Last updated on December 18th, 2024 at 04:03 am
- Psychological Profile of a Covert Victim Narcissist
- Characteristics and Traits
- Role of Victimhood in Covert Narcissism
- Inner Workings and Motivations
- Decoding Covert Narcissism
- Subtle Manipulation Tactics
- Projection of Victim Status
- Layers of Deceit and Manipulation
- Gaslighting: A Favorite Tool of Covert Victim Narcissists
- Common Gaslighting Strategies Used
- Impact on Victims
- Gaslighting as a Tool for Control
- The Toxic Combination: How Covert Victim Narcissists Use Gaslighting
- Case Studies and Real-Life Examples
- Gaslighting Techniques in Personal Relationships
- Workplace Implications
- Frequently Asked Questions
- How Does Covert Narcissism Differ From Overt Narcissism?
- What Are The Key Traits Of A Covert Narcissist?
- How Does Gaslighting Manifest In Relationships With Covert Narcissists?
- What Are The Long-Term Effects Of Being In A Relationship With A Covert Narcissist?
- How Can Someone Recognize If They’re Being Gaslighted By A Covert Narcissist?
- What Strategies Do Covert Narcissists Use To Manipulate Their Victims?
- How Does Covert Narcissism Affect Family Dynamics?
- What Are The Differences Between Covert Narcissism And Borderline Personality Disorder?
- How Can Someone Set Boundaries With A Covert Narcissist?
- What Role Does Empathy Play In Covert Narcissism?
- How Does Childhood Trauma Contribute To The Development Of Covert Narcissism?
- What Are The Signs Of A Covert Narcissist In The Workplace?
- How Can Therapy Help Victims Of Covert Narcissistic Abuse?
- What Is The Link Between Covert Narcissism And Passive-Aggressive Behavior?
- How Does Gaslighting By A Covert Narcissist Affect The Victim’s Mental Health?
- What Are The Challenges In Identifying Covert Narcissism In Romantic Relationships?
- How Does Covert Narcissism Manifest Differently In Men And Women?
- What Are The Red Flags Of A Covert Narcissist In Early Stages Of Dating?
Have you ever felt like you’re going crazy, doubting your own reality, while someone close to you plays the victim card? You’re not alone, and you’re certainly not losing your mind. Welcome to the twisted world of covert victim narcissism and gaslighting – a toxic cocktail that can leave even the strongest individuals questioning their sanity.
Imagine walking on eggshells, constantly apologizing for things you didn’t do, and feeling drained by someone who always seems to be the victim. Sound familiar? Brace yourself, because we’re about to dive deep into the manipulative tactics that covert narcissists use to gaslight their targets.
In this eye-opening post, we’ll unmask the hidden face of narcissism and expose the insidious nature of gaslighting. You’ll discover the telltale signs, the devastating effects, and most importantly, how to reclaim your power and break free from this emotional prison.
Whether you’re currently trapped in this toxic dance or supporting someone who is, this article is your lifeline. Prepare to have your eyes opened, your emotions stirred, and your resolve strengthened. Are you ready to take back control of your life and your sanity? Let’s begin this journey together.
Psychological Profile of a Covert Victim Narcissist
Characteristics and Traits
Covert victim narcissists are masters of deception, hiding their true nature behind a veil of victimhood. Unlike their overt counterparts, these individuals present themselves as vulnerable and helpless. They often display excessive sensitivity to criticism and a deep-seated need for admiration. Their self-esteem fluctuates wildly, swinging between grandiosity and self-pity.
-By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com
These individuals excel at emotional manipulation, using subtle tactics to control those around them. They may frequently complain about being misunderstood or mistreated, even when no harm has been done. Their relationships are often tumultuous, marked by passive-aggressive behavior and a constant need for validation.
Covert victim narcissists struggle with empathy, despite their outward appearance of sensitivity. They view the world through a lens of personal victimization, rarely considering others’ perspectives. This self-centered worldview fuels their manipulative behaviors and reinforces their victim mentality.
Role of Victimhood in Covert Narcissism
Victimhood plays a central role in the covert victim narcissist’s identity. It serves as both a shield and a weapon, protecting them from criticism while simultaneously garnering sympathy and attention. By constantly portraying themselves as the victim, these individuals deflect responsibility for their actions and manipulate others’ perceptions.
This perpetual victim status allows covert narcissists to avoid accountability. They skillfully twist situations to paint themselves as the wronged party, even when they’re clearly at fault. This tactic not only absolves them of blame but also elicits support and validation from others.
The victim role also feeds the covert narcissist’s need for attention and special treatment. By emphasizing their suffering, they create a narrative that places them at the center of every story. This constant focus on their perceived victimhood reinforces their sense of uniqueness and entitlement.
Inner Workings and Motivations
At their core, covert victim narcissists are driven by a deep-seated fear of inadequacy and a fragile sense of self-worth. Their constant need for external validation stems from an inability to generate self-esteem internally. This insecurity fuels their manipulative behaviors and their need to control others’ perceptions.
These individuals often harbor intense feelings of envy and resentment towards others. They may secretly believe they deserve more recognition or success than they’ve received. This belief, combined with their victim mentality, leads them to view life as inherently unfair and tilted against them.
Covert victim narcissists are motivated by a desire for power and control, albeit in a more subtle way than their overt counterparts. They achieve this through emotional manipulation, leveraging their perceived victimhood to influence others’ behaviors and decisions. This covert form of control allows them to maintain their image of vulnerability while still getting their needs met.
Decoding Covert Narcissism
Subtle Manipulation Tactics
Covert victim narcissists employ a range of subtle manipulation tactics to control their environment and the people around them. One common strategy is emotional blackmail, where they use guilt or fear to influence others’ behavior. They might say things like, “If you really cared about me, you wouldn’t do that.”
Another tactic is passive-aggressive behavior, which allows them to express negative feelings indirectly. This might involve giving someone the silent treatment or making sarcastic comments disguised as jokes. These behaviors are designed to punish or control without overtly appearing aggressive.
Covert narcissists also excel at playing the victim, using exaggerated or false claims of mistreatment to gain sympathy and support. They may dramatically overreact to minor slights or fabricate entire scenarios of persecution. This tactic not only garners attention but also paints them as morally superior to their alleged persecutors.
Projection of Victim Status
Projection is a key tool in the covert victim narcissist’s arsenal. They often accuse others of the very behaviors they’re guilty of, effectively deflecting attention from their own actions. For instance, they might accuse a partner of being selfish or manipulative, when in reality, these are traits they possess themselves.
This projection serves multiple purposes. It allows the narcissist to avoid confronting their own flaws and behaviors. Instead, they can focus on the perceived shortcomings of others. Additionally, it creates confusion and self-doubt in their victims, making it harder for them to recognize and call out the narcissist’s manipulative tactics.
The constant projection of victim status also reinforces the narcissist’s distorted worldview. By consistently painting themselves as the wronged party, they create a narrative that justifies their manipulative behaviors and entitlement. This self-reinforcing cycle can make it extremely difficult for them to recognize or change their harmful patterns.
Layers of Deceit and Manipulation
Covert victim narcissists operate on multiple levels of deceit and manipulation. On the surface, they present themselves as kind, sensitive individuals who are often misunderstood or mistreated. This outer layer serves as a convincing facade, making it difficult for others to suspect their true nature.
Beneath this veneer lies a complex web of manipulation tactics. They may use triangulation, pitting people against each other to create drama and maintain control. They might also employ gaslighting, subtly altering reality to make their victims doubt their own perceptions and memories.
-By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com
At the deepest level, covert narcissists manipulate through emotional exploitation. They’re adept at identifying others’ vulnerabilities and using them for personal gain. This might involve feigning shared experiences to create false intimacy or exploiting someone’s insecurities to maintain power in the relationship.
To learn more about the manipulation tactics used by covert narcissists, check out this comprehensive guide: Covert Narcissist Manipulation Tactics.
Gaslighting: A Favorite Tool of Covert Victim Narcissists
Common Gaslighting Strategies Used
Gaslighting is a potent weapon in the covert victim narcissist’s arsenal. One common strategy is denying reality, where they flatly contradict the victim’s memories or experiences. They might say, “That never happened,” even when presented with clear evidence to the contrary.
Another tactic is trivializing emotions. The narcissist dismisses the victim’s feelings as an overreaction or accuses them of being too sensitive. This invalidation can make the victim question their own emotional responses and perceptions.
Shifting blame is also a frequent gaslighting technique. The narcissist skillfully turns accusations back on the accuser, making the victim feel responsible for the narcissist’s actions or behaviors. They might say, “I wouldn’t have to do this if you weren’t so demanding.”
Impact on Victims
The effects of gaslighting on victims can be profound and long-lasting. Many victims experience a gradual erosion of self-confidence and trust in their own perceptions. They may constantly second-guess themselves, wondering if they’re remembering events correctly or if their emotional responses are appropriate.
Gaslighting can lead to severe anxiety and depression in victims. The constant questioning of reality and self-doubt can be emotionally exhausting, leading to feelings of helplessness and despair. Some victims may even develop symptoms of PTSD, especially if the gaslighting occurs over an extended period.
Long-term exposure to gaslighting can fundamentally alter a person’s sense of self. Victims may lose touch with their own needs, desires, and boundaries, becoming increasingly dependent on the narcissist for validation and direction. This loss of self can persist long after the relationship with the narcissist has ended.
Gaslighting as a Tool for Control
For covert victim narcissists, gaslighting is primarily a tool for maintaining control and power in relationships. By destabilizing their victim’s sense of reality, they create a dependency that serves their needs. The victim becomes reliant on the narcissist to interpret events and emotions, giving the narcissist significant influence over their thoughts and actions.
Gaslighting also serves to protect the narcissist’s fragile ego. By convincing others that their perceptions are wrong, the narcissist avoids having to confront their own flaws or take responsibility for their actions. This allows them to maintain their self-image of perfection and victimhood.
Moreover, gaslighting helps the narcissist isolate their victim from potential support systems. As the victim’s trust in their own judgment erodes, they may withdraw from friends and family who challenge the narcissist’s version of reality. This isolation further strengthens the narcissist’s control and makes it harder for the victim to escape the abusive dynamic.
For a deeper understanding of gaslighting and its effects, read this insightful article: Gaslighting 101: The Narcissist’s Favorite Manipulation Tactic Exposed.
The Toxic Combination: How Covert Victim Narcissists Use Gaslighting
Case Studies and Real-Life Examples
Consider the case of Sarah and Tom. Sarah, a covert victim narcissist, consistently twisted Tom’s words during arguments. When Tom tried to address issues in their relationship, Sarah would claim he was being abusive, even though he was speaking calmly. Over time, Tom began to doubt his own behavior, wondering if he was indeed unintentionally abusive.
Another example is the workplace dynamic between manager Lisa and her team. Lisa, a covert victim narcissist, would set unrealistic deadlines and then complain about being overwhelmed with work. When team members failed to meet these impossible standards, Lisa would gaslight them into believing they were underperforming, despite their best efforts.
In both cases, the covert victim narcissist used their perceived victimhood as a shield while employing gaslighting to manipulate others’ perceptions. This toxic combination left their victims confused, self-doubting, and increasingly dependent on the narcissist’s version of reality.
Gaslighting Techniques in Personal Relationships
In intimate relationships, covert victim narcissists often use gaslighting to maintain control and avoid accountability. They might rewrite history, denying promises made or conversations had. For instance, they might say, “I never agreed to that,” even when their partner clearly remembers the agreement.
Another common technique is minimizing their partner’s feelings. When confronted about hurtful behavior, they might respond with, “You’re too sensitive,” or “Can’t you take a joke?” This invalidation can make the partner question their emotional responses and hesitate to express their needs in the future.
-By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com
Covert victim narcissists may also use silent treatment as a form of gaslighting. By withdrawing emotionally and refusing to communicate, they leave their partner confused and anxious. When the partner eventually confronts them, the narcissist might claim nothing is wrong, making the partner feel paranoid or overly demanding.
Workplace Implications
In professional settings, covert victim narcissists can create toxic environments through their gaslighting behaviors. They might take credit for others’ work while simultaneously complaining about being overworked or underappreciated. When confronted, they may gaslight colleagues by denying these actions or accusing others of misunderstanding their intentions.
These individuals often excel at manipulating performance reviews and feedback sessions. They might downplay their mistakes while exaggerating their contributions, gaslighting supervisors into believing they’re indispensable team members. Meanwhile, they may subtly undermine their colleagues, creating doubt about their competence or reliability.
Covert victim narcissists in leadership positions can be particularly damaging. They might set vague or constantly changing expectations, then gaslight employees who fail to meet these unclear standards. This creates an atmosphere of uncertainty and anxiety, where employees are always on edge, unsure if they’re meeting expectations or about to be criticized.
To explore more about the toxic combination of covert narcissism and gaslighting, visit: Gaslighting and Covert Narcissism: A Toxic Combination.
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Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
Frequently Asked Questions
How Does Covert Narcissism Differ From Overt Narcissism?
Covert narcissism, also known as vulnerable narcissism, is a more subtle form of narcissistic personality disorder. Unlike overt narcissists who are outwardly grandiose and attention-seeking, covert narcissists tend to be more introverted and self-effacing on the surface. They often appear shy or modest, but internally harbor feelings of superiority and entitlement.
Covert narcissists are hypersensitive to criticism, prone to passive-aggressive behavior, and may play the victim to manipulate others. They seek admiration and validation in more subtle ways than their overt counterparts, often through false humility or by emphasizing their suffering or misfortune.
What Are The Key Traits Of A Covert Narcissist?
Covert narcissists display a unique set of characteristics that can be challenging to identify. They often exhibit a fragile self-esteem masked by a facade of humility. These individuals are hypersensitive to criticism and may react with passive-aggressive behavior or silent treatment when they feel slighted.
Covert narcissists frequently engage in self-pity and play the victim role to gain sympathy and attention. They may have a strong sense of entitlement but express it through subtle manipulation rather than overt demands. Additionally, they often struggle with envy, harboring resentment towards those they perceive as more successful or admired.
How Does Gaslighting Manifest In Relationships With Covert Narcissists?
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation commonly employed by covert narcissists in relationships. In these situations, the narcissist may subtly distort reality, causing their partner to question their own perceptions and memories. They might deny saying or doing things, even when presented with evidence, or trivialize their partner’s feelings and experiences.
Covert narcissists often use gaslighting to maintain control and avoid accountability, making their partners doubt their own judgment and become increasingly dependent on the narcissist’s version of reality. This can lead to a gradual erosion of the victim’s self-esteem and confidence, making it difficult for them to recognize and address the abuse.
What Are The Long-Term Effects Of Being In A Relationship With A Covert Narcissist?
Being in a relationship with a covert narcissist can have profound and lasting impacts on an individual’s mental and emotional well-being. Victims often experience a significant decrease in self-esteem and self-worth as a result of constant subtle criticism and manipulation. They may develop anxiety, depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) due to the ongoing emotional abuse.
Many survivors struggle with trust issues in future relationships and may have difficulty setting healthy boundaries. The gaslighting tactics employed by covert narcissists can lead to cognitive dissonance and self-doubt that persist long after the relationship ends. Recovery often requires professional help to rebuild self-esteem and relearn healthy relationship patterns.
How Can Someone Recognize If They’re Being Gaslighted By A Covert Narcissist?
Recognizing gaslighting by a covert narcissist can be challenging due to its subtle nature. Some signs include constantly doubting your own memory or perception of events, feeling confused or crazy in the relationship, and apologizing frequently even when you’re not sure what you’ve done wrong. You might find yourself always trying to please your partner or walking on eggshells to avoid their displeasure.
The covert narcissist may trivialize your feelings or experiences, make you question your own judgment, or subtly undermine your confidence. If you often feel guilty, anxious, or unsure of yourself in the relationship, these could be indicators of gaslighting by a covert narcissist.
What Strategies Do Covert Narcissists Use To Manipulate Their Victims?
Covert narcissists employ a range of subtle manipulation tactics to control their victims. One common strategy is playing the victim to elicit sympathy and avoid accountability. They may use passive-aggressive behavior, such as the silent treatment or subtle put-downs, to punish their partners. Covert narcissists often engage in emotional withholding, alternating between affection and coldness to keep their victims off-balance.
They might also use guilt-tripping or subtle threats of abandonment to maintain control. Another tactic is triangulation, where they introduce a third party into the relationship dynamic to create jealousy or insecurity. These manipulative behaviors are often so subtle that victims may not recognize them as abusive until significant damage has been done.
How Does Covert Narcissism Affect Family Dynamics?
Covert narcissism can have a profound impact on family dynamics, creating a toxic and unstable environment. In family settings, the covert narcissist may play favorites among children, fostering competition and resentment. They often use guilt and shame to control family members, making others feel responsible for their happiness or well-being.
The narcissist’s need for admiration may lead them to undermine their partner’s parenting or relationships with the children. Family members may develop codependent behaviors as they try to manage the narcissist’s moods and needs. The constant emotional manipulation can lead to anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem in both partners and children, potentially resulting in intergenerational patterns of narcissistic behavior or victimization.
What Are The Differences Between Covert Narcissism And Borderline Personality Disorder?
While covert narcissism and borderline personality disorder (BPD) share some similarities, they are distinct conditions. Covert narcissists typically have a grandiose sense of self-importance hidden beneath a modest exterior, while individuals with BPD often struggle with an unstable sense of self. Both may experience intense emotions, but those with BPD tend to have more volatile mood swings and fear of abandonment.
Covert narcissists are more likely to play the victim for manipulation, whereas those with BPD may genuinely feel victimized due to emotional instability. While both may engage in manipulative behaviors, covert narcissists do so primarily for admiration and control, while those with BPD may do so out of fear of abandonment or emotional dysregulation.
How Can Someone Set Boundaries With A Covert Narcissist?
Setting boundaries with a covert narcissist is crucial but can be challenging due to their subtle manipulation tactics. It’s important to clearly communicate your limits and stick to them consistently. Be prepared for the narcissist to test these boundaries or respond with passive-aggressive behavior. Avoid justifying or over-explaining your boundaries, as this can give the narcissist ammunition for manipulation.
Practice assertiveness and learn to say “no” without guilt. It’s also helpful to have a support system outside of the relationship to reinforce your resolve. Remember that setting boundaries is about protecting your well-being, not punishing the narcissist. If the covert narcissist consistently violates your boundaries, it may be necessary to reevaluate the relationship and consider limiting contact or seeking professional help.
What Role Does Empathy Play In Covert Narcissism?
Empathy, or the lack thereof, plays a significant role in covert narcissism. While covert narcissists may appear sensitive and attuned to others’ emotions, this is often a facade. They typically have a limited capacity for genuine empathy and struggle to truly understand or care about others’ feelings.
Instead, they may use cognitive empathy – the ability to intellectually understand others’ emotions – as a tool for manipulation. Covert narcissists might feign empathy to gain trust or admiration, but their actions ultimately reveal a self-centered focus. This lack of true empathy can lead to significant emotional damage in their relationships, as partners and loved ones feel consistently misunderstood and unsupported.
How Does Childhood Trauma Contribute To The Development Of Covert Narcissism?
Childhood trauma often plays a significant role in the development of covert narcissism. Early experiences of neglect, abuse, or inconsistent parenting can contribute to the formation of narcissistic traits as a coping mechanism. Children who experience emotional invalidation or excessive criticism may develop a fragile self-esteem hidden behind a facade of superiority.
Overindulgence or excessive praise can also lead to narcissistic tendencies, as the child learns to base their self-worth on external validation. Attachment issues with primary caregivers can result in difficulty forming genuine connections later in life, a hallmark of covert narcissism. The shame and insecurity resulting from childhood trauma may manifest as the hypersensitivity to criticism and need for admiration characteristic of covert narcissists.
What Are The Signs Of A Covert Narcissist In The Workplace?
Covert narcissists in the workplace can be challenging to identify due to their subtle behaviors. They may appear humble or self-deprecating while harboring a sense of superiority. These individuals often take credit for others’ work or ideas in subtle ways, such as through strategic omissions or implications.
They may undermine colleagues through passive-aggressive tactics like withholding information or giving backhanded compliments. Covert narcissists in leadership positions might micromanage or set unrealistic expectations while playing the victim when goals aren’t met. They often create a toxic work environment by pitting colleagues against each other or spreading subtle rumors, while appearing hardworking but actually contributing less and manipulating others to cover for them.
How Can Therapy Help Victims Of Covert Narcissistic Abuse?
Therapy can be instrumental in helping victims of covert narcissistic abuse recover and heal. A skilled therapist can assist in identifying and understanding the patterns of abuse, which is crucial as covert narcissistic abuse is often subtle and hard to recognize. Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) can help victims challenge and reframe the negative self-beliefs instilled by the abuser, while trauma-focused therapies like EMDR may be beneficial for processing traumatic experiences.
Therapy also provides a safe space for victims to rebuild their self-esteem and learn to trust their own perceptions again. Additionally, it can help in developing healthy coping mechanisms, setting boundaries, and recognizing red flags in future relationships. Group therapy or support groups can also be valuable, offering validation and community with others who have had similar experiences.
What Is The Link Between Covert Narcissism And Passive-Aggressive Behavior?
Covert narcissism and passive-aggressive behavior are closely linked, with passive-aggression being a common tactic employed by covert narcissists. These individuals often use passive-aggressive behaviors as a means of expressing their anger, resentment, or disapproval indirectly. This might manifest as sulking, procrastination, subtle insults disguised as jokes, or deliberately poor performance.
Covert narcissists may use passive-aggressive tactics to maintain their image of superiority while avoiding direct confrontation or accountability. This behavior allows them to express negative emotions without openly acknowledging them, which aligns with their need to maintain a facade of humility or victimhood. The use of passive-aggression can be particularly damaging in relationships, as it creates a confusing and emotionally manipulative environment for their partners or colleagues.
How Does Gaslighting By A Covert Narcissist Affect The Victim’s Mental Health?
Gaslighting by a covert narcissist can have severe and long-lasting effects on the victim’s mental health. The constant manipulation and reality distortion can lead to anxiety, depression, and a pervasive sense of self-doubt. Victims often experience a deterioration of their self-esteem and confidence as they are repeatedly made to question their own perceptions and memories.
This can result in a state of cognitive dissonance, where the victim struggles to reconcile their experiences with the narcissist’s version of reality. Many victims develop symptoms of complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) due to the ongoing emotional abuse. The chronic stress of living in such an environment can also lead to physical health issues, and recovery often requires professional help to rebuild the victim’s sense of self and ability to trust their own judgment.
What Are The Challenges In Identifying Covert Narcissism In Romantic Relationships?
Identifying covert narcissism in romantic relationships can be particularly challenging due to the subtle nature of the behaviors involved. Covert narcissists often present themselves as caring and attentive partners initially, making it difficult to recognize their true nature. Their manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting and passive-aggressive behavior, can be so subtle that victims may not realize they’re being abused.
The covert narcissist’s tendency to play the victim can make their partner feel guilty for having concerns or setting boundaries. Additionally, the intermittent reinforcement of affection and withdrawal can create a strong emotional bond, making it hard for the victim to see the relationship objectively. The facade of humility presented by covert narcissists can also make it challenging for outsiders to believe or validate the victim’s experiences.
How Does Covert Narcissism Manifest Differently In Men And Women?
While covert narcissism can manifest similarly in both men and women, there are some gender-specific differences in how it may present. In men, covert narcissism might manifest as a quiet sense of superiority, often expressed through intellectual arrogance or a martyr complex. They may be more likely to use passive-aggressive tactics in professional settings.
Women with covert narcissism might be more prone to using emotional manipulation and playing the victim role in personal relationships. They may express their narcissism through excessive focus on their appearance or by competing with other women in subtle ways. Both genders may struggle with envy and resentment towards those they perceive as more successful, but women might be more likely to express this through gossip or social manipulation, while men might withdraw or subtly undermine others’ achievements.
What Are The Red Flags Of A Covert Narcissist In Early Stages Of Dating?
Recognizing a covert narcissist in the early stages of dating can be challenging, but there are several red flags to watch for. Pay attention to how they handle even minor criticisms or disagreements; a covert narcissist may become disproportionately defensive or sulky. Notice if they consistently steer conversations back to themselves or subtly put down your achievements.
Be wary of excessive self-deprecation used to fish for compliments or reassurance. Watch for signs of entitlement or a sense that rules don’t apply to them. Pay attention to how they speak about exes or others in their life; covert narcissists often play the victim in past relationships. Be cautious if they push for quick emotional intimacy while avoiding genuine vulnerability, and notice if they use guilt or passive-aggressive behavior to manipulate situations in their favor.
