Do narcissists know they are narcissists? The answer is not simple. Self-awareness in narcissists can change every day. Some people with narcissistic traits notice their actions more when they feel strong or get compliments. They may act less aware of themselves when they feel stressed.
Their mood, what others say, or even looking at social media can change how much a narcissist sees their own habits. Self-awareness in narcissism is not always the same. It depends on what is happening and how the person feels right then.
Key Takeaways
Narcissists’ self-awareness can change with their mood and place.
Private self-awareness is about your own feelings. Public self-awareness is about how others see you.
Narcissists might see what they do but not know why. Culture affects how people view narcissistic traits.
Narcissists often protect their self-image and avoid their flaws.
Self-awareness is different for everyone; some narcissists see their traits but have trouble accepting them.
Self-Awareness in Psychology
What Is Self-Awareness
Self-awareness means you notice what you think and feel. You also see how your actions affect other people. Experts say self-awareness starts when you are very young. For example, Lewis and Brooks-Gunn found that kids see themselves in a mirror at about 18 months old. This means your brain learns self-awareness as you get older.
Self-awareness helps you make good choices and have better friendships.
Private vs. Public
There are two ways to think about self-awareness. Private self-awareness is when you think about your own feelings. Public self-awareness is when you care about how others see you. Both are important. Sometimes, you focus on your own thoughts. Other times, you worry about what others think of you.
Self-Reflection
Self-reflection helps you learn from what you do. You might ask, “Why did I do that?” or “Did I hurt someone’s feelings?” Many experts use tests to check self-reflection. Some examples are:
Self-Reflection and Insight Scale (SRIS)
These tests help you find out what you are good at and what you need to work on.
Barriers
Some things can block self-awareness. Stress, fear, or denial make it hard to look at yourself honestly. Sometimes, you do not want to think about your mistakes. This can stop you from getting better. Even people with personality disorders, like narcissism, have these problems.
Theory | Key Points |
|---|---|
Philippe Rochat | Five levels of self-awareness in kids, from knowing they are different to feeling self-conscious. |
Sigmund Freud | Early life shapes how you see yourself and your feelings. |
Erik Erikson | Personality grows in eight steps, shaped by your social life. |
Jean Piaget | You build self-awareness by mixing your own ideas with what others tell you. |
Personality Disorders
Personality disorders change how you see yourself. If you have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), self-awareness can be hard. You might notice some things you do but not know why you do them.
NPD and Insight
People with NPD want others to notice them and think about themselves a lot. You might see these habits but not know the real reasons. It is hard to look at yourself honestly. You might call your actions “narcissistic” but not understand what that really means.
Evidence | Explanation |
|---|---|
Narcissists may see some bad behaviors but not know why | You might notice what you do but not know what causes it. |
They may call their actions wrong but not know the deeper reasons | You know something is off but do not think about why. |
Defense Mechanisms
Defense mechanisms keep you from facing hard truths. You might say you do not have flaws or blame others. These habits make it hard to change. Therapies like CBT and DBT help you see these habits and work on them.
Comparison
Other personality disorders, like borderline personality disorder (BPD), also make self-awareness hard. Studies show people with BPD avoid thinking about themselves. This can hurt their friendships. Getting better at self-awareness helps you make good choices and get along with others.
Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists? The answer depends on how much you can look at yourself and think about your actions. You can get better at self-awareness if you practice and get help.
Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists
If you ask, “Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists,” the answer is not simple. It is more complicated than just yes or no. Studies show self-awareness in narcissists changes for many reasons. Some people with narcissistic traits know what they do. Others do not notice their own actions. Let’s see what research says about this.
Research Findings
Self-Labeling
You might wonder if people with narcissistic traits see these traits in themselves. Research shows narcissists often like others who act like them. They notice these traits because they have them too. This means some narcissists know about their own behaviors. They may even think their actions are normal or good.
Narcissists often see narcissistic traits in other people.
They sometimes say they have these traits too.
They usually accept these traits in themselves and others.
Admission Rates
Not every narcissist says they are a narcissist. How many admit it can change by age, gender, or how you ask. Big studies show results can be very different.
Study Population | Admission Rate | Method Used | Notable Findings |
|---|---|---|---|
Clinical Men | 75% | Diagnosis | |
Clinical Women | 25% | Diagnosis | Fewer women diagnosed |
General Men | 7.7% | Survey | Higher rates in men |
General Women | 4.4% | Survey | Lower rates in women |
Different tests for narcissism can give very different results. Some tests measure different things. Younger people often show more narcissism. Social media and culture can change these numbers.
Cultural Differences
Culture affects how you see yourself. In some places, being bold is good. In other places, it is not. Western cultures like people who stand out. This can make narcissistic traits more common. Other cultures may not like these traits, so people hide them.
Gender roles matter too. Grandiose traits are linked to masculinity. Vulnerable traits are linked to femininity.
Culture can change how likely someone is to admit narcissistic traits.
Factors
Intelligence
How smart you think you are can change how you see yourself. Studies show that good feedback about intelligence makes people feel special. They may show more narcissistic traits. Bad feedback can make people feel less special. They may show fewer narcissistic behaviors.
Feedback Type | Effect on Self-View | Change in Narcissism |
|---|---|---|
Positive IQ Result | Feel smarter | More narcissistic |
Negative IQ Result | Feel less smart | Less narcissistic |
This means your view of your own intelligence can change how much you notice or admit narcissistic traits.
Social Feedback
What people say about you matters. If friends or family give feedback, you may react in different ways. Narcissists often keep a good view of themselves. They may ignore bad feedback or blame others. Some people with narcissistic traits use what others say to feel better about themselves.
Social feedback can change how you see yourself, but narcissists often twist feedback to fit their own ideas.
Environment
Your childhood and home life can change your self-awareness. If parents praise you too much or set no rules, you may get narcissistic traits. Neglect or abuse can also affect you.
Childhood abuse or neglect
Parents who praise too much
Unrealistic expectations from parents
Parents who are not consistent or neglectful
These things can make it hard for you to see your own flaws or admit them.
Common Misconceptions About Narcissists’ Self-Awareness
Many people think narcissists never know what they do. This is not always true. Some narcissists notice their actions but do not see them as bad. Others only notice when someone tells them. New research shows self-awareness in narcissists is not all-or-nothing.
Overt narcissists may admit their traits more easily.
Covert narcissists may hide their traits, even from themselves.
Both types can sometimes see their own traits, but may not want to change.
As a psychologist, I have seen clients who know they have narcissistic traits and feel proud. Others feel ashamed and try to hide them. You might know someone who acts this way. If you do, remember self-awareness is a spectrum, not just on or off.
If you ask, “Do Narcissists Know They Are Narcissists,” now you know the answer depends on many things. Personality, intelligence, feedback, and culture all matter. Knowing these things helps you understand why some people notice their narcissistic traits and others do not.
Narcissists’ Self-Perception
How does a narcissist see themselves? Their self-perception uses tricky thinking. People with narcissistic traits do not often say they are wrong. They use different ways to protect how they see themselves. Let’s look at how this happens.
Rationalization
Narcissists often make excuses for what they do. Even if others see problems, they explain their actions away. They might say their choices are needed or even brave. They tell stories that make them look good.
Justification
A narcissist may act like they are always right. They think they know the truth better than anyone. This makes them feel special. If you question them, they change the story to fit what they want. They often say their actions help others or keep them safe.
They think they decide what is true.
They change facts to protect their self-image.
They might say, “I had no choice,” or “Anyone would do this.”
Minimization
If you point out a problem, a narcissist may make it seem small. They might say, “It wasn’t that bad,” or “You’re making a big deal.” This helps them avoid feeling bad. They often say their actions did not hurt anyone.
They ignore or make the harm seem less.
They do not talk about how others feel.
They may joke or use sarcasm about serious things.
Projection
Projection means blaming others for your own mistakes. A narcissist may say you are selfish or bossy, even if they act that way. This takes the focus off their own actions.
They say, “You’re the one with the problem.”
They blame others for what they do.
This helps them not face their own flaws.
Awareness vs. Acceptance
You might wonder if narcissists know about their traits. Many notice some things they do. But knowing is not the same as accepting.
Knowing vs. Admitting
A narcissist may see some patterns in themselves. They might even say they are hard to deal with. But real acceptance means understanding and owning these traits. Without acceptance, they do not change.
Just knowing does not make relationships better.
Acceptance means seeing these traits as part of you.
Many narcissists only notice but do not accept.
Cognitive Dissonance
Cognitive dissonance is when your actions and beliefs do not match. For narcissists, this is confusing. They want to think they are good, but their actions hurt others. This makes them deny or blame others.
They feel bad when they see their own flaws.
They may twist facts or deny things to feel better.
Gaslighting can happen here, making others doubt themselves.
Selective Insight
Narcissists sometimes notice their actions, but only in some cases. They may think they are smart or charming, but ignore how others feel. Studies show people with narcissistic personality disorder often guess wrong about how others see them.
Insight Level | Description |
|---|---|
Low | Narcissists do not see how others view them. |
Study | Carlson and Oltmanns (2015) found more symptoms meant less accuracy in judging others’ opinions. |
You might see a narcissist admit some traits, but they rarely accept the full impact. This gap between knowing and accepting keeps real change from happening.
Do Narcissists Care
You might ask if narcissists care about what they do or how others feel. As a psychologist, I have seen many people with narcissistic traits struggle with this. Their feelings can be hard to understand and sometimes seem mixed up.
Emotional Response
Shame
When you talk to a narcissist about their actions, you might see a big reaction. Shame is often the first feeling that shows up. This feeling can be so strong that it makes their mood change fast or even makes them angry. Many narcissists do not like feeling shame, so they try to hide it or push it away.
Defensiveness
Defensiveness happens a lot. If you tell a narcissist about a problem, they may feel attacked. They might argue, blame you, or talk about something else. This helps them protect how they see themselves. You might see them avoid the topic or leave the talk.
Narcissists can get very angry when you confront them.
They act defensive because they feel their ego is under attack.
They often do not care about your feelings.
When others show emotion, narcissists may feel insulted.
They might blame others or change the story to avoid blame.
Their sense of being special can make their reactions strong and hard to guess.
Indifference
Sometimes, narcissists act like they do not care at all. This can help them not feel hurt. They might ignore your feelings or pretend their actions do not matter.
Evidence Description | Key Points |
|---|---|
They may avoid or leave, which makes therapy harder. | |
Trouble with emotions can hurt their self-esteem | They may act better than others or not care about the therapist. |
Their feelings can change quickly | They can go from angry to feeling small, which slows therapy. |
Narcissists often confuse therapists because their feelings change so much. They may not know how to name or understand their feelings, so it is hard for them to think about themselves.
Motivation
Change Barriers
You might wonder, “Why do narcissists not change?” The biggest reason is that admitting a problem feels like losing who they are. Real change needs them to want it inside. Pressure from others does not work well. Learning to care about feelings is also hard. Many narcissists have trouble seeing or understanding feelings in themselves and others.
Saying there is a problem feels like losing their self-image.
Real change needs them to want it and work for it.
Learning empathy and emotional skills is often skipped.
Therapy
Therapy can help narcissists learn more about themselves. Treatments like Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT) help people think about their thoughts and feelings. Therapy tries to help you see your own mistakes and understand others better. Over time, this can help you think in new ways and have better relationships.
Evidence Description | Source |
|---|---|
MBT helps people learn about their feelings and thoughts. | Psychiatry Podcast (2023) |
Therapy helps narcissists see themselves more clearly. | Dr. Mazzella (2022) |
Therapy helps people care more and see themselves in new ways. | Psychiatry Podcast (2023) |
External Pressure
Most narcissists do not get help just because others want them to. They often want to keep their special image or look good to others. Sometimes, seeing their own pain or mistakes can make them want to change. When they notice their actions hurt others, they may start to care more about changing.
You might see some narcissists only change if it helps their image or status. Real change usually starts when they feel their own feelings and see why better relationships matter.
Conclusion
You can see that narcissists have different self-awareness levels. Some know their traits, but others only notice what they want. This helps them protect how they see themselves.
Studies found some important things:
Study | Main Insight |
|---|---|
Hyatt et al. (2018) | Grandiose narcissists think they are better than others. |
Schalkwijk et al. (2021) | Problems with identity can cause trouble with friends. |
Stolz et al. (2021) | Narcissists care less about others’ feelings in groups. |
Things like culture, personality, and what people say affect self-recognition. When you get better at self-awareness, you can have stronger friendships and do better in therapy.
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Frequently Asked Questions
Do narcissists ever admit they are narcissists?
Some narcissists say they have these traits, mostly the overt ones. Many do not want to admit it or make their actions seem smaller. Studies (Carlson & Oltmanns, 2015) show that admitting it depends on their personality and where they are.
Can therapy help a narcissist become more self-aware?
Therapy can help people notice their actions. CBT and MBT are treatments that help you think about what you do. Many people start to see patterns, but real change is slow and needs effort.
Why do narcissists react strongly to criticism?
Narcissists react strongly because criticism hurts how they see themselves. Many feel shame or get angry. Research (Hyatt et al., 2018) shows that being defensive helps them protect their ego.
Are children with narcissistic traits aware of their behavior?
Some children notice what they do, but self-awareness grows as they get older. Helping early is good. Research (Lewis & Brooks-Gunn, 1979) says kids start to know themselves young, but real insight comes later.
What signs show a narcissist is becoming more self-aware?
You might see them admit mistakes, ask for advice, or show empathy. These things mean they are growing. Therapy and honest talks help people become more self-aware.