitying Narratives With Family And Friends
A covert narcissist knows how to play the victim card, and they’ll use it to their advantage. They might tell your mutual friends or family members that you’re being unreasonable or that you’ve “given up” on the relationship without trying. This narrative is designed to isolate you and make others question your motives.
Expect to hear phrases like, “I’ve done everything for them, and this is how they repay me.”
They may exaggerate their sacrifices in the relationship, painting themselves as the selfless partner who’s been wronged.
Portraying The Spouse As Unstable Or Unreasonable
To further solidify their victim status, a covert narcissist might start spreading rumors about your mental health or behavior. They’ll say things like, “They’ve been so erratic lately,” or, “I’m worried about their ability to make rational decisions.” This tactic not only damages your reputation but also shifts the focus away from their own actions.
They might even bring these claims into legal proceedings, attempting to undermine your credibility.
In my experience working with clients, I’ve seen covert narcissists use this strategy to gain sympathy from judges or mediators.
Proactive reputation management is crucial here. Keep a record of your interactions and maintain consistent, fact-based responses to counter their false narratives.
As you navigate these initial reactions, remember that their behavior is a reflection of their insecurities, not your worth. Recognizing these tactics can help you stay grounded and focused on your goals.
Emotional Manipulation Arsenal During Divorce
When divorcing a covert narcissist, emotional manipulation becomes their weapon of choice. They know how to push your buttons, twist your emotions, and keep you questioning your decisions. Let’s explore the tactics they use to keep you emotionally entangled during this challenging time.
Guilt-Inducing Communication Patterns
Leveraging Shared History And Memories
A covert narcissist will often bring up your shared past to make you feel guilty about ending the relationship. They’ll remind you of the “good times” and frame the divorce as a betrayal of everything you’ve built together. You might hear phrases like, “After all we’ve been through, how could you do this to me?” or “I thought we were stronger than this.”
They’ll cherry-pick moments that paint them as the ideal partner, conveniently ignoring the toxic behaviors that led to the divorce.
This tactic isn’t about reconciliation—it’s about keeping you emotionally tethered and second-guessing your decision.
Gaslighting often accompanies these guilt trips, making you doubt your reality. You might start questioning whether the relationship was as bad as you thought, even though the evidence says otherwise.
Threatening Self-Harm Or Making Health Claims
In some cases, a covert narcissist might escalate their manipulation by threatening self-harm or claiming sudden health issues. They’ll say things like, “I can’t live without you,” or “This divorce is making me sick.” These statements are designed to make you feel responsible for their well-being, even when their actions are entirely self-serving.
They may exaggerate or fabricate medical conditions to gain sympathy and delay the divorce process.
This tactic can be emotionally draining, leaving you feeling trapped and obligated to stay involved.
Psychological studies show that these threats often stem from their fear of losing control. By making you feel guilty, they regain a sense of power over the situation.
Silent Treatment And Intermittent Reinforcement
Withholding Communication About Critical Matters
Covert narcissists are masters of stonewalling. During divorce proceedings, they might refuse to discuss important issues like finances or custody arrangements. This silence isn’t accidental—it’s a calculated move to frustrate you and stall the process.
They’ll ignore emails, texts, or calls, forcing you to chase them for answers.
This tactic creates emotional barriers, making you feel isolated and powerless.
Prolonged exposure to stonewalling can lead to psychological damage, including emotional numbness and distorted reality. It’s a form of control that keeps you off balance and dependent on their cooperation.
Alternating Between Total Silence And Hyper-Engagement
Just when you think they’ve gone silent for good, a covert narcissist will suddenly flood you with messages, calls, or demands. This unpredictable behavior—known as intermittent reinforcement—keeps you emotionally hooked.
One day, they’ll act as if they don’t care about the divorce; the next, they’ll bombard you with pleas, accusations, or even charm.
This inconsistency creates anxiety and a desperate need for closure, which they use to maintain control.
Research shows that intermittent reinforcement activates neurological responses similar to addiction. The unpredictability of their affection fosters dependency, making it harder for you to detach emotionally.
As a therapist specializing in narcissism, I’ve seen these tactics play out time and again. Covert narcissists use emotional manipulation not just to stall the divorce but to keep you questioning your worth and decisions. Recognizing these behaviors is the first step toward breaking free and reclaiming your emotional independence.
Legal And Financial Manipulations By A Covert Narcissist
Divorcing a covert narcissist often feels like stepping into a legal and financial minefield. They use every trick in the book to delay proceedings, hide assets, and exhaust you emotionally and financially. Let’s break down their most common tactics and how they might impact you.
Procedural Delay Techniques
Repeatedly Changing Legal Representation
One of the most frustrating tactics covert narcissists use is frequently switching lawyers. They might fire their attorney mid-case or claim dissatisfaction with their representation. This constant turnover creates delays, forcing you to wait while they “get up to speed.” It’s not about finding the best lawyer—it’s about stalling the process and wearing you down.
You might notice them blaming their previous attorneys for “misunderstandings” or “mistakes.”
This tactic also increases your legal fees, as your lawyer has to respond to new motions or requests from their ever-changing team.
Tip: Keep detailed records of all communications and court deadlines. This documentation can help counteract their delay tactics.
Strategic Non-Compliance With Court Deadlines
Covert narcissists are masters of bending the rules without outright breaking them. They might miss court deadlines, submit incomplete paperwork, or request extensions at the last minute. These actions frustrate you and slow down the divorce process.
They may claim they “didn’t understand” the requirements or blame external factors like work or health issues.
This behavior isn’t accidental—it’s a calculated move to keep you stuck in limbo.
According to studies, narcissists often exploit procedural rules to provoke frustration and gain an upper hand. Their goal is to make you feel powerless and desperate to settle on their terms.
Hiding Assets And Financial Deception
Transferring Funds To Hidden Accounts
Covert narcissists often start hiding assets long before divorce proceedings begin. They might transfer money to secret accounts, gift large sums to friends or family, or even create shell companies to obscure their financial trail. These actions make it harder for you to get a fair settlement.
Financial Deception Tactic | Warning Signs | Countermeasure |
|---|---|---|
Hidden income streams | Lifestyle inconsistent with reported income | Forensic accounting |
Asset concealment | Missing documentation for known assets | Asset discovery process |
Deliberate debt creation | New credit accounts or increased debt | Credit monitoring |
Note: A forensic accountant can be invaluable in uncovering hidden assets. They specialize in identifying discrepancies between reported finances and actual resources.
Undervaluing Business Interests And Properties
If your spouse owns a business or significant property, they might try to undervalue these assets. They could manipulate financial records, downplay the profitability of their business, or claim that certain properties are worth less than their actual market value.
For example, they might suddenly report a “decline in revenue” or claim that a property needs extensive repairs.
These tactics aim to reduce the amount they owe you in the settlement.
A study by Reiter and Pollack (2022) highlights how covert narcissists use financial deception to maintain control. They see the divorce as a game, and hiding assets is just another way to “win.”
Tip: Work with a qualified appraiser or financial expert to ensure all assets are accurately valued. Don’t rely on their word—verify everything.
As you navigate these manipulations, remember that their behavior reflects their need for control, not your worth. By staying informed and seeking professional support, you can protect yourself and secure a fair outcome.
Financial Warfare Tactics Of Covert Narcissist
When divorcing a covert narcissist, financial warfare often becomes their go-to strategy. They’ll manipulate income, exploit legal loopholes, and create chaos to maintain control or punish you. Let’s break down how these tactics unfold and what you can do to protect yourself.
Income Manipulation Methods
Creating Artificial Financial Hardship
Ever notice how your spouse suddenly claims they’re broke? Covert narcissists often create artificial financial hardship to avoid fair settlements. They might quit their job, reduce their work hours, or even fabricate debts. This isn’t about genuine financial struggles—it’s a calculated move to minimize their obligations.
They may say things like, “I can’t afford child support,” while secretly funneling money into hidden accounts.
Some even go as far as taking out unnecessary loans to make their financial situation look worse than it is.
This tactic leaves you scrambling to prove their true financial standing. Hiring a forensic accountant can help uncover discrepancies and ensure you get what you’re entitled to.
Career Sabotage And Income Manipulation
A covert narcissist might also sabotage their own career to manipulate income. They could intentionally underperform at work, decline promotions, or even get themselves fired. Why? To reduce their financial responsibilities during the divorce.
For example, they might claim, “I lost my job because of the stress you caused,” shifting blame onto you.
In some cases, they’ll switch to cash-only jobs or freelance work to hide their earnings.
This behavior isn’t just frustrating—it’s infuriating. But remember, their actions are about control, not reality. Document everything and work with your legal team to expose these tactics.
Exploiting Legal Loopholes For Financial Gain
Refusing To Pay Court-Ordered Support
Even after a court orders them to pay alimony or child support, a covert narcissist might refuse to comply. They’ll delay payments, make partial payments, or skip them altogether. This isn’t just about money—it’s about keeping you tied to them.
They might say, “I’ll pay when I can,” while living a lifestyle that clearly contradicts their claims.
Some even use non-payment as leverage, forcing you to negotiate on their terms.
Tip: Keep a record of missed payments and report them to the court. Judges don’t take kindly to non-compliance, and you can request enforcement actions like wage garnishment.
Continuing To Fight Over Marital Property
A covert narcissist rarely lets go of marital property without a fight. They’ll drag out disputes over assets, even when the division seems straightforward. This tactic isn’t about fairness—it’s about exhausting you emotionally and financially.
They might file endless motions, dispute valuations, or claim sentimental attachment to items they don’t even care about.
In some cases, they’ll demand assets they know you value, just to hurt you.
Here’s the kicker: they often exploit the legal system to their advantage. Studies show that covert narcissists use tactics like filing excessive motions and delays to financially drain their ex-partners. They see the divorce as a game, and every delay is a win for them.
Note: Stay focused on your goals. Don’t let their antics distract you from what truly matters—your financial stability and peace of mind.
Divorcing a covert narcissist isn’t just a legal process; it’s a psychological battle. Their financial warfare tactics are designed to wear you down, but you don’t have to face it alone. With the right support and strategies, you can protect yourself and come out stronger on the other side.
Child-Related Manipulation Schemes During Divorce
When divorcing a covert narcissist, children often become pawns in their manipulation game. They exploit the emotional vulnerability of kids to maintain control or punish you. This behavior can leave you feeling helpless, but understanding their tactics can help you protect your children and yourself.
Parental Alienation Techniques
Subtly Undermining The Other Parent’s Authority
Covert narcissists thrive on control, and one way they achieve this is by subtly eroding your authority as a parent. They might make offhand comments like, “Your mom/dad is always so strict,” or, “I wouldn’t make you do that if you lived with me.” These remarks seem harmless at first but can plant seeds of doubt in your child’s mind.
They may encourage your child to break rules you’ve set, framing themselves as the “fun” parent.
Over time, this behavior can create confusion and resentment, making it harder for you to maintain boundaries.
Children need consistency and structure to thrive. When a covert narcissist undermines your authority, it disrupts their sense of stability. Setting firm, court-enforceable parenting plans can help mitigate this issue.
Rewriting The Marital History To Children
A covert narcissist often rewrites the past to paint themselves as the victim and you as the villain. They might tell your children, “I tried everything to keep our family together, but your mom/dad didn’t care.” This narrative shifts blame and creates an “us versus them” dynamic.
Technique | Description |
|---|---|
Badmouthing | Speaking negatively about you to the child. |
Accusations | Claiming you’re unloving or dangerous. |
Sharing disputes | Discussing custody or financial issues with the child. |
Restricting visitation | Limiting your contact with the child. |
Defamation | Making negative statements about you in front of authorities or others. |
These tactics not only damage your relationship with your child but also create emotional stress for them. Kids shouldn’t have to navigate adult conflicts—they deserve to feel loved and supported by both parents.
Using Children As Leverage During Divorce
Using Children As Information Gatherers
A covert narcissist might use your children to spy on you. They’ll ask questions like, “What did Mom/Dad say about me?” or, “Who was at the house today?” This puts your child in an uncomfortable position, forcing them to choose sides.
They may reward the child for sharing information, creating a loyalty bind.
This behavior can lead to anxiety and guilt in children, as they feel torn between their parents.
As a therapist, I’ve seen how this tactic can harm a child’s emotional well-being. It’s crucial to reassure your kids that they don’t need to take sides or report back to anyone.
Involving Children In Adult Conflicts
Covert narcissists often drag children into disputes, using them as messengers or emotional buffers. They might say, “Tell your mom/dad I can’t afford child support this month,” or, “Ask them why they’re being so difficult.” This forces your child to mediate, which is unfair and damaging.
Kids may feel responsible for resolving conflicts they don’t understand.
Over time, this can lead to emotional exhaustion and strained relationships.
Narcissistic parents often use tactics similar to cult leaders, such as withdrawing love or creating loyalty binds. These methods foster dependency and reinforce negative perceptions of the other parent. Protecting your child from these dynamics requires vigilance and proactive measures.
Remember, your child’s well-being comes first. Establish clear boundaries and communicate through appropriate channels, like lawyers or mediators, to keep them out of adult issues.
Children deserve to grow up in a safe, supportive environment, free from manipulation. By recognizing these tactics and taking steps to counteract them, you can shield your kids from unnecessary harm and help them develop healthy relationships.
Social Network Manipulation By Covert Narcissist
When divorcing a covert narcissist, you might feel like the entire world is suddenly against you. That’s because they often manipulate social networks to control the narrative and isolate you. Whether it’s spreading lies or using mutual friends as pawns, their tactics can leave you feeling cornered. Let’s break down how they do it and how you can protect yourself.
Smear Campaign Orchestration
Controlling The Divorce Narrative To Friends And Family
Have you noticed your friends or family acting distant or questioning your decisions? That’s likely because the covert narcissist has already started spinning their version of the story. They’ll frame themselves as the victim, claiming you’re the one who’s unreasonable or unstable. This isn’t just about saving face—it’s about turning others against you.
They might say things like, “I’ve tried everything to make this work, but they just won’t listen,” or, “I’m worried about their mental health.”
By planting these seeds of doubt, they aim to isolate you from your support system.
Covert narcissists often make false claims about their ex-partner’s mental health, alleging severe conditions to undermine their credibility. In extreme cases, they may even file for restraining orders based on fabricated accusations, like stalking or threats. These actions can have serious consequences, including reduced custody rights.
Spreading False Narratives To Damage Your Reputation
A covert narcissist doesn’t stop at twisting the truth—they’ll outright fabricate stories to tarnish your reputation. They might accuse you of infidelity, financial irresponsibility, or even abusive behavior. These lies are designed to make you look like the villain while they play the victim.
Expect them to share these falsehoods with anyone who will listen, from mutual friends to coworkers.
They may even use social media to amplify their narrative, posting vague but damaging statements like, “Some people just don’t know how to appreciate what they have.”
Studies show that covert narcissists often engage in blame-shifting, redirecting responsibility for issues onto their partners. They also seek sympathy from authority figures, portraying themselves as victims to gain an advantage in legal disputes.
Triangulation With Mutual Connections
Recruiting Allies To Monitor Ex-Spouse
Ever feel like someone’s keeping tabs on you? That’s not paranoia—it’s triangulation. Covert narcissists often recruit mutual friends or acquaintances to act as their eyes and ears. They’ll ask these “allies” to report back on your activities, creating a network of informants.
They might say things like, “I’m just worried about them. Can you let me know if you hear anything concerning?”
This tactic isn’t about genuine concern—it’s about maintaining control and gathering ammunition against you.
Partners may also use mutual friends to relay messages, exemplifying modern triangulation tactics. For example, they might ask a friend to casually mention something you said or did, keeping you on edge.
Using Third Parties To Deliver Messages
Instead of communicating directly, a covert narcissist might use third parties to pass along their messages. This could be a mutual friend, a family member, or even your child. It’s a way to avoid accountability while still exerting influence.
For instance, they might tell a mutual friend, “Can you let them know I’m willing to compromise on custody?” only to later deny ever saying it.
This creates confusion and keeps you guessing about their true intentions.
Covert narcissists also manipulate mutual connections by spreading rumors or engaging in direct harassment. They may even create artificial love triangles to stir up drama and keep you emotionally entangled.
Social network manipulation is one of the most insidious tactics covert narcissists use during divorce. By controlling the narrative and exploiting mutual connections, they aim to isolate you and maintain power. But remember, their behavior reflects their insecurities, not your worth. Stay grounded, document everything, and lean on trusted allies who truly have your back.
Post-Divorce Control Mechanisms
Even after the divorce is finalized, a covert narcissist often refuses to let go of control. They may use subtle, yet damaging, tactics to keep you emotionally entangled or disrupt your life. Let’s explore how these behaviors manifest and what you can do to protect yourself.
Co-Parenting Sabotage Tactics
Inconsistent Rule Enforcement Between Households
Does it feel like your child is living in two completely different worlds? Covert narcissists often undermine co-parenting by enforcing inconsistent rules in their household. For example, they might allow your child to stay up late, skip homework, or eat junk food—things you’ve explicitly discouraged. This tactic isn’t about parenting; it’s about making you look like the “strict” or “unreasonable” parent.
They might say things like, “You don’t have to do that here,” or, “Your mom/dad is too controlling.”
Over time, this creates confusion for your child and makes it harder for you to maintain boundaries.
Tip: Stick to a child-centered approach. Focus on what’s best for your child, and document any behaviors that disrupt their well-being. Courts often prioritize consistency and stability in parenting plans.
Last-Minute Changes To Agreed Arrangements
Imagine planning your weekend around your child’s visit, only to get a last-minute text saying, “Plans have changed.” Covert narcissists thrive on creating chaos, and they’ll often make sudden changes to custody schedules or visitation plans. This isn’t just inconvenient—it’s a deliberate attempt to disrupt your life and maintain control.
They might cancel visits without notice or demand changes that suit their schedule, not yours.
These actions can leave you scrambling to adjust, emotionally drained, and feeling powerless.
Common Behaviors | Impact on You |
|---|---|
Canceling visits last minute | Creates stress and disrupts your plans. |
Demanding schedule changes | Forces you to accommodate their needs, even at your expense. |
Ignoring agreed-upon arrangements | Undermines the stability and predictability your child needs. |
Note: Keep detailed records of all schedule changes and communication. This documentation can be invaluable if you need to revisit custody arrangements in court.
Maintaining Control Through Ongoing Manipulation
Periodic Friendly Overtures To Maintain Access
Ever receive a random, overly friendly message from your ex? Something like, “I hope you’re doing well. Let me know if you need anything.” At first glance, it might seem harmless—or even kind. But with a covert narcissist, these gestures often come with strings attached. They’re not reaching out to reconnect; they’re testing the waters to see if they can still influence you.
They might offer help with something, only to later use it as leverage.
These overtures can make you question whether they’ve truly changed, pulling you back into their web.
Reminder: Setting clear boundaries is essential. Respond politely but firmly, and avoid engaging in unnecessary conversations. This helps you maintain emotional distance.
Creating Crisis Situations Requiring Contact
Covert narcissists are experts at manufacturing drama. After the divorce, they might create “emergencies” that force you to interact with them. For instance, they could claim there’s an issue with your child’s health or education—something urgent that demands your immediate attention. These crises are often exaggerated or fabricated to keep you engaged.
They might say, “Our child is struggling in school because of your parenting decisions,” shifting blame onto you.
This tactic keeps you emotionally invested and gives them an excuse to maintain contact.
Key Insight: Narcissists thrive on control and conflict. By refusing to engage in their manufactured crises, you deny them the emotional reaction they seek. Stick to factual, child-focused communication through email or a co-parenting app.
Why These Tactics Work
Covert narcissists use these post-divorce strategies to maintain power and control. They rely on manipulation techniques like gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional withdrawal to keep you off balance. Studies show that setting boundaries and focusing on your own well-being are critical to breaking free from their influence.
Gaslighting: They twist reality to make you doubt your perceptions.
Guilt-Tripping: They make you feel selfish for prioritizing your needs.
Emotional Withdrawal: They punish you by withholding affection or communication.
Takeaway: You’re not alone in this struggle. Many people face similar challenges when divorcing a covert narcissist. By staying informed and seeking support, you can regain control and protect your peace of mind.
Divorcing a covert narcissist is no walk in the park. It’s emotionally draining, legally complex, and often feels like an uphill battle. But here’s the good news—you can protect yourself and come out stronger. Start by gathering solid evidence. Document every interaction, financial transaction, and parenting issue. This isn’t just about being prepared; it’s about staying one step ahead.
Conclusion
Lean on professionals who’ve seen it all. Attorneys specializing in high-conflict divorces and therapists who understand covert narcissism can be game-changers. They’ll guide you through the chaos and help you stay grounded. And don’t forget to set firm boundaries. Whether it’s communication or co-parenting, clear limits can save your sanity.
Most importantly, take care of your emotional health. Therapy, support groups, or even just talking to someone who gets it can make all the difference. Remember, you’re not alone in this. With the right strategies and support, you can navigate how a covert narcissist behaves during divorce and move forward with confidence.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What makes divorcing a covert narcissist so challenging?
Covert narcissists thrive on control and manipulation. During divorce, they use tactics like gaslighting, emotional manipulation, and financial deception to keep you off balance. Their subtle, calculated behaviors make it harder to recognize their true intentions, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your decisions.
How can I protect myself from their manipulative tactics?
Document everything. Keep records of communication, financial transactions, and parenting interactions. Use email or co-parenting apps to minimize direct contact. Seek support from a therapist or attorney experienced in high-conflict divorces. Staying organized and emotionally grounded helps you counter their strategies effectively.
Why do covert narcissists use children as leverage?
Children become tools for control. Covert narcissists may undermine your authority, rewrite marital history, or involve kids in adult conflicts. These actions aren’t about love—they’re about maintaining power over you. Protect your children by setting firm boundaries and keeping them out of disputes.
Can therapy help when divorcing a covert narcissist?
Absolutely. Therapy provides emotional support and coping strategies. A skilled therapist can help you recognize manipulation, rebuild your confidence, and navigate the psychological toll of the divorce. It’s also a safe space to process your feelings and regain your sense of self.
What should I do if they refuse to follow court orders?
Report non-compliance immediately. Courts take violations seriously, especially regarding child support or custody. Keep detailed records of missed payments or broken agreements. Your attorney can request enforcement actions, like wage garnishment, to ensure accountability.
How do I handle their smear campaigns?
Stay calm and stick to the facts. Don’t engage in their drama or try to defend yourself to everyone. Focus on building your own support system of trusted friends and family. Over time, their lies often unravel, revealing their true nature to others.
Is it possible to co-parent with a covert narcissist?
Co-parenting with a covert narcissist is tough but not impossible. Use structured parenting plans and communicate only through written channels. Avoid emotional discussions and focus solely on your child’s needs. Consistency and boundaries are your best tools.
How can I rebuild my life after divorcing a covert narcissist?
Start by prioritizing self-care. Reconnect with hobbies, friends, and activities that bring you joy. Therapy or support groups can help you process the trauma and rebuild your confidence. Remember, healing takes time, but you’re stronger than you think.