Have you ever noticed how some people seem to take even the slightest critique as a personal attack? For a covert narcissist, this isn’t just a personality quirk—it’s a deep-seated struggle rooted in extreme interpersonal sensitivity to criticism. Their fragile self-esteem and constant need for validation often make them overly reactive to feedback, interpreting even neutral comments as threats to their worth.
Why does this happen? Research shows that individuals with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) often grapple with profound insecurities. Covert narcissists, in particular, rely heavily on external validation to mask their feelings of inadequacy. This reliance heightens their sensitivity, causing them to misinterpret constructive criticism as rejection or judgment.
Recognizing this dynamic can help you navigate these interactions with greater understanding. Ultimately, their extreme interpersonal sensitivity to criticism isn’t about you—it’s a reflection of their internal struggle.
Key Takeaways
Covert narcissists often see criticism as a personal attack.
They have low self-esteem, which makes them feel hurt easily.
They struggle to control emotions and overreact to feedback.
This overreaction can make them feel stressed and overwhelmed.
They may think neutral comments are negative due to their mindset.
Childhood experiences, like strict parents, can cause their shame.
These experiences also make them extra sensitive to criticism.
To handle criticism, they might avoid others or act like victims.
Knowing this can help you respond with kindness and set limits.
Their sensitivity is about their own struggles, not about you.
When giving feedback, be gentle and focus on actions, not traits.
Psychological Mechanisms Behind Covert Narcissist Hypersensitivity To Criticism
Emotional Regulation Deficits
Struggles With Managing Negative Emotions
Have you ever wondered why covert narcissists seem to overreact to even the smallest critique? It’s not just a personality quirk—it’s a sign of emotional regulation deficits. Covert narcissists often struggle to process negative emotions in a healthy way. Instead of calmly reflecting on feedback, they experience what psychologists call “emotional flooding.” This means their emotions—like shame, anger, or fear—become so overwhelming that they can’t think clearly.
Studies show that covert narcissists often perceive criticism as a threat to their identity. This fear of exposure makes it nearly impossible for them to integrate feedback constructively. Instead, they react defensively or withdraw entirely.
For example, a covert narcissist might interpret a simple suggestion at work as a personal attack, leading to feelings of humiliation or even silent resentment.
Heightened Reactivity To Perceived Slights
Covert narcissists don’t just feel criticism—they feel it intensely. Even neutral comments can trigger a cascade of negative emotions. Research has found that criticism can cause physiological stress responses in narcissistic individuals, such as increased heart rate and elevated cortisol levels. This heightened reactivity isn’t just about the words being said; it’s about how those words are interpreted.
Imagine telling a covert narcissist, “You could try doing this differently next time.” Instead of hearing a helpful suggestion, they might think, “They think I’m incompetent.” This extreme interpersonal sensitivity to criticism stems from their fragile self-esteem. They’re constantly on guard, scanning for signs of rejection or judgment, which makes even minor feedback feel like a major slight.
Cognitive Distortions
Interpreting Neutral Feedback As Criticism
Covert narcissists often view the world through a distorted lens. Neutral feedback, which most people would take in stride, feels like a personal attack to them. This is due to cognitive distortions—patterns of thinking that twist reality. For instance, they might engage in personalization, assuming that feedback is less about the situation and more about their flaws.
Research highlights how covert narcissists process feedback through these distortions. They might neutralize threatening information by blaming others or catastrophize minor critiques, turning them into evidence of their inadequacy. This distorted thinking amplifies their hypersensitivity and fuels defensive responses.
Dichotomous Thinking About Self-Worth
For covert narcissists, self-worth is an all-or-nothing game. They see themselves as either perfect or worthless, with no middle ground. This black-and-white thinking, known as dichotomous thinking, makes criticism feel like total condemnation. If they’re not perfect, they believe they’re a failure.
A study on narcissism and self-perception found that narcissists often overestimate their abilities, such as academic performance. When reality doesn’t match their inflated self-view, it creates a painful gap. Criticism widens this gap, triggering feelings of shame and inadequacy. This explains why covert narcissists react so strongly to even the gentlest feedback—they’re fighting to protect their fragile sense of self.
The Shame-Based Core Of Hypersensitivity
The Role Of Toxic Shame In Narcissistic Development
Early Attachment Disruptions And Shame Formation
Have you ever wondered why covert narcissists seem so sensitive to criticism? It often starts in childhood. When children grow up in environments where their emotional needs aren’t met, they may develop a deep sense of shame. This isn’t just about feeling bad for doing something wrong—it’s about feeling like they are wrong. For covert narcissists, this shame becomes the foundation of their hypersensitivity.
Research shows that early attachment disruptions play a huge role here. For example, if a caregiver is overly critical or emotionally unavailable, the child might internalize the belief that they’re unworthy of love. Over time, this shame festers, shaping how they see themselves and others. Instead of developing a secure sense of self, they build walls to protect their fragile ego. But those walls don’t erase the shame—they just hide it.
The Internalization Of External Standards
As a covert narcissist grows, they often start measuring their worth by external standards. Maybe they were praised only when they achieved something or met impossible expectations. Over time, they learn to equate their value with how others perceive them. This creates a constant need for validation and a fear of falling short.
Studies like those by Miller et al. (2011) and Freis et al. (2015) highlight how shame becomes intertwined with narcissistic traits. These individuals often feel trapped between their internalized shame and the pressure to appear perfect. It’s like they’re wearing a mask, terrified someone might see what’s underneath. This fear makes even mild criticism feel like a threat to their entire identity.
Study | Findings |
|---|---|
Miller et al. (2011) | Explores the link between narcissism and emotional responses like shame. |
Krizan and Johar (2015) | Shows how shame-proneness drives aggression in vulnerable narcissists. |
Freis et al. (2015) | Finds a strong connection between vulnerable narcissism and shame. |
Wright et al. (1989) | Discusses how grandiose narcissists suppress emotions like shame. |
Internalized Inadequacy
Deep-Seated Feelings Of Shame And Inferiority
At their core, covert narcissists often feel deeply inadequate. They might not show it, but inside, they’re battling feelings of inferiority. This stems from years of internalizing shame and believing they’re not good enough. Even when they achieve something, it doesn’t erase those feelings—it just temporarily masks them.
Imagine someone who constantly doubts their worth but hides it behind a calm exterior. That’s the covert narcissist. They might seem composed, but underneath, they’re bracing for the next blow to their fragile self-esteem. This is why they react so strongly to criticism—it pokes at wounds they’ve spent years trying to cover up.
Overcompensation Through Covert Self-Aggrandizement
To cope with these feelings of inadequacy, covert narcissists often overcompensate. They might not boast openly like grandiose narcissists, but they still find subtle ways to elevate themselves. Maybe they drop hints about their accomplishments or seek sympathy to feel validated. It’s a quieter form of self-aggrandizement, but it serves the same purpose: protecting their ego.
This overcompensation can make their hypersensitivity even worse. When you criticize them, it feels like you’re tearing down the image they’ve worked so hard to build. It’s not just about the words you say—it’s about what those words represent to them. They’re fighting to maintain the façade they’ve created, even if it’s exhausting.
The Paradoxical Nature Of Covert Narcissistic Sensitivity
The Inner Conflict Between Grandiosity And Vulnerability
Hidden Superiority Versus External Presentation
Have you ever met someone who seems humble on the outside but secretly believes they’re better than everyone else? That’s the paradox of a covert narcissist. They often present themselves as modest or even self-effacing, but beneath the surface, they harbor fantasies of superiority.
This hidden grandiosity isn’t just a quirk—it’s a defense mechanism. It helps them cope with their deep insecurities by creating an internal narrative where they’re exceptional, even if no one else sees it.
Clinical observations reveal that this duality—grandiosity and vulnerability—defines covert narcissistic sensitivity. On one hand, they crave recognition and validation. On the other, they fear exposure of their flaws. This push-and-pull creates a constant inner conflict.
For example, a covert narcissist might downplay their achievements in public but secretly feel resentful when others don’t acknowledge their efforts. It’s like they’re wearing a mask, hiding their true feelings while desperately wanting someone to notice what’s underneath.
The Fragile Ego Beneath The Quiet Facade
Despite their outward calm, covert narcissists have incredibly fragile egos. Criticism, even when constructive, feels like a direct attack on their worth. Why? Because their self-esteem is built on shaky ground. They’ve spent years suppressing feelings of inadequacy, and any negative feedback threatens to bring those feelings to the surface.
Imagine a house of cards—carefully constructed but easily toppled. That’s how their ego works. They might seem composed, but inside, they’re bracing for the next gust of wind. This fragility explains why they react so strongly to criticism. It’s not just about the words you say; it’s about the deep wounds those words reopen.
The Psychological Defense Structure
False Self Protection And Identity Preservation
To protect their fragile sense of self, covert narcissists create what psychologists call a “false self.” This false self is like a suit of armor—it shields them from criticism and helps them maintain their idealized self-image. But here’s the catch: it’s exhausting to keep up. They have to constantly curate how others see them, which leaves little room for authenticity.
Research highlights how this false self operates. For instance, covert narcissists often appear modest while secretly fantasizing about recognition. This duality allows them to deflect criticism while clinging to their grandiose self-image. It’s a delicate balancing act, and when it falters, their hypersensitivity to criticism kicks into overdrive.
Evidence Description | Source |
|---|---|
Covert narcissists create a false self that appears modest while harboring fantasies of recognition. This false self acts as both a shield and a weapon. | |
Research indicates that this psychological construction helps protect their grandiose self-image while appearing humble. | Semantic Scholar |
Covert narcissists frequently use projection to externalize insecurities, which helps maintain their idealized self-image. |
Idealization-Devaluation Cycles In Self-Perception
Covert narcissists often swing between two extremes in how they see themselves. One moment, they’re idealizing their abilities, convincing themselves they’re exceptional. The next, they’re devaluing themselves, feeling like complete failures. This cycle isn’t just confusing for them—it’s exhausting.
Projection plays a big role here. When they feel inadequate, they might accuse others of the very flaws they fear in themselves. For example, if they’re worried about being incompetent, they might criticize a coworker for being unqualified. This defense mechanism helps them avoid confronting their own insecurities, but it also perpetuates their hypersensitivity. The more they project, the more fragile their self-esteem becomes, creating a vicious cycle.
Tip: If you’re dealing with a covert narcissist, remember that their extreme interpersonal sensitivity to criticism isn’t about you. It’s a reflection of their internal struggles.
How Hypersensitivity Manifests In Covert Narcissists
Verbal Responses
Defensive Or Argumentative Reactions
When you criticize a covert narcissist, even gently, their words might surprise you. Instead of calmly discussing the issue, they often respond with defensiveness or even subtle arguments. This isn’t because they want to pick a fight—it’s their way of protecting themselves. Their fragile self-esteem makes them feel like every critique is an attack on their worth.
For example, if you point out a mistake they made, they might say, “Well, I only did that because you didn’t explain it clearly.” This deflection shifts the blame away from them and onto you. Research shows that covert narcissists often use denial or reversal to avoid accountability. They may also twist the conversation, making you feel like the bad guy for bringing up the issue in the first place.
Subtle Self-Victimization In Conversations
Another common verbal response is self-victimization. Covert narcissists have a knack for turning criticism into an opportunity to gain sympathy. Instead of addressing the feedback, they might say something like, “I guess I can’t do anything right,” or “Everyone’s always against me.” These statements aren’t just random—they’re calculated to make you feel guilty for criticizing them.
Studies reveal that covert narcissists often position themselves as victims to avoid taking responsibility. This tactic not only deflects the focus from their flaws but also manipulates others into reassuring them. It’s a way of maintaining their sense of control while masking their extreme interpersonal sensitivity to criticism.
Nonverbal And Somatic Responses
Withdrawal Or Avoidance Behaviors
Sometimes, a covert narcissist won’t say much at all. Instead, they’ll withdraw or avoid the situation entirely. Have you ever noticed someone suddenly going silent after a tough conversation? That’s a classic covert narcissist move. They might stop responding to your messages, avoid eye contact, or even physically leave the room.
This behavior isn’t just about avoiding conflict—it’s a defense mechanism. By withdrawing, they protect themselves from further criticism and regain a sense of control. Experts note that this silent treatment often serves as a form of passive-aggressive punishment, leaving you feeling confused or even guilty for bringing up the issue.
Physical Signs Of Stress And Psychosomatic Symptoms
Criticism doesn’t just affect a covert narcissist emotionally—it can take a physical toll too. You might notice them fidgeting, avoiding eye contact, or even showing signs of stress like sweating or a flushed face. These reactions aren’t always intentional. Their heightened sensitivity to criticism triggers a stress response, making it hard for them to hide their discomfort.
In some cases, this stress can manifest as psychosomatic symptoms. They might complain of headaches, stomachaches, or fatigue after a difficult conversation. Research highlights how covert narcissists internalize feelings of inadequacy, which can lead to these physical symptoms. It’s their body’s way of expressing the emotional turmoil they’re trying to suppress.
Note: If you’re dealing with a covert narcissist, remember that their reactions—whether verbal or nonverbal—are more about their internal struggles than your words. Understanding this can help you approach these situations with empathy and patience.
Defensive Strategies Covert Narcissists Use When Criticized
Silent Treatment And Strategic Withdrawal
Withdrawing Communication To Punish The Critic
Have you ever been met with complete silence after giving someone feedback? Covert narcissists often use the silent treatment as a way to punish and control. When criticized, they may suddenly stop responding to texts, avoid eye contact, or even leave the room. This isn’t just about avoiding conflict—it’s a calculated move to make you feel guilty or desperate for their attention.
The silent treatment works because it creates emotional confusion. You might find yourself questioning what you did wrong or trying harder to “fix” the situation. Studies show that this tactic activates brain areas linked to physical pain, which explains why it feels so distressing. Covert narcissists rely on this strategy to regain power in the relationship while avoiding any accountability for their actions.
Note: If you’re dealing with this behavior, remember it’s not about you. It’s their way of protecting their fragile self-esteem.
Covert Sabotage And Delayed Revenge
Sometimes, the response to criticism isn’t immediate. Covert narcissists may engage in covert sabotage or delayed revenge. For example, they might “accidentally” forget to complete a task you asked for or subtly undermine your efforts in a group project. These actions are often subtle enough to leave you wondering if they were intentional.
This strategy allows them to express their anger without direct confrontation. It’s their way of “getting even” while maintaining their outward appearance of calmness. Research highlights how covert narcissists use these tactics to avoid feelings of inadequacy while shifting the focus away from their flaws. It’s a passive-aggressive way to regain control and protect their ego.
Deflection And Projection
Shifting Blame Or Changing The Subject
When criticized, covert narcissists rarely take responsibility. Instead, they deflect by shifting the blame or changing the subject entirely. For instance, if you point out a mistake, they might respond with, “Well, you didn’t explain it clearly,” or “Why are you always so critical of me?” This tactic redirects the conversation, making it about your behavior instead of theirs.
Deflection serves two purposes: it protects their self-image and keeps them from confronting their insecurities. Studies show that covert narcissists struggle with emotional fragility, making it difficult for them to accept responsibility. By shifting the blame, they avoid the discomfort of facing their own flaws.
Accusing Others Of The Flaws They Fear In Themselves
Projection is another common defense mechanism. Covert narcissists often accuse others of the very traits they fear in themselves. For example, if they’re worried about being seen as incompetent, they might call you “unorganized” or “unprepared.” This tactic not only deflects attention from their insecurities but also creates self-doubt in you.
Research reveals that projection helps covert narcissists externalize their internal shame. By attributing their negative traits to others, they can maintain their idealized self-image. It’s a way of saying, “The problem isn’t me—it’s you.” This behavior can leave you feeling confused and questioning your own actions, which is exactly what they want.
Tip: If you notice this pattern, remind yourself that their accusations often reflect their own fears and insecurities.
The Façade Maintenance Imperative
Impression Management Strategies
The Exhausting Work Of Projecting A Curated Image
Have you ever felt like someone was trying too hard to appear perfect? Covert narcissists live this reality daily. They carefully curate how others see them, crafting an image of humility, competence, or even victimhood. But this constant effort to maintain a façade is exhausting. It’s like running a marathon where the finish line keeps moving.
This need to control perceptions stems from their deep fear of rejection. They’ll often use subtle manipulation to ensure their image stays intact. For example, they might downplay their achievements in public while fishing for compliments.
Or they’ll position themselves as the “underdog” to gain sympathy. These tactics aren’t random—they’re calculated moves to keep others from seeing their vulnerabilities.
Evidence Description | Explanation |
|---|---|
Covert narcissists create toxic environments through subtle manipulation tactics. | Their façade contributes to workplace dysfunction, emphasizing the importance of impression management. |
They position themselves as victims to manipulate dynamics. | Maintaining a humble appearance allows them to control perceptions and avoid accountability. |
Their indirect approaches maintain a façade of reasonableness. | Impression management is crucial for their manipulative strategies to go undetected. |
They appear humble while seeking validation, reinforcing the need for a façade. |
This constant performance takes a toll. Imagine trying to juggle multiple roles—friend, coworker, partner—while hiding your true self. It’s no wonder covert narcissists often feel drained. But for them, the fear of exposure outweighs the cost of maintaining the act.
Fear Of Exposure As Fundamentally Flawed
What happens if the mask slips? For a covert narcissist, this is their worst nightmare. They live in constant fear that someone will see through their carefully constructed façade and uncover their insecurities. This fear drives their hypersensitivity to criticism. Even a small comment can feel like a spotlight shining on their flaws.
This fear isn’t just about embarrassment—it’s about survival. In their minds, exposure equals rejection. They’ve spent years building walls to protect their fragile self-esteem. When those walls are threatened, they react defensively, often lashing out or withdrawing. It’s not about the critique itself; it’s about what it represents—a risk to their identity.
Perfectionism As A Shield Against Criticism
Impossible Standards As Preemptive Defense
Have you ever met someone who sets impossibly high standards for themselves? Covert narcissists often use perfectionism as a shield. By striving for flawlessness, they try to preempt criticism. If they’re perfect, no one can point out their flaws—or so they believe.
This perfectionism isn’t about self-improvement. It’s about self-protection. They might spend hours obsessing over minor details or avoid tasks altogether for fear of failure. In their minds, anything less than perfect is unacceptable. But this mindset creates a vicious cycle. The more they strive for perfection, the more they fear falling short, which only heightens their sensitivity to feedback.
Self-Deprecation As A Shield To Preempt External Critique
Here’s a twist: sometimes, covert narcissists criticize themselves before anyone else can. This self-deprecation isn’t genuine humility—it’s a strategy. By pointing out their own flaws, they disarm others. It’s like saying, “You can’t hurt me if I hurt myself first.”
For example, they might say, “I’m terrible at this,” hoping you’ll respond with reassurance. This tactic not only protects their ego but also shifts the focus away from their insecurities. It’s a clever way to maintain control while appearing vulnerable. But beneath the surface, it’s just another layer of their façade.
Tip: If you notice someone constantly putting themselves down, ask yourself why. It might be more about managing perceptions than genuine self-doubt.
Role Of Early Childhood Experiences In Shaping Hypersensitivity
Parental Criticism And High Expectations
Growing Up In A Critical Or Perfectionistic Environment
Did you grow up in a household where nothing you did ever seemed good enough? For covert narcissists, this is often the backdrop of their childhood. Many of them were raised in environments where parental criticism or perfectionism loomed large.
Parents might have set impossibly high standards, offering praise only when their child excelled. Over time, this creates a sense of conditional love—where worth is tied to achievement rather than inherent value.
Imagine a child bringing home a report card with mostly A’s and one B, only to hear, “Why isn’t this an A too?” This kind of feedback teaches children that mistakes are unacceptable and that their value depends on meeting external expectations.
As adults, covert narcissists carry this lesson forward, becoming hypersensitive to criticism because it feels like a direct attack on their worth. They’re not just hearing feedback; they’re reliving those childhood moments of inadequacy.
Development Of A Fragile Self-Concept
When children grow up in critical or perfectionistic environments, they often develop a fragile sense of self. Instead of feeling secure in who they are, they internalize the belief that they’re only as good as their last success. This fragile self-concept becomes the foundation for their extreme interpersonal sensitivity to criticism.
For covert narcissists, this fragility manifests as a constant need for validation. They might appear confident on the surface, but underneath, they’re bracing for the next critique.
Even a small comment can feel like a confirmation of their deepest fear—that they’re not good enough. This is why they often react defensively or withdraw when criticized. It’s not about the critique itself; it’s about the emotional wounds it reopens.
The Shame-Rage Spiral Mechanism
How Criticism Triggers The Shame Response
Criticism doesn’t just sting for covert narcissists—it cuts deep. Why? Because it triggers a shame response rooted in their early experiences. Shame isn’t just feeling bad about something you’ve done; it’s feeling like there’s something fundamentally wrong with who you are. For covert narcissists, criticism feels like a spotlight on their flaws, exposing the very insecurities they’ve worked so hard to hide.
This shame response often leads to emotional dysregulation. Instead of processing the feedback calmly, they might spiral into feelings of humiliation or self-loathing. Studies show that shame can activate defensive mechanisms like denial, projection, or even idealization. These defenses help them protect their fragile self-esteem, but they also make it nearly impossible for them to accept constructive criticism.
From Shame To Narcissistic Injury And Defensive Rage
When shame becomes too overwhelming, it can escalate into what psychologists call a narcissistic injury. This is when criticism feels so threatening that it shakes the very foundation of their self-worth. To cope, covert narcissists often lash out in what’s known as narcissistic rage. This isn’t always an explosive outburst; it can also take the form of passive-aggressive behaviors or silent resentment.
Research highlights several key factors in this shame-rage spiral:
Feelings of shame can lead to emotional dysregulation and aggressive responses.
Narcissistic injury activates defense mechanisms like projection and denial.
Vulnerable narcissists often internalize anger, leading to poor anger control and reactive aggression.
For example, if you point out a mistake they’ve made, they might accuse you of being overly critical or even incompetent yourself. This projection helps them shift the focus away from their own flaws. But underneath the anger lies a deep sense of inadequacy. They’re not just angry at you—they’re angry at themselves for not living up to their own impossible standards.
Note: If you’re dealing with a covert narcissist, remember that their reactions are more about their internal struggles than your words. Understanding this can help you approach these situations with empathy and patience.
Conclusion
Covert narcissists’ extreme interpersonal sensitivity to criticism stems from a mix of fragile self-esteem, distorted thinking, and unresolved childhood wounds. Their defensive reactions—whether it’s withdrawing, deflecting, or projecting—are attempts to shield themselves from emotional pain. Unfortunately, these behaviors often strain their relationships and create misunderstandings.
By understanding these dynamics, you can approach interactions with more empathy. Instead of taking their reactions personally, recognize them as reflections of their inner struggles. This perspective can help you set boundaries while maintaining compassion. After all, their hypersensitivity isn’t about you—it’s about their fight to protect a fragile sense of self.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What makes covert narcissists different from overt narcissists?
Covert narcissists are more subtle. They don’t openly brag or seek attention like overt narcissists. Instead, they may appear humble or reserved while secretly craving validation. Their hypersensitivity to criticism often hides behind a calm exterior, making their struggles less obvious but just as intense.
Why do covert narcissists take criticism so personally?
Criticism feels like a threat to their fragile self-esteem. It triggers deep-seated shame and insecurity, often rooted in childhood experiences. Even minor feedback can feel like an attack on their worth, leading to defensive or avoidant behaviors.
Can covert narcissists change their hypersensitivity to criticism?
Yes, but it’s challenging. Therapy, particularly cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), can help them address their shame and distorted thinking. However, they must first recognize their patterns and commit to change—a step many find difficult due to their defensive nature.
How can I give feedback to a covert narcissist without triggering them?
Frame your feedback gently and focus on specific behaviors, not their character. For example, say, “This approach might work better,” instead of, “You did this wrong.” Avoid harsh language and emphasize collaboration. Even then, their reaction may still be defensive.
Do covert narcissists know they’re hypersensitive?
Not always. Many covert narcissists lack self-awareness about their emotional reactions. They may genuinely believe others are overly critical or unfair, rather than recognizing their own distorted perceptions of feedback.
Is hypersensitivity to criticism a sign of low self-esteem?
Yes, in covert narcissists, hypersensitivity often masks deep insecurities. Despite their outward calm, they struggle with feelings of inadequacy and shame. Their defensive reactions are attempts to protect their fragile sense of self-worth.
Can hypersensitivity in covert narcissists harm relationships?
Absolutely. Their defensive behaviors—like withdrawing, deflecting, or projecting—can create misunderstandings and emotional distance. Over time, these patterns may erode trust and connection in personal and professional relationships.
How can I protect my mental health when dealing with a covert narcissist?
Set clear boundaries and manage your expectations. Don’t take their reactions personally—it’s about their internal struggles, not you. If interactions become overwhelming, consider seeking support from a therapist to navigate the relationship effectively.