Why do covert narcissists cheat? It often boils down to their deep need for validation and their sense of entitlement. They chase new relationships to feel admired, even if it means betraying their partner’s trust.
The thrill of someone new gives them a temporary ego boost, especially when they feel insecure. You might notice how they justify their actions by blaming their partner or convincing themselves they deserve better.
Their lack of empathy makes it easier for them to hide their infidelity behind an innocent facade, leaving you questioning your own instincts.
Key Takeaways
Covert narcissists cheat to feel important and boost their weak confidence.
They often think they deserve special treatment, which excuses cheating.
They may pull away emotionally before or during their affairs.
Watch for sudden changes in how they talk or unexplained absences.
Covert narcissists use technology to hide, like secret accounts or deleted texts.
Notice the ups and downs in emotions that can trap you with them.
Keep track of odd behaviors to find patterns and protect yourself.
Having supportive friends or family can help you feel understood and clear-minded.
Why Covert Narcissists Cheat
Psychological Motivations Behind Infidelity
How Fragile Self-Esteem Drives Multiple Partner Pursuit
Have you ever noticed how some people seem to need constant reassurance? For covert narcissists, this need runs much deeper. Their self-esteem is incredibly fragile, even if they appear confident on the surface. They often seek validation from multiple partners to patch up their insecurities. This isn’t about love or connection—it’s about feeling worthy.
Research highlights how vulnerable narcissists, a category that includes covert narcissists, experience heightened jealousy and insecurity in relationships. They may cheat to regain a sense of control or boost their self-esteem when they feel threatened. Take a look at this breakdown of motivations:
Type of Narcissism | Response to Infidelity | Motivations |
|---|---|---|
Vulnerable Narcissism | Increased cognitive-affective jealousy | Power, control, self-esteem enhancement, security |
Grandiose Narcissism | Cooler, less emotionally charged responses | Power and control motives only |
Emotional Infidelity | Greater jealousy in vulnerable narcissists | Security, self-esteem restoration |
Sexual Infidelity | Similar responses in grandiose narcissists | Power and control motives |
For covert narcissists, cheating becomes a way to feel important again. If their partner doesn’t provide constant affirmation, they might look elsewhere. It’s not your fault, but understanding this pattern can help you see the bigger picture.
The Role Of Entitlement In Justifying Relationship Betrayals
Covert narcissists often believe they deserve special treatment. This sense of entitlement can lead them to justify their infidelity. They might think, “I work so hard; I deserve this,” or, “My partner doesn’t appreciate me, so why not?” These justifications help them avoid guilt and maintain their facade of innocence.
In my experience as a therapist, I’ve seen clients struggle to understand how their partner could betray them so easily. The truth is, covert narcissists don’t see cheating the same way you do. They view it as a way to meet their needs, not as a betrayal of trust. This mindset makes it easier for them to compartmentalize their actions and continue their double life.
Emotional Needs That Drive Cheating Behavior
Fear Of Vulnerability And Its Connection To Sexual Infidelity
Covert narcissists fear vulnerability. Opening up emotionally feels risky, so they often avoid deep connections. Ironically, this fear can drive them toward sexual infidelity. Physical relationships feel safer because they don’t require emotional intimacy.
Studies show that individuals with high levels of vulnerable narcissism are more likely to cheat when they feel emotionally insecure. For them, infidelity isn’t just about attraction—it’s a way to avoid the discomfort of emotional closeness. Have you ever felt like your partner was pulling away just when things got serious? This fear of vulnerability might explain why.
The Contradictory Cycle Of Craving Yet Avoiding Deep Connection
Here’s the paradox: covert narcissists crave connection but fear it at the same time. They want to feel loved and valued, yet they push people away when relationships get too close. This cycle can leave you feeling confused and hurt.
Research supports this contradiction. Vulnerable narcissists often seek emotional reassurance outside their primary relationship, especially when they feel unappreciated. They might cheat to fill an emotional void, even though they’re the ones creating distance. It’s a frustrating pattern, but recognizing it can help you protect yourself.
Patterns When Covert Narcissists Cheat
Common Behavioral Patterns In Relationships
Identity Shifting Between Different Relationship Personas
Covert narcissists often wear different masks depending on who they’re interacting with. Around you, they might play the role of the devoted partner, but with others, they could present themselves as misunderstood or even single. This identity shifting allows them to manipulate multiple people without raising suspicion.
You might notice subtle changes in their behavior when they’re around different groups. For example:
They act overly charming with strangers but distant with you.
They downplay your relationship when talking to others.
They suddenly adopt new interests or opinions that align with someone they’re trying to impress.
These shifts aren’t accidental. They’re calculated moves to maintain control and keep their double life intact. By presenting different personas, they ensure no one sees the full picture of their actions.
Emotional Withdrawal Tactics Before And During Affairs
Have you ever felt like your partner was pulling away emotionally, but you couldn’t figure out why? Covert narcissists often use emotional withdrawal as a tactic to create distance. This can happen before or during an affair.
They might:
Stop sharing details about their day.
Avoid physical affection or intimacy.
Respond with vague or dismissive answers when you ask questions.
This withdrawal isn’t just about creating space for someone else. It’s also a way to punish you and make you feel insecure. By keeping you off balance, they maintain the upper hand in the relationship.
Tip: If you notice these patterns, trust your instincts. Emotional withdrawal is often a red flag that something deeper is going on.
Communication Pattern Shifts That Signal Divided Attention
Sudden Vocabulary Changes And New Reference Points
When covert narcissists cheat, their communication often changes in subtle but noticeable ways. They might start using phrases or slang that seem out of character. For example, they could suddenly reference places, people, or activities you’ve never heard of before.
Here’s a breakdown of common manipulative language shifts:
Phrase Category | Example Phrases | Manipulative Function |
|---|---|---|
Blame Shifting | “You made me do this” | Transfers responsibility for their actions to you |
Reality Distortion | “That never happened” | Undermines your confidence in your memory |
Emotional Invalidation | “You’re too sensitive” | Dismisses your legitimate emotional responses |
These changes aren’t random. They reflect the influence of someone new in their life. Pay attention to these shifts—they can be a clue that their attention is divided.
The Emergence Of Unexplained Time Gaps And Inconsistencies
Another telltale sign is the appearance of unexplained time gaps. Maybe they suddenly have “work meetings” that run late or errands that take hours longer than expected. When you ask about these gaps, their answers might feel vague or inconsistent.
For instance:
They might say, “I was stuck in traffic,” but can’t explain where.
They could claim they were with a friend but avoid giving details.
Their timeline might not add up when you piece it together.
These inconsistencies aren’t just frustrating—they’re deliberate. Covert narcissists rely on confusion to keep you from uncovering the truth.
Note: Trust your gut. If their stories don’t make sense, it’s worth digging deeper.
How Covert Narcissists Conceal Their Cheating
Compartmentalization Techniques In Multiple Relationships
Digital Secrecy Methods And Technology-Based Deception
Have you ever noticed how some people seem to live double lives online? Covert narcissists are experts at this. They use technology to compartmentalize their relationships, keeping their affairs hidden from you. For example, they might create secret social media accounts or use encrypted messaging apps to communicate with affair partners.
They’re also skilled at covering their tracks. They may delete messages, use fake names in their contacts, or even set up separate email accounts. Some go as far as using apps that hide photos and conversations behind innocent-looking icons. These tactics make it nearly impossible for you to stumble upon their secrets accidentally.
In one case, a partner described how their covert narcissist spouse maintained the appearance of being single online while being married in real life. This manipulation caused emotional turmoil, highlighting how effective these secrecy methods can be. If you’ve ever felt like something doesn’t add up, trust your instincts.
Strategic Selection Of Affair Partners For Maximum Security
Covert narcissists don’t just cheat with anyone—they’re strategic about it. They often choose affair partners who are unlikely to expose them. This could include people who are already in relationships themselves or those who have something to lose if the affair becomes public.
By selecting partners who are equally invested in secrecy, they reduce the risk of being caught. They might also target individuals who are emotionally vulnerable or easily manipulated, ensuring they can maintain control over the situation.
This calculated approach allows them to juggle multiple relationships without raising suspicion. It’s not just about the thrill of cheating—it’s about maintaining their carefully crafted image while meeting their own needs.
Tactical Deception Strategies
Preemptive Alibi Creation And Maintenance
Covert narcissists are masters of planning ahead. They often create alibis before you even suspect anything. For instance, they might tell you about a “work trip” weeks in advance or mention a new hobby that conveniently explains their absences.
These alibis aren’t just random excuses. They’re carefully constructed to sound believable and align with their usual behavior. They might even involve other people, like coworkers or friends, to back up their stories. This makes it harder for you to question their actions without feeling paranoid.
Studies show that covert narcissists frequently lie to maintain their desired image. They manipulate their self-presentation to appear trustworthy, even while engaging in deceit. If their stories seem too perfect, it’s worth taking a closer look.
Manufactured Arguments As Distance-Creating Mechanisms
Have you ever found yourself in an argument that seemed to come out of nowhere? Covert narcissists often manufacture conflicts as a way to create emotional distance. These arguments serve as a distraction, keeping you focused on the fight instead of their suspicious behavior.
For example, they might accuse you of being too controlling or overly sensitive. This shifts the focus away from their actions and puts you on the defensive. It’s a clever tactic that allows them to justify their emotional withdrawal while keeping you off balance.
Research highlights how covert narcissists use deception to mask their true intentions. By creating chaos in the relationship, they ensure you’re too preoccupied to notice their infidelity. Recognizing this pattern can help you regain control and protect your emotional well-being.
Manipulation Tactics When Suspicions Arise
Preemptive Accusation Strategies And Projection
How Reverse Accusations Create Defensive Positioning
Have you ever confronted someone about suspicious behavior, only to end up defending yourself instead? Covert narcissists excel at flipping the script. When you question their actions, they might accuse you of being controlling, paranoid, or even unfaithful yourself. This tactic, known as reverse accusation, puts you on the defensive and shifts the focus away from their behavior.
Psychological theories, like the DARVO framework (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), explain this strategy well. For example, in the case study of Joel Johnson, he accused his partner of being emotionally unstable when confronted about his infidelity. By doing this, he not only avoided accountability but also made his partner question their own perceptions. This pattern isn’t random—it’s a calculated move to maintain control.
You might hear phrases like:
“You’re the one who’s always suspicious!”
“Why are you projecting your insecurities onto me?”
“If you trusted me, you wouldn’t even ask that.”
These statements aren’t just dismissive. They’re designed to make you doubt yourself and feel guilty for even bringing up your concerns.
The Strategic Timing Of Partner Criticism To Deflect Attention
Timing is everything for a covert narcissist. They often criticize you at moments when you’re already feeling vulnerable or unsure. This criticism serves two purposes: it deflects attention from their actions and weakens your confidence, making it harder for you to challenge them.
For instance, they might bring up a past mistake of yours right after you question their whereabouts. Or they could suddenly criticize your appearance, work, or parenting skills during a heated discussion. These tactics aren’t accidental. They’re carefully timed to keep you off balance.
Research shows that covert narcissists use blame-shifting and subtle jabs to create dependency while maintaining plausible deniability. By keeping you focused on your perceived flaws, they ensure you’re too distracted to notice their own.
Tip: If their criticism feels out of place or unusually harsh, take a step back. It might be a tactic to divert your attention.
Gaslighting Methods Specific To Infidelity Concealment
Reality Distortion Through Selective Memory Manipulation
Have you ever felt like your memory was playing tricks on you? Covert narcissists are experts at distorting reality. They might deny events that clearly happened or claim you’re misremembering details. This tactic, known as selective memory manipulation, makes you question your own perceptions.
For example, they might say, “I never said that,” or, “You’re imagining things.” Over time, these small denials can erode your confidence in your own memory. Studies on gaslighting highlight how this tactic positions the narcissist as the “reasonable” one while invalidating your feelings.
In my experience as a therapist, I’ve seen clients struggle with this form of manipulation. One client described how her partner would deny entire conversations, leaving her feeling confused and isolated. This isn’t just frustrating—it’s emotionally damaging.
Note: If you find yourself constantly second-guessing your memory, it’s worth considering whether gaslighting might be at play.
Counterevidence Creation To Undermine Partner Perceptions
Covert narcissists don’t just deny your reality—they actively create counterevidence to discredit you. They might fabricate stories, alter timelines, or even involve others to back up their version of events. This tactic makes it nearly impossible for you to prove your suspicions.
For instance, they might show you a text message from a “friend” to explain their late-night absence, even though the message was staged. Or they could involve a coworker to vouch for their alibi. These actions aren’t just deceptive—they’re designed to make you feel powerless.
Psychological research supports this behavior. Covert narcissists often cultivate a victim narrative to excuse their actions and deflect criticism. By creating counterevidence, they ensure you’re left questioning your own instincts.
Reminder: Trust your gut. If their explanations feel overly rehearsed or too perfect, they might be hiding something.
How Covert Narcissists React When Caught Cheating
Strategic Denial Despite Overwhelming Evidence
The Calculated Spectrum Between Partial And Complete Denial
When you confront a covert narcissist about cheating, their first instinct is often denial. They might outright reject the accusation, claiming, “That’s ridiculous!” or “You’re imagining things.” This isn’t just a knee-jerk reaction—it’s a calculated move. Denial helps them buy time and maintain control over the situation.
Sometimes, they’ll take a more subtle approach, offering partial truths. For example, they might admit to texting someone but insist it was “just friendly” or “nothing serious.” This tactic keeps you guessing and makes it harder for you to hold them accountable.
Why do they do this? Covert narcissists thrive on ambiguity. By giving you just enough information to doubt yourself, they keep the upper hand. You might find yourself questioning your instincts, wondering if you’ve overreacted.
Tip: If their explanations feel incomplete or overly defensive, trust your gut. Denial is often their first line of defense.
Evidence Manipulation And Narrative Reframing Techniques
If denial doesn’t work, they’ll shift gears. Covert narcissists are masters at twisting the story to suit their needs. They might manipulate evidence, like deleting messages or fabricating alibis, to make you doubt what you’ve seen.
For instance, they could say, “That text wasn’t from who you think it was,” or, “You misunderstood what you saw.” These statements aren’t just dismissive—they’re designed to make you question your reality.
They’ll also reframe the narrative to paint themselves as the victim. Maybe they’ll claim they cheated because you were “too distant” or “didn’t meet their needs.” This tactic shifts the blame onto you, making it harder to focus on their betrayal.
Did you know? Covert narcissists often use emotional threats, like promising to leave or accusing you of being controlling, to maintain control. These manipulations can leave you feeling trapped and unsure of how to respond.
Tactical Switching Between Victim And Aggressor Stances
Martyr Positioning And Self-Victimization Responses
Have you ever noticed how quickly a covert narcissist can turn the tables? One moment, they’re the aggressor. The next, they’re the victim. This tactic, known as martyr positioning, is a hallmark of their behavior.
When caught cheating, they might say things like:
“I didn’t want to hurt you, but I felt so unloved.”
“You don’t understand how hard things have been for me.”
“I only did it because I was desperate for attention.”
These statements aren’t genuine apologies. They’re designed to make you feel guilty for confronting them. By portraying themselves as the victim, they deflect attention from their actions and shift the emotional burden onto you.
Studies on the DARVO tactic (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) show how effective this strategy can be. Observers often see the real victim as less credible, while the narcissist appears less responsible. This manipulation can leave you feeling isolated and doubting your own perceptions.
Punishment Deployment Through Emotional Withdrawal
If playing the victim doesn’t work, they might switch to a more aggressive tactic: emotional withdrawal. This punishment can take many forms, from giving you the silent treatment to withholding affection.
For example, they might stop responding to your texts or avoid spending time with you. When you try to address the issue, they could say, “I just need space,” or, “You’re smothering me.” These actions aren’t about self-care—they’re about control.
By withdrawing emotionally, they create a power imbalance in the relationship. You might find yourself chasing after them, desperate to fix things. This dynamic keeps you focused on their needs, rather than addressing their betrayal.
Reminder: Emotional withdrawal is a form of manipulation. It’s not your job to fix their behavior or make excuses for their actions.
The Trauma Bond With A Cheating Covert Narcissist
Trauma Bonding Mechanisms In Infidelity Aftermath
The Biochemical Addiction Cycle Of Hope And Disappointment
Have you ever felt stuck in a relationship, even when you know it’s hurting you? That’s the power of a trauma bond. When you’re with a covert narcissist, their behavior creates a cycle of emotional highs and lows. One moment, they’re showering you with affection. The next, they’re distant or critical. This rollercoaster triggers a biochemical response in your brain.
Your body releases dopamine during the “good” moments, making you feel euphoric. But when they withdraw or betray you, cortisol floods your system, causing stress and anxiety. Over time, this cycle becomes addictive. You start craving the highs, even if it means enduring the lows. It’s like being hooked on a drug—you know it’s harmful, but breaking free feels impossible.
Tip: Recognizing this cycle is the first step to breaking it. Pay attention to how your emotions fluctuate and consider seeking support to regain control.
Intermittent Reinforcement Patterns That Strengthen Attachment
Why is it so hard to leave someone who hurts you? The answer lies in intermittent reinforcement. Covert narcissists are masters at keeping you guessing. They’ll give you just enough love and attention to keep you hooked, but not enough to feel secure.
For example, they might apologize after an argument, promising to change. But their behavior rarely matches their words. This inconsistency keeps you hoping for the “good” version of them to return. Psychologists compare this to a slot machine—you never know when you’ll win, so you keep playing.
This pattern strengthens your attachment to them, even as they continue to hurt you. It’s a cruel form of manipulation, but understanding it can help you take back your power.
Reminder: Healthy relationships don’t leave you guessing. If you’re constantly waiting for things to get better, it might be time to reevaluate.
Cognitive Dissonance Creation And Exploitation
The Reality-Perception Gap That Victims Experience
Have you ever felt like your reality doesn’t match what you’re being told? That’s cognitive dissonance in action. Covert narcissists create a gap between what you see and what they say. They might tell you they love you while their actions scream the opposite.
This disconnect leaves you questioning your own perceptions. You might think, “Maybe I’m overreacting,” or, “They didn’t mean to hurt me.” Over time, this internal conflict wears you down. You start rationalizing their behavior, convincing yourself that staying is the right choice.
Victims often:
Justify the narcissist’s actions to avoid conflict.
Believe their survival depends on maintaining the relationship.
Feel protective of their abuser, despite the harm caused.
This mental tug-of-war isn’t your fault. It’s a result of their manipulation, designed to keep you trapped.
Decision Paralysis From Contradictory Information Processing
When you’re bombarded with mixed messages, making decisions feels impossible. Covert narcissists exploit this by feeding you contradictory information. One day, they’re affectionate. The next, they’re cold and distant. This inconsistency keeps you in a state of confusion.
You might find yourself stuck, unable to decide whether to stay or leave. This paralysis isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a natural response to their manipulation. They want you to feel unsure because it gives them control.
Did you know? Research shows that victims of narcissistic abuse often experience symptoms similar to Stockholm Syndrome. They rationalize the abuse, believing it’s necessary for their emotional survival.
Breaking free starts with clarity. Write down their actions and compare them to their words. Seeing the patterns in black and white can help you make sense of the chaos.
Protection Strategies Against Covert Narcissists Who Cheat
Evidence-Based Decision Making In High-Manipulation Environments
Documentation Systems For Tracking Pattern Recognition
When dealing with a covert narcissist, keeping track of their behavior can feel overwhelming. They often rely on confusion and manipulation to keep you second-guessing yourself. That’s why creating a documentation system is crucial. Think of it as your personal logbook for clarity.
Start by jotting down specific incidents that feel off. For example, note the dates and times of unexplained absences, sudden mood changes, or inconsistencies in their stories. Use a notebook, a secure app, or even a simple spreadsheet. Over time, patterns may emerge that confirm your suspicions.
One client I worked with kept a journal of her partner’s behaviors. She noticed a recurring pattern: every time he accused her of being “too controlling,” he’d disappear for hours. This documentation helped her see the manipulation clearly and gave her the confidence to address it.
Tip: Keep your records private and secure. This isn’t about spying—it’s about protecting your emotional well-being.
External Reality Validation Networks And Resources
Covert narcissists thrive on isolating you. They make you doubt your instincts and question your reality. Building a network of trusted people can help you stay grounded. These could be close friends, family members, or even a therapist.
Share your observations with someone you trust. For example, if your partner claims they were “working late,” but something feels off, ask a friend for their perspective. Sometimes, an outside opinion can validate what you already suspect.
Online support groups or forums for narcissistic abuse survivors can also be invaluable. Hearing others’ experiences might help you recognize similar patterns in your relationship.
Reminder: You’re not alone. Reaching out for support isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a step toward clarity.
Emotional Insulation Tactics For Ongoing Interactions
Grey Rock Implementation Without Self-Abandonment
The “grey rock” method is a popular strategy for dealing with manipulative individuals. It involves becoming as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible to avoid feeding their need for attention. But here’s the catch: you don’t have to lose yourself in the process.
Instead of shutting down completely, focus on limiting emotional reactions. For example, if they try to provoke you, respond with neutral phrases like, “I see,” or, “That’s interesting.” Keep your tone calm and avoid engaging in arguments.
However, don’t neglect your own needs. Make time for activities that bring you joy, whether it’s reading, exercising, or spending time with supportive friends. Staying connected to yourself is just as important as managing their behavior.
Yellow Rock Implementation Without Self-Abandonment
If you’re co-parenting or can’t fully disengage, the “yellow rock” method might work better. This approach involves maintaining polite but firm communication. Think of it as a balance between being neutral and setting boundaries.
For instance, if they criticize you, acknowledge their comment without agreeing. You could say, “I understand your perspective,” and then redirect the conversation to a neutral topic. This keeps interactions civil while protecting your emotional energy.
Pro Tip: Practice setting boundaries in low-stakes situations first. It gets easier with time.
Strategic Disengagement From Circular Conversations
Have you ever felt trapped in a conversation that goes nowhere? Covert narcissists love circular arguments—they keep you stuck and emotionally drained. Learning to disengage is key.
When the conversation starts looping, calmly say, “I think we’ve covered this. Let’s revisit it later.” Then, physically remove yourself from the situation if possible. This isn’t about avoiding conflict; it’s about protecting your peace.
In my experience, clients who master this tactic often feel a sense of empowerment. One client shared how she used this strategy during an argument. Instead of getting drawn in, she calmly ended the discussion and went for a walk. The result? She felt more in control and less emotionally exhausted.
Reminder: You don’t have to win every argument. Sometimes, walking away is the best choice for your mental health.
Conclusion
Covert narcissists cheat because of their deep psychological needs and manipulative tendencies. Their actions often follow predictable patterns, leaving you emotionally drained and questioning your reality.
Recognizing these behaviors is crucial for protecting yourself and starting the healing process. By understanding the differences between overt and covert narcissism, you can identify manipulation and emotional abuse more effectively.
This awareness fosters resilience, helping you rebuild your confidence and safeguard your well-being. Remember, you’re not alone, and taking steps to protect yourself is a powerful act of self-care.
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Co-Parenting With A Narcissist
Frequently Asked Questions
What makes covert narcissists different from overt narcissists when it comes to cheating?
Covert narcissists cheat more discreetly. They hide behind a facade of innocence, unlike overt narcissists who are more openly arrogant. Their subtle manipulation and emotional withdrawal make their infidelity harder to detect.
Why do covert narcissists blame their partners for their cheating?
Blaming you shifts the focus away from their actions. They justify their behavior by claiming you’re neglectful or overly critical. This tactic helps them avoid guilt and keeps you questioning yourself instead of holding them accountable.
Can covert narcissists feel guilt after cheating?
Rarely. Their lack of empathy and entitlement often prevent genuine guilt. If they show remorse, it’s usually to manipulate you into staying or to maintain their image, not because they truly regret their actions.
How can you spot the early signs of cheating in a covert narcissist?
Look for emotional withdrawal, sudden secrecy, or unexplained absences. Changes in communication, like new phrases or vague answers, can also signal divided attention. Trust your instincts if something feels off.
Why do covert narcissists use gaslighting during infidelity?
Gaslighting keeps you confused and doubting your reality. By denying events or twisting facts, they maintain control and make it harder for you to confront their cheating. It’s a deliberate manipulation tactic.
Is it possible to rebuild trust with a covert narcissist after infidelity?
Rebuilding trust is challenging. Covert narcissists rarely take full accountability or change their behavior. Without genuine effort on their part, the cycle of manipulation and betrayal often continues.
How can you protect yourself emotionally from a cheating covert narcissist?
Set boundaries and focus on self-care. Use documentation to track patterns and seek support from trusted friends or therapists. Emotional insulation techniques, like the grey rock method, can help you maintain your peace.
Why do covert narcissists choose specific affair partners?
They pick partners who are unlikely to expose them, like those in vulnerable situations or with something to lose. This strategic choice minimizes the risk of getting caught and ensures they stay in control.