If you’re asking, “How Do Narcissist Treat Their Mom,” you’ll find that narcissists often use emotional exploitation and lack empathy toward their mothers. When considering how do narcissist treat their mom, you’ll notice they may gaslight, use triangulation, or control finances to manipulate her.
Sometimes, when you look at how do narcissist treat their mom, they pretend to care, but their concern isn’t genuine. Many mothers hear hurtful comments like, “You’re an embarrassment,” or “You should be ashamed of yourself.” Narcissists might say, “You never call me,” or blame their mom with statements such as, “It’s your fault your dad left me.”
Experts explain that how do narcissist treat their mom often leaves mothers feeling confused, isolated, and undervalued. In this guide, you’ll find real-life examples and advice to help you understand how do narcissist treat their mom and learn ways to cope.
Key Takeaways
Narcissists often trick their moms by using their feelings. They make their moms feel bad or think they cause the narcissist’s emotions.
Narcissists do not show much care for others. They often ignore what their mom needs and do not care about her feelings.
Gaslighting is when they deny things or change what was said. This can make moms feel mixed up and unsure about what really happened.
Narcissists might use triangulation to start fights in the family. This can make brothers and sisters not trust each other and compete.
They try to control their moms with unfair rules and break boundaries. This makes moms feel weak and worried.
Narcissists may take money from their moms or try to control their money. This is called financial exploitation and happens a lot.
In public, narcissists act like they care about their moms. At home, they are mean and ignore them, which hurts their moms’ feelings.
When moms get older, narcissists may act even worse. They might try to control more or ignore their moms, which can hurt their health.
How Do Narcissist Treat Their Mom
Emotional Exploitation
Narcissists use emotional exploitation to control their moms. You might see that your feelings are used for their gain. Here are some ways this can happen:
Manipulation
Narcissists use manipulation to get what they want. They might twist your words to make you feel guilty. Sometimes, they say things like, “If you loved me, you would do this.” These requests are often not fair. This can make you doubt your own choices.
A narcissistic mother makes her kids feel bad for being independent. She makes them feel like they are never good enough.
She compares her kids to others, which causes jealousy and low self-esteem.
The mother controls every part of her kids’ lives. She treats them like they are just a part of her. This makes it hard for them to be themselves.
She might make her kids take care of her feelings. This creates an unhealthy relationship.
Guilt-Tripping
Guilt-tripping is a strong tool for narcissists. You might hear, “After all I’ve done for you, this is how you treat me?” This makes you feel like you owe them. You may start to think you must always help them.
These tricks make you feel like you owe them. This keeps the unhealthy cycle going.
Narcissists blame others for their feelings. This makes you feel guilty for things that are not your fault.
Validation Seeking
Narcissists want praise and attention from their moms. You may find yourself always telling them they did well. They may not thank you for your support. If you do not give them enough attention, they might get mad or ignore you.
Lack of Empathy
A big sign of narcissism is not caring about others’ feelings. When you ask, “How Do Narcissist Treat Their Mom,” you see they ignore your needs. This can make you feel like you do not matter.
Ignoring Needs
Narcissists often do not help their moms. Your requests for help may be ignored. They act like your problems are not important.
“To the narcissist, empathy is a weakness. They see vulnerability as a threat, not a bridge. Their lack of emotional empathy makes it easier to ignore how other people are feeling.”
Dismissing Feelings
If you share your feelings, a narcissist may not care. They might say, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You’re overreacting.” This can make you question your own feelings.
“Empathy is a foreign concept to narcissistic mothers, as they are unable to understand or relate to the emotions of others. They prioritize their own desires and emotions above all else, dismissing or invalidating their children’s feelings without hesitation.”
Emotional Coldness
Narcissists can act cold and distant. You may feel your child does not care about your life. They rarely comfort you when you need help.
Common Misconceptions About How Narcissists Treat Their Mothers
Many people think narcissists are always mean to their moms. But their actions can be sneaky and hard to see. Sometimes, they act nice in public but are mean at home. Studies show both overt and covert narcissists use emotional exploitation and lack empathy.
Overt narcissists criticize openly. Covert narcissists use silent treatment or act in sneaky ways. Experts say both types hurt their moms the same way. Moms feel sad, confused, and lose confidence.
If you wonder, “How Do Narcissist Treat Their Mom,” remember it is not simple. Emotional exploitation and lack of empathy are common. But the signs are not always easy to spot. Research shows that moms with narcissistic kids feel lonely and hurt for a long time. As more people notice narcissism, emotional health gets worse. This shows how serious these actions are.
Gaslighting Tactics
Gaslighting is a way narcissists control and confuse their moms. You might notice they make you question what really happened. You may start to doubt your own memories. This part will show how these tricks work and how they hurt you.
Denial
Narcissists often say things did not happen. They do not accept facts. This can make you feel unsure about what is true.
Refusing Events
You might hear, “That never happened,” when you talk about something hurtful. Narcissists use this to make you forget your own experiences. For example, if you remind your child about a broken promise, they may say you made it up.
Twisting Words
Narcissists change your words to make you look wrong. You might say, “I felt hurt when you yelled at me.” They could answer, “You’re too sensitive. I never yelled.” This makes you wonder if your feelings are real.
Doubt Induction
They make you doubt your own mind. You start to wonder if your memories are right. After a while, you may feel mixed up and stop trusting yourself.
“Narcissistic parents often use gaslighting. This means they make their children question what is real. It leads to confusion and self-doubt.”
Some gaslighting tricks are:
Saying past events did not happen or changing the story to make you look forgetful or dishonest.
Calling you too sensitive or saying you are not thinking clearly when you talk about unfair treatment.
Blaming you for being unstable or not caring enough.
Triangulation
Triangulation is when a narcissist brings another person into a fight. This makes the family confused and causes people to compete.
Creating Conflict
A narcissist might tell your other kids things you never said. This can start fights and make people not trust each other. For example, they might say, “Mom likes your sister more,” even if it is not true.
Sibling Rivalry
You might see your kids try to win approval. The narcissist wants them to fight for attention. This makes it hard for siblings to trust each other.
Control Tactics
Narcissists use triangulation to control the family. They act as the “go-between” and only share things that help them. This keeps everyone feeling unsure.
“Triangulation makes the family toxic. It stops trust and good communication.”
You might notice these actions:
Telling professionals they are the only responsible family member.
Making children doubt their memories or turn against you.
Making siblings fight for attention or approval.
Psychological Impact on Mothers
Gaslighting and triangulation can hurt you a lot. You may feel nervous, sad, or unsure of yourself. Over time, you might lose confidence and feel alone.
Triangulation makes family members not trust each other and feel angry.
Kids might feel like family problems are their fault, which can make them anxious or sad.
You may have low self-esteem and not trust your own thoughts.
If you wonder how do narcissist treat their mom, gaslighting and triangulation are very harmful. These actions can make you feel lost, alone, and unsure about what is real.
Control and Domination
Narcissists use control and domination with their mothers. Your child might make strict rules for you. They may ignore your boundaries or want you to be perfect. These actions can make you feel powerless and worried.
Unrealistic Demands
Narcissistic children want their moms to do more than normal. You might feel like you can never do enough.
Perfectionism
You may feel you must be perfect all the time. Narcissistic children see you as part of themselves. They want you to act in ways that make them look good. If you mess up, they might get mad or upset. This can make you feel stressed and scared to make mistakes.
Withholding Approval
Your child may not give you praise often. Narcissists only show love if you meet their high standards. You might try hard to please them, but they rarely thank you. This can make you feel unappreciated and desperate for approval.
Compliance Pressure
You may feel you must agree with your child. Narcissists use guilt to make you feel bad if you say no. For example, they might say, “If you cared, you would do this for me.” Over time, you might give in just to avoid fights.
Many moms say these demands make them feel trapped. You may feel you must give up your own needs to keep peace.
Common examples of unrealistic demands include:
Your child wants you to put their needs first, not yours.
They see your wish for independence as a threat.
They use guilt to make you feel responsible for their feelings.
Boundary Violations
Narcissists often do not respect personal boundaries. You may notice your privacy and freedom are not respected.
Privacy Invasion
Your child might go through your things or listen to private talks. They may ask personal questions or want to know everything about you. This can make you feel exposed and uneasy.
Overstepping Limits
Narcissists often ignore your limits. If you say “no” or want space, they may get angry or make you feel guilty. You might feel you cannot set rules in your own home.
Invasive Behavior
Your child may expect you to care for their feelings, even if it hurts you. This can make you feel more like a helper than a parent.
Experts say boundary problems can cause confusion, worry, and low self-esteem. Kids with weak boundaries may have trouble knowing who they are.
Research shows that parental overcontrol and boundary violations can have serious effects:
Study | Findings |
|---|---|
Miller et al., 2018; Sun et al., 2023 | Parental overcontrol is linked to psychological distress and vulnerable narcissism. |
Borelli et al., 2015 | Overcontrolling parents increase anxiety in children. |
Shute et al., 2019 | Overcontrol leads to more depressive symptoms. |
Ryan & Deci, 2017 | Overcontrol frustrates basic needs and encourages narcissistic traits. |
Kohut, 1971 | Lack of healthy frustration from parents can lead to narcissism. |
Winnicott, 1945 | A “good enough” mother allows children to develop normally through healthy frustration. |
Dickinson & Pincus, 2003; Miller et al., 2011 | Vulnerable narcissism involves fragile self-image and hypersensitivity. |
If you wonder How Do Narcissist Treat Their Mom, control and domination are a big part. You may feel your needs and boundaries do not matter. Over time, these actions can hurt your confidence and feelings.
Financial Exploitation
Financial exploitation happens a lot with narcissists and their moms. Your child might try to control your money or ask about inheritance. Sometimes, they even take your things without asking. These actions can make you feel scared and worried about what will happen.
Money Manipulation
Narcissists use money to control their moms. You might see these things happen often.
Guilt for Support
Your child may try to make you feel bad for not giving them money. They might say, “After all I’ve done for you,” or “Family helps family.” This makes you feel like you must help, even if it hurts you.
Threats of Withdrawal
Sometimes, narcissists say they will stop helping you if you do not do what they want. They might say, “If you don’t pay for this, I won’t visit,” or “I’ll cut you off.” These threats make you scared and force you to agree.
Taking Belongings
You might see your child take your things without asking. This could be money, jewelry, or things from your house. Sometimes, they say they need it more or that they deserve it.
Many moms say these tricks make them feel stuck. You might feel like you have no choice but to give in.
Common financial exploitation tactics include:
Controlling finances: Your child handles your bank accounts or spending.
Financial gaslighting: They make you think you cannot manage money.
Creating debt: They use your name for credit cards or loans.
Sabotaging employment: They stop you from working or moving up.
Financial monitoring: They watch every dollar you spend.
Double standards: They spend a lot but judge your spending.
Aging and Inheritance
As you get older, financial exploitation can get worse. Narcissists may focus on your money and what they will get later.
Early Pressure
Your child might ask you to change your will or give them money early. They could say, “You won’t need it,” or “I deserve it now.” This pressure can start before you are ready to decide.
Neglect for Gain
Some narcissists ignore their moms to get more money. They may not help you, hoping you will leave them things because you feel bad or alone.
Elder Abuse
Financial abuse often gets worse as you age. Studies show most elder financial exploitation is done by adult children. You might also face emotional abuse or be ignored.
Research says 74.3% of caregivers take money from elders. Emotional abuse and neglect are also common, with rates over 37%.
Table: Financial Exploitation by Narcissistic Adult Children (Peer-Reviewed Studies, 2000-2025)
Type of Abuse | Prevalence (%) | Typical Perpetrator | Source/Study Year |
|---|---|---|---|
Financial Exploitation | 74.3 | Adult Child | Social Work Review, 2022 |
Emotional Abuse | 40.0 | Adult Child | Gerontology Journal, 2021 |
Neglect | 37.1 | Adult Child | Elder Care Study, 2020 |
Financial Abuse (Temperamental) | 39.8 | Adult Child | Family Dynamics, 2019 |
Financial Abuse (Dangerous) | 58.3 | Adult Child | Aging & Abuse, 2023 |
Real-life scenarios include:
Your child wants to control your money, so you have little say.
You feel pushed to give gifts or money you cannot afford.
Your child does not help you but still wants your things when you are gone.
If you see these actions, you are not alone. Many moms deal with financial exploitation from narcissistic children. Knowing these tricks can help you stay safe and get help.
Public vs. Private Behavior
Narcissists act one way in public and another at home. Your child might be nice to you when people are watching. At home, they may ignore you or say mean things. This can make you feel mixed up and lonely.
Superficial Caring
Narcissists want people to think they are loving. In public, they show off your relationship. They want others to praise them for being a good child. This caring is not always real.
Public Praise
Your child might say nice things about you in front of others. They may talk about your successes or thank you for help. This makes them look good to everyone else. Studies show narcissists use public praise to help their own image, not to make you feel special.
Private Criticism
When you are alone, your child stops being nice. They may point out your mistakes or say you embarrass them. Sometimes, they ignore your feelings or needs. This change from nice to mean can make you doubt yourself.
Image Management
Narcissists care a lot about their reputation. They want people to see them as caring and successful. You might notice your child:
Brags about family wins in public.
Wants compliments from others.
Tries to look good, even if things are bad at home.
Behavior | Description |
|---|---|
Public Display | |
Attention Seeking | Looks for praise from friends, neighbors, or coworkers. |
You might feel your child cares more about what others think than about your real feelings.
Narcissistic parents act warm in public but are critical at home. This makes you feel confused and only valued when you help their image.
Social Manipulation
Narcissists use social events to control how people see you and them. They might change stories or act different around others.
Contradicting Stories
Your child may tell you one thing and others something else. They might change facts to look better or make you look bad. This can make you question your memory.
Undermining Mother
Sometimes, narcissists put you down in front of people. They may make jokes about you or share secrets to embarrass you. This helps them feel better and makes you feel small.
Narcissistic children often say mean things about their moms to feel important.
They may try to compete with you and make you feel less.
Talks often end up being about them, not you.
Social Gatherings
At family parties, your child may act like the perfect son or daughter. They help you in front of others but ignore you after. This keeps people from seeing the real problems at home.
Kids with narcissistic parents often feel bad about themselves, anxious, or sad. The switch between public praise and private criticism can make you feel unsure and alone.
Key Takeaways:
Narcissists act nice in public but mean in private.
They use social events to control how people see you and them.
This can hurt your confidence and mental health.
Anger and Disdain
Narcissistic children often act angry and show dislike toward their moms. You might see this even when you talk about small problems. This can leave you feeling mixed up and sad. Let’s see how these actions show up every day.
Overreactions
Minor Issues
Your child might get very mad over little things. If you forget a date or ask for help, they may react strongly. Narcissists sometimes act like you did something really bad, even if it was small.
Narcissists get angry if you question their power, even a little.
They act mean if you set rules or ask things.
Their anger can last a long time and shows they hold grudges.
Emotional Outbursts
Your child might yell, slam doors, or say mean words. These outbursts can happen suddenly. You may feel scared or worried when this happens.
Narcissistic parents often blame their kids for problems. They try to hide their own mistakes. This trick makes them angry, especially over small things.
Blame Shifting
Narcissists do not like to say they are wrong. You might hear, “You made me mad,” or “It’s your fault I feel this way.” They blame you for how they feel.
Common signs of blame shifting include:
Saying you cause family problems.
Not admitting when they are wrong.
Making you feel like their anger is your fault.
Table: Typical Overreaction Patterns in Narcissistic Children
Trigger | Narcissist’s Reaction | Impact on Mother |
|---|---|---|
Minor mistake | Intense anger | Anxiety, confusion |
Setting boundaries | Hostility | Fear, self-doubt |
Asking questions | Blame shifting | Guilt, frustration |
Emotional Distress
Anxiety
You might feel nervous around your child. You may worry about saying or doing the wrong thing. This worry can make daily life and friendships hard.
Depression
Always being criticized and yelled at can make you sad. You might stop liking things you used to enjoy. Feeling down often comes after many emotional attacks.
Self-Esteem Loss
Narcissists make you doubt yourself. You may start to think you are not good enough. Over time, you lose confidence.
Many moms say they feel worthless after years of anger and blame from their narcissistic children.
Quick Tips:
Remember, their anger is not your fault.
Talk to friends or professionals for help.
Take care of yourself to feel better.
You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. Knowing these signs can help you protect your feelings.
Aging Mothers
As you age, you may notice your child’s narcissistic behaviors become stronger or change in new ways. Many mothers find that their child’s need for control and attention grows as they get older. This can make your later years more stressful and lonely.
Intensified Control
Narcissistic children often increase their control over aging mothers. You might feel your choices shrink as your child steps in more.
Decision Making
Your child may start making decisions for you, even when you do not ask. They might choose your doctors, living arrangements, or finances. This can make you feel powerless. Sometimes, they say it is for your own good, but you lose your voice in important matters.
Increased Manipulation
Manipulation can become more frequent. Your child may use your health or memory issues to get what they want. They might say, “You’re not remembering things right,” or, “Let me handle this, you can’t do it anymore.” This can make you doubt yourself and rely on them more.
Dependency
You may feel forced to depend on your child for daily needs. Some narcissistic children use this to keep you close and under their control. Experts note that covert narcissistic children often act helpless or create problems only you can solve. This keeps you tied to them and increases your emotional stress.
As you grow older, your child’s demands may become heavier. You might feel trapped by their need for attention and control.
Narcissistic traits can intensify with age, especially if your child faces their own health or social problems.
Older adults with narcissistic children often feel more isolated and anxious.
Cognitive decline in either you or your child can make these behaviors worse.
Neglect
While some children become more controlling, others may withdraw support as you age. This neglect can hurt both your body and your feelings.
Withdrawing Support
Your child might stop helping with chores, errands, or visits. They may say they are too busy or blame you for needing help. This can leave you feeling abandoned.
Ignoring Care Needs
You may notice your health needs go unmet. Your child might ignore doctor’s appointments, forget your medication, or dismiss your pain. This can put your safety at risk.
Elder Neglect
Elder neglect is a serious problem. Studies show that as mothers become frailer, narcissistic children may pull away or only help when it benefits them. You might face emotional neglect, where your feelings and needs are ignored. Experts warn that this can lead to depression, loneliness, and even health decline.
If you feel your child’s behavior has changed as you age, you are not alone. Many mothers face increased control or neglect from narcissistic children. Recognizing these patterns can help you seek support and protect your well-being.
Family Impact
Sibling Dynamics
Living with a narcissistic family member can change how siblings get along. Siblings may start to feel upset and confused. Narcissistic behavior can make brothers and sisters compete and not trust each other.
Rivalry
Your family might feel like a contest. Narcissists often pick favorites, which makes others jealous. Siblings may try hard to get attention or approval. Instead of helping each other, they compete.
Narcissistic family members make siblings fight for attention.
Emotional needs are not met, so siblings argue more.
This fighting can make siblings stop being close.
Division
Narcissistic actions can split the family into groups. You might feel you have to choose sides. This makes it hard to trust or depend on each other.
Siblings might stop talking because of fights.
Family members may pick sides, causing more arguments.
Trust is lost, and support goes away.
Enabling
Sometimes, siblings help the narcissist by ignoring bad actions. A brother or sister may defend the narcissist to avoid trouble. They might hope to stay safe or get special treatment.
Some siblings help the narcissist to protect themselves.
Others pretend nothing is wrong, which stops healing.
Enabling keeps the family problems going.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent or sibling can hurt your feelings. You may not feel cared for or safe. These problems can cause codependency and other struggles.
System Disruption
Narcissistic behavior affects the whole family, not just one person. You may see family roles change and support fall apart. These changes can last a long time.
Family Roles
In these families, people often get stuck in certain roles. You might be the “peacemaker,” “scapegoat,” or “invisible child.” These roles can make you unhappy and stop you from growing.
Children of narcissists get love only if they act a certain way.
You may feel you must please others to be valued.
Emotional tricks can make you doubt your own feelings.
Support Breakdown
Healthy families help each other. Narcissistic behavior can ruin this support. You may feel alone, even with family around.
Emotional support is rare or only given sometimes.
Family members may stop helping each other.
You might find it hard to set rules or ask for help.
Long-Term Effects
Narcissistic behavior can hurt you for many years. You may have trouble with self-esteem, trust, and mental health.
Many people feel anxious, sad, or even get PTSD.
It can be hard to talk or set rules in relationships.
Some people repeat these problems in other friendships.
Children with narcissistic parents often feel sad about not having a loving family. You may have low self-worth, trouble trusting, and not know who you are. These problems can last into adulthood and affect your whole life.
Conclusion
Narcissists see you as someone who should always help them. They do not treat you like your own person. You might deal with tricks to control your feelings, feel guilty, or have your money taken. They want to be treated better than others and think you are just part of them.
Narcissists plan their actions on purpose, which makes them different from other family problems. This unfair relationship can make you feel alone and not important. Keep in mind, these habits—always wanting control, feeling they deserve more, and not showing feelings—are special to narcissistic families and can really hurt how you feel.
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Frequently Asked Questions
What are signs that a narcissist mistreats their mom?
You may notice constant criticism, lack of empathy, or controlling behavior. Narcissists often ignore your feelings and needs. They may blame you for their problems or use guilt to get what they want.
Can a narcissist change how they treat their mom?
Change is rare. Narcissists usually do not see their actions as wrong. Therapy can help, but you cannot force them to change. Focus on setting boundaries for your own well-being.
How can you protect yourself from a narcissistic child?
Set clear boundaries. Limit what you share. Seek support from friends or professionals. Remember, you deserve respect and kindness.
Why do narcissists act nice in public but mean at home?
Narcissists care about their image. They want others to see them as caring. At home, they drop the act and show their true feelings.
What should you do if you feel financially exploited?
Keep your finances private. Do not give out passwords or account details. Talk to a trusted advisor or counselor if you feel pressured.
How does a narcissistic child affect family relationships?
Narcissists can cause fights between siblings. They may pick favorites or create jealousy. This can break trust and make family members feel alone.