Dealing with a narcissist at work requires strategic boundaries and structured communication to protect your team’s wellbeing. A narcissistic coworker exhibits clear signs—monopolizing conversations, refusing accountability, and demanding excessive admiration while showing zero empathy for colleagues. These signs of a controlling coworker create toxic dynamics that erode morale and productivity across your organization.
Successfully managing narcissism in the workplace means documenting specific behaviors, setting non-negotiable expectations, and leveraging group dynamics to minimize their disruptive impact. When narcissist coworker signs emerge—like taking credit for others’ work or hostile reactions to feedback—knowing how to deal with a narcissistic employee becomes critical.
The key to how to manage a narcissist at work isn’t confrontation but consistent enforcement of professional boundaries while keeping them away from positions where they can damage team cohesion. The risks associated with not knowing how to manage a narcissist employee are significant:
Risk Type | Description |
|---|---|
Bad behavior leads to poor performance and weakens the overall health of the company. | |
Talent Drain and Diminished Morale | Employees may leave, morale can plummet, and the flow of new ideas may slow down. |
Compromised Decision-Making | Leaders may make poor decisions when they only heed the opinions of ‘yes-men.’ |
Damaged Reputation | A toxic culture can harm your brand and complicate the hiring process. |
Key Takeaways
Make clear goals so everyone knows what to do and does not get confused.
Set strong rules to keep your team safe from bad actions.
Talk in a planned way to keep talks easy and clear.
Spot narcissistic traits early so you can fix problems before they get worse.
Give helpful feedback that mixes praise with ways to get better.
Help your team work together and talk openly to make the group stronger.
Spotting Narcissistic Traits
To manage a narcissist employee, you first need to notice the signs. These traits show up in everyday talks and can hurt how the team works if ignored.
Key Behaviors
Grandiosity
Some employees want lots of attention and praise. They talk about their wins and may make their role sound bigger. Watch for these actions:
Talking too much about their own success or fancy things.
Doing things to get noticed, like telling wild stories.
Showing off awards or talking about them often.
Wanting praise and thinking they deserve special treatment.
Making their work sound more important than it is.
Lack of Empathy
A narcissist employee often does not care about others’ feelings. You might see these signs:
Not caring about coworkers’ problems or needs.
Saying things that hurt others’ feelings.
Not noticing when someone is sad or stressed.
Not showing interest in what others go through.
Tip: If someone blames others for mistakes or uses charm to get their way, these are warning signs too.
Narcissism vs. Confidence
It is key to know the difference between confidence and narcissism. Confident workers help the team, but narcissists can cause problems. Here is a table that shows how they are different:
Healthy Confidence | Narcissism |
|---|---|
Likes feedback and tries to get better. | Gets upset when criticized. |
Wants the team to do well and work together. | Cares most about getting praise. |
Shows care for others and helps teammates. | Does not care about others and tries to control things. |
Gets respect by working hard and knowing a lot. | Wants status by bragging and making things sound bigger. |
Confident workers help build trust and make the team stronger. Narcissists can make people feel tense and not trust each other.
Team Interaction Signs
Narcissistic traits show up when people work in groups. Look for these habits:
Getting upset if not given credit, sometimes acting angry or sulking.
Talking over others and not listening to their ideas.
Making the team compete or picking favorites.
Ignoring how others feel and only caring about their own goals.
These actions can make the team work badly together, lower spirits, and make talking harder. If you spot these signs early, you can help your team and learn how to handle a narcissist employee.
How to Manage a Narcissist Employee
Set Clear Objectives
You need to set clear goals when you learn how to manage a narcissist employee. This helps keep everyone focused on work and stops confusion. Use facts and clear rules to guide your talks. Here are ways to do this:
Use facts and numbers to show what you expect.
Keep talks about work and avoid personal topics.
Give feedback based on what you see and measure.
Objective Setting Method | Benefit | Example |
|---|---|---|
Written job descriptions | Stops confusion and limits manipulation | “Your job is to handle sales.” |
Measurable goals | Keeps focus on tasks | “Sell 20 units per month.” |
Regular check-ins | Tracks progress and keeps talks on track | Weekly meetings |
Fact-based feedback | Reduces arguments and keeps talks fair | “You met 18 out of 20 goals.” |
Tip: When you use facts and clear goals, you help your team stay on track and avoid drama.
Firm Boundaries
Setting strong boundaries is key when you learn how to manage a narcissist employee. You must show what is okay and what is not. This helps stop bad behavior and keeps the team safe.
Set rules early so everyone knows what is allowed.
Keep your talks about work and do not let anyone cross the line.
Do not let anyone take credit for others’ work.
Protect your team from unfair treatment.
Boundary Type | How It Helps | Example |
|---|---|---|
Time boundaries | Stops late-night demands | “Work hours are 9 to 5.” |
Credit boundaries | Stops stealing ideas | “List all team members on work.” |
Respect boundaries | Stops rude talk | “No insults allowed.” |
Role boundaries | Stops taking over others’ jobs | “Stay in your own role.” |
Setting boundaries early stops people from taking advantage.
Keeping rules helps everyone feel safe and respected.
Note: If someone tries to argue or push limits, stay calm. Only talk when they act right. You can ask for help from a neutral person if talks get tough.
Structured Environment
A strong structure helps you learn how to manage a narcissist employee. When you set clear rules and keep things fair, you lower the chance of bad behavior. You help your team work together and stay honest.
Narcissistic leaders act better when they work with helpful team members. Changes that make things open and fair can stop bad actions and help people do more than their job.
Structure Element | Why It Matters | Example |
|---|---|---|
Team rules | Keeps everyone on the same page | “Follow the team plan.” |
Open meetings | Makes actions clear | “Share updates with all.” |
Accountability systems | Stops cheating | “Track who does what.” |
Support for teamwork | Builds trust | “Help each other finish tasks.” |
Use open talks and clear plans to keep things fair.
Make sure everyone knows what is expected.
Give praise for teamwork, not just solo wins.
Tip: When you keep things structured, you help your team stay strong and stop problems before they start.
Communication Strategies
When you learn how to manage a narcissist employee, you need strong communication strategies. You must stay clear, calm, and focused. These methods help you keep control and protect your team.
Direct Approach
You should use a direct approach when you talk to a narcissist employee. Speak clearly and use simple words. Do not let emotions take over. If you need to address a problem, focus on what you see and hear. Avoid blaming or guessing motives.
Use assertive statements like, “I noticed you missed the deadline.”
Stay neutral and do not show anger or frustration.
Do not expect a direct confrontation to work with covert narcissists. They may act like victims if you challenge them.
Keep your message short and stick to facts.
Tip: When you use a direct approach, you lower confusion and help everyone understand what needs to change.
Here is a table of proven communication strategies:
Strategy | Description |
|---|---|
Be specific | Say exactly what you need. |
Recognize manipulation | Watch for tricks or excuses. |
Use written agreements | Write down what you agree on. |
Provide praise | Give honest praise when earned. |
Maintain focus | Keep the talk about work and goals. |
Avoid Power Struggles
You must avoid power struggles with narcissist employees. If you argue or fight for control, you risk making things worse. Narcissists often want to win or prove they are right. This can hurt teamwork and make the workplace toxic.
Do not get pulled into arguments.
Stay calm and do not react to provocation.
Focus on the task, not on winning the conversation.
Benefits of avoiding power struggles:
You reduce the risk of division and backstabbing.
Your team works together better and people stay longer.
Note: If you feel a power struggle starting, step back and redirect the talk to work goals.
Constructive Feedback
Giving feedback to a narcissist employee can be hard. You need to start with genuine praise. This helps lower their anxiety and makes them listen. After praise, share what needs to improve. Use clear examples and show how their actions affect others.
Begin with a positive comment about their work.
Point out what needs to change using facts.
Help them see how their actions impact the team.
Stay calm and do not attack their character.
Techniques for constructive feedback:
Flattery: Use honest praise to open the conversation.
Empathy building: Explain how their behavior affects others.
Tip: When you use praise and empathy, you help the employee accept feedback and grow.
Performance Management
Objective Evaluation
You should use clear and fair ways to check a narcissist employee’s work. Always use facts and numbers. This helps stop fights and keeps things honest. Narcissist employees act different during reviews.
They do worse with penalty-based contracts. Less narcissistic employees do better with these. With bonus-based contracts, both groups do about the same.
Contract Type | Narcissistic Employees Performance | Less Narcissistic Employees Performance |
|---|---|---|
Penalty-framed | Worse | Better |
Bonus-framed | Similar | Similar |
Tip: Use bonus-based goals to keep things fair and positive. Look at what the employee does well, not just mistakes.
Handling Resistance
Narcissist employees may push back during reviews. You need strong plans to stay in control and calm. Here are ways to handle pushback:
Be clear when you talk. Say what you see and what must change.
Talk about actions, not the person. Focus on what they do.
Watch for certain behaviors. Take notes about what happens at work.
Use a set way to manage performance. Have regular meetings and give written feedback.
Note: Stay calm if the employee argues or blames others. Bring the talk back to facts and goals.
You can use a checklist to keep reviews on track:
Start with clear facts.
Say what needs to get better.
Ask the employee for their thoughts.
End with a plan for next steps.
Addressing Manipulation
Narcissist employees may use tricks to avoid blame or control others. You need to spot these tricks and keep your team safe. Some common tricks are:
Gaslighting: Making people doubt their own memory.
Playing the Victim: Pretending to be hurt while causing problems.
Projection: Blaming others for their own actions.
Love Bombing: Giving too much praise to win trust.
Triangulation: Making coworkers fight each other.
Hoovering: Trying to pull someone back after rules are set.
Smear Campaign: Spreading lies to hurt someone’s name.
You can stop manipulation by doing these things:
Know that narcissistic behavior is hard to change. Focus on managing the workplace.
Build a supportive team. Encourage open talks and honest feedback.
Train employees. Teach them how to spot and handle narcissistic behaviors.
Tip: When you build a strong team and set clear rules, you lower the risk of manipulation. Stay alert and help your coworkers.
Use these ideas to keep your workplace safe and fair. You help everyone do their best and protect your team from harm.
Protecting the Team
If you put a narcissist in an important job, your team can be in danger. You must keep your team safe from feeling sad, losing people, and not trusting each other. Acting fast helps everyone work together better.
Collaboration
Narcissist employees can make teamwork hard. They want attention and may not listen to others. This can stop your team from working well. Some team members might feel left out or not want to share ideas.
Evidence Description | Impact on Team Collaboration |
|---|---|
Team narcissism stops teams from working together. | |
Narcissistic members use others’ hard work. | Hurts how the team works. |
One narcissist can make the whole team work worse. | Team does not work as well. |
Bad effects get worse over time. | Team relationships and work suffer. |
To keep your team strong, try these things: Encourage open talks. Let everyone share ideas in meetings. Reward teamwork. Praise group wins, not just solo wins. Set clear roles. Make sure everyone knows their job. Watch for unfair behavior. Step in if someone tries to take credit for others’ work.
When you help your team work together, you keep them close and help them do well.
Conflict Management
Problems can grow fast when a narcissist is on your team. You need to fix these problems before they get big. Here are ways to handle conflict:
Keep your hopes real. Talk about work only.
Do not take mean words or tricks personally.
Do not share secrets with the narcissist.
Stay calm and do not fight.
You can also use these steps to stop problems: 1. Make clear, strong rules for everyone. 2. Give feedback that is direct and written. 3. Talk about work results, not personal stuff. 4. Remind the team about respect and values. 5. Teach about feelings and talking. 6. Watch how the team feels and acts. 7. Do not reward bad behavior. 8. Give consequences if needed.
Staying calm and focused helps you stay in charge and keep your team safe from drama.
Support for Coworkers
Coworkers can feel upset or hurt by a narcissist’s actions. You need to help them feel safe and important. Here are ways to help:
Tell coworkers to use the Employee Assistance Program for help.
Ask them to write down any bad things they see.
Build a support group with trusted coworkers.
Tell them to talk to HR if things get worse.
Remind them to take care of their health and think about other choices if needed.
Help them set rules with the narcissist.
Teach them to avoid fights and not take things personally.
Suggest they keep records of their work and agreements.
Risk Type | Description |
|---|---|
Always being criticized and not praised makes people feel bad. | |
High Turnover | Bad leaders make people unhappy and leave their jobs. |
Stress and Burnout | Surprises and feelings can make people tired and stressed. |
Erosion of Trust | Trust and teamwork get worse when leaders make people compete or fight. |
Keeping your team safe means acting fast, making clear rules, and giving support. When you do this, you help everyone feel safe and do their best work.
Manager Well-Being
Stress Management
Managing a narcissist employee can make you feel stressed. You might face tough problems every day. It is important to know what causes stress so you can deal with it.
Description | |
|---|---|
Lack of Empathy | Narcissistic employees often do not care about others’ feelings. This makes it hard for managers to connect with them. |
Fragile Self-Esteem | You have to handle their fragile self-esteem. This can make their actions hard to predict. |
Aggressive Behavior | Narcissistic employees may act mean or get back at you if they feel challenged. |
Need for Intervention | You must use careful plans and steps to manage narcissistic behaviors well. |
You can try easy ways to lower stress. Here are some ideas:
Mindfulness and meditation help you notice your feelings. These can make you feel calm and less worried.
Exercise can lift your mood and make you feel stronger. Moving your body helps you handle stress better.
Journaling lets you write about your day. You can spot problems and think of ways to fix them.
Therapy gives you a safe place to talk. A therapist can teach you new ways to cope.
Support system means having people to talk to. Friends, family, or coworkers can help you feel better.
Tip: Take breaks when you need to. You can go outside or stretch for a few minutes. Small breaks help you stay calm and focused.
Seeking Support
You do not have to do everything by yourself. You can ask for help if you feel stressed. Having a support group helps you stay strong.
Talk to coworkers you trust about what you are going through.
Join manager groups or online forums to share tips.
Use company help like Employee Assistance Programs.
Ask mentors for advice when you need it.
You can also meet with your boss often. Sharing your worries early can stop bigger problems. You might find others have had the same issues.
Remember: Asking for help is a good thing. You take care of yourself and show your team how to do the same.
When to Escalate
Sometimes, you need to get more help. You should know when to tell HR or higher managers about problems. Follow these steps:
Write down what happened, including dates and who saw it.
Note how the behavior hurt work or made the team feel bad.
Talk to HR if the behavior breaks company rules or makes work unsafe.
Be ready to show proof of how the problem hurt work and people.
Try other ways like talking or mediation before going to HR.
If things get too hard or hurt your health or job, talk to HR. Learn your company’s rules for complaints and follow them to stay safe from payback.
Note: Keeping good notes helps you explain the problem. You can show you tried to fix it before asking for help.
Conclusion
You can manage a narcissist employee by taking clear, practical steps:
Watch how their actions affect your well-being and take care of yourself.
Set strong boundaries and keep a record of any problems.
Use smart strategies, like linking your goals to theirs and giving positive feedback.
Remind yourself not to take their behavior personally and seek support from trusted coworkers.
Know when it is time to move on if things do not improve.
Transform your Inner Chaos into authentic personal growth!
Stay informed on the latest research advancements covering:
Co-Parenting With A Narcissist
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the main signs of a narcissist employee?
You might see bragging all the time. They do not care about others’ feelings. They blame others for mistakes. They want special treatment and ignore team needs. You can spot these things in meetings and daily work.
How do I set boundaries with a narcissist employee?
You make rules clear and easy to follow. You talk about work and not personal stuff. You do not let them take credit or be rude. If they break rules, you give consequences.
Can a narcissist employee change their behavior?
They might change a little if you set strong rules. Giving feedback can help a bit. Big changes almost never happen. You should focus on what they do, not who they are.
Should I confront a narcissist employee directly?
You talk to them in a calm and clear way. You use facts and do not get emotional. You do not argue or fight for control. You bring the talk back to work goals.
How do I protect my team from a narcissist employee?
You help your team work together and talk openly. You make sure everyone knows their job. You praise the group when they do well. If you see unfair actions, you step in fast.
What if a narcissist employee tries to manipulate me?
You watch out for tricks like blaming others or acting like a victim. You write down what happens and give feedback based on facts. If things get hard, you ask HR or someone neutral for help.
When should I escalate issues to HR?
You go to HR if the employee breaks rules or makes work unsafe. You keep notes about what happened. You follow your company’s steps for reporting problems.
Can a narcissist employee succeed in a leadership role?
It almost never works out well. Narcissists hurt trust and teamwork. You should not let them have important jobs to keep your team safe.