When you deal with the 7 Types of narcissistic marriage problems, you might see emotional abuse and manipulation. There is also a strong need for praise. These problems can hurt trust.
They can make you feel alone. Many people feel stuck in these marriages. About 70% say they feel this way. Divorce happens more often, especially with covert narcissism.
Statistic Description | Value |
|---|---|
Increased likelihood of divorce in covert narcissist marriages | 20% more likely |
Divorced individuals citing covert narcissism as a significant factor | Nearly 1 in 4 |
Participants feeling trapped in narcissistic marriages | 70% |
Key Takeaways
Notice if your partner does not show empathy. This can make you feel lonely and distant.
Look out for manipulation tricks like gaslighting. These tricks can make you question your own thoughts and feelings.
Know that chronic criticism can hurt your self-esteem. Hearing bad comments all the time can make you anxious or sad.
Spot emotional withholding, like the silent treatment. This can make you feel left out and unsure.
Watch for cheating and broken boundaries. Cheating can ruin trust and make you feel unsafe in your marriage.
See if your partner acts grand or entitled. This can make you feel not valued and controlled.
Notice if your partner never takes blame. If they never admit mistakes, you may feel helpless and confused.
7 Types of narcissistic marriage problems
1. Lack of Empathy
Emotional Detachment
Your partner might not care about your feelings. They may act cold or distant. This is common in narcissistic relationships. When someone does not have empathy, they cannot understand your feelings. You can feel lonely even when you are with them.
“Lack of empathy is the main sign of a narcissist. Empathy means feeling with someone and understanding their emotions. Narcissists cannot do this. They cannot feel what others feel. They would need to be open and vulnerable to do that.”
Impact on Partner
If your spouse does not show empathy, you may feel alone. You might feel like no one understands you. This can make you sad and hurt. Studies show that when there is no empathy, couples fight more and feel more pain.
Evidence | Description |
|---|---|
Lack of Empathy and Marital Distress | Studies show that when spouses do not have empathy, they misunderstand each other and feel more upset. |
Physiological Responses | Not feeling close because of no empathy can hurt how happy you feel in your marriage. |
Perspective Taking | When couples cannot see each other’s point of view, they fight more. Empathy helps solve these problems. |
2. Manipulation & Control
Gaslighting
Gaslighting happens a lot in narcissistic marriages. Your partner may make you question your own memories. They might say things like, “That did not happen,” or “You are making it up.” This can make you feel confused and unsure.
Gaslighting
Playing the Victim
Projection
Love Bombing
Triangulation
Hoovering
Silent Treatment
Financial Control
Narcissists may also control money in the marriage. Your partner might not let you use money or may hide it from you. You could find it hard to make your own choices about money.
Financial control is a way narcissists keep power. It is also called financial abuse.
They may hide money, lie about finances, or use money to hurt you.
This can make it hard for you to be independent or feel safe.
Hiding money in secret accounts.
Lying about money or not telling the whole truth.
Using money to punish you or take away support.
If your partner controls the money, you may feel stuck. This can hurt your feelings and make it hard to leave.
3. Chronic Criticism
Verbal Attacks
Narcissists often say mean things in marriage. Your partner may pick on how you look or what you do. These words can be very harsh. You may feel like you never do anything right.
You may feel more anxious because of the bad environment.
You could become sad or depressed from all the criticism.
Your self-esteem may get worse, and you may feel not good enough.
Trust and closeness can fade, and you may feel alone.
Self-Esteem Issues
Hearing criticism all the time can hurt your self-esteem. You may start to believe the mean things your partner says. This can make you feel worthless and sad. Over time, you may lose confidence and stop seeing friends and family.
The 7 Types of narcissistic marriage problems often include constant criticism. This can make you feel powerless. If you see these signs, it is important to get help and take care of yourself.
The 7 Types of narcissistic marriage problems can change your whole life. You may deal with feeling alone, being controlled, and always being criticized. If you notice these problems early, you can start to heal and take back control.
4. Emotional Withholding
Silent Treatment
Sometimes your partner stops talking to you for days. This is called the silent treatment. It can make you feel invisible. Your spouse uses silence to punish or control you. You might feel confused and worried when this happens.
Your partner may ignore your questions or not answer.
You could feel rejected and alone.
The silent treatment often makes you doubt yourself.
Therapists say emotional withholding in narcissistic marriages shows up in many ways:
Your spouse wants praise and admiration all the time.
They care about their own feelings and ignore yours.
They act like a victim to get sympathy.
Guilt trips and silent treatments help them control you.
Stonewalling keeps you from getting support.
Silent treatment is not just being quiet. It is a way to keep power and make you feel small.
Lack of Support
You may feel like your partner never helps you. When you need comfort or encouragement, they do not show up. This lack of support can make you feel alone.
Behavior | How It Affects You |
|---|---|
Ignoring your feelings | You feel unimportant |
Not helping with stress | You feel overwhelmed |
Refusing to listen | You feel misunderstood |
Withholding affection | You feel unloved |
Your spouse may not give praise, affection, or help. You might feel alone even when you are together. Over time, this can hurt your confidence and happiness.
5. Infidelity & Boundaries
Cheating
Narcissistic partners often break trust by cheating. You may notice your spouse looks for attention from others. They might flirt or have affairs. Studies show narcissism links to more cheating.
Narcissists often act on impulse and want excitement.
Both grandiose and vulnerable narcissism can lead to cheating.
Women with grandiose narcissism like infidelity more.
Men with vulnerable narcissism also like infidelity more.
Narcissistic traits like entitlement and lack of empathy increase the risk.
Cheating is not just about physical acts. It breaks trust and makes you feel unsafe in your marriage.
Deception
You may find your partner lies or hides things from you. Deception can mean secret messages, hidden relationships, or lying about where they go. Narcissists often break boundaries and do not respect your privacy.
Your spouse may say you are too sensitive when you set boundaries.
Boundary violations cause exhaustion and stress.
You may feel manipulated and lose trust.
Financial stress and less intimacy often follow.
Boundary Violation | Impact on Marriage |
|---|---|
Ignoring privacy | You feel unsafe |
Lying about activities | You lose trust |
Manipulating finances | You feel controlled |
Dismissing your needs | You feel exhausted |
6. Grandiosity & Entitlement
Special Treatment
Your partner may think they deserve more than others. They expect you to meet their needs first. You might notice they blame you for problems and do not take responsibility.
They see their needs as most important.
They expect you to agree with everything.
They show little empathy and act cold.
Grandiose Behavior | How You Might Feel |
|---|---|
Blaming others | Frustrated |
Prioritizing self | Unappreciated |
Expecting compliance | Controlled |
Showing no empathy | Isolated |
Special treatment means your partner sees you as part of themselves, not as an equal.
Ignoring Needs
You may feel your partner never cares about your feelings. Their sense of entitlement makes you feel less important. You might struggle to set boundaries because they demand so much.
You may feel manipulated and tired.
Isolation is common when your needs are ignored.
Setting boundaries helps protect you.
Refusing to accept manipulation can help your mental health.
Long-term change needs commitment and support.
The 7 Types of narcissistic marriage problems often include grandiosity and entitlement. These traits can make you feel alone and powerless. Seeing these signs helps you protect yourself and get help.
7. No Accountability
If you live with a narcissistic partner, you might see no accountability. Your spouse almost never says they made a mistake. They do not take responsibility for what they do. This can break trust and make you feel helpless.
Denial
Denial happens a lot in these marriages. Your partner may never admit they did something wrong. Even if you show proof, they might say, “I did nothing wrong.” This can leave you feeling upset and confused.
Narcissists use different ways to avoid blame. You might notice these things in your marriage:
Tactic | Description |
|---|---|
Your spouse acts like the victim and ignores their own bad actions. | |
Feigning Ignorance | They pretend they do not understand, so you cannot hold them responsible. |
Redirecting Attention | Your partner talks about your mistakes to hide their own. |
Playing the Morality Card | They talk about their good deeds to look better and hide their bad behavior. |
False Accusations | Your spouse blames you for things you did not do to avoid blame. |
Denial can make you doubt what you remember. You may start to question your own feelings.
Blame Shifting
Blame shifting is another way narcissists avoid blame. Your partner may say every problem is your fault. If you talk about an issue, they might say, “You did this,” or “It’s your fault.” This keeps you stuck in fights.
Blame shifting makes your marriage feel toxic. Here is how it can hurt you:
Blame shifting means problems never get solved.
You might feel confused, frustrated, or not good enough.
Your partner’s actions can make you doubt yourself.
Your self-esteem can get worse over time.
The person who shifts blame does not face their own problems.
Problems grow bigger, and you feel more distant.
You may start to question your own thoughts and feelings. This can make you feel helpless and unsure. Talking gets harder, and fights get worse because you feel ignored.
Fights get worse when your partner ignores your worries.
This behavior often goes with emotional or verbal abuse.
Your partner keeps control by never taking blame.
If your spouse never admits they are wrong, you feel like every problem is yours. This can make you feel tired and alone.
Long-term Effects
Self-Esteem
Living with a narcissistic partner can change how you feel about yourself. You might start to question your worth. You could feel broken or not good enough. Your confidence may slowly go away. Many people in these marriages have low self-esteem. You may stop trusting yourself. You might feel sad or lose hope.
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD): You might get PTSD from always feeling scared and worried.
Depression: Being put down all the time can make you depressed.
Feelings of inadequacy: You may think you never do things right.
Low self-worth: You could lose confidence and feel weak.
You can build your self-esteem again. Experts share some ways to help:
Intervention Strategy | Description |
|---|---|
Cognitive Behavioral Techniques | Say positive things to yourself and use mindfulness to feel better about who you are. |
Building a Support Network | Spend time with friends and family to feel cared for. |
Allowing Time for Grieving | Take time to feel sad or angry about what happened. |
Engaging in Empowering Activities | Try new things or set goals to help you feel stronger. |
Seeking Professional Help | Talk to therapists who know about trauma to learn ways to cope. |
Focusing on Personal Identity and Self-Compassion | Find what you like and be kind to yourself while you heal. |
Anxiety
You might feel nervous every day. Narcissistic partners often make you feel like you must make them happy. No matter what you do, it never seems enough. You may worry about how they will react. You could feel scared to speak up.
If you try to stand up for yourself, you may get criticized. This can make you feel anxious or even sad. Many people in these marriages deal with:
Low self-esteem: You may question your worth.
Anxiety and depression: The ups and downs can hurt your mental health.
Isolation: You might feel alone and without support.
You can learn ways to handle anxiety. Here are some ideas:
Ignore mean words and actions.
Take care of yourself and be with people you trust.
Make friends or join support groups.
Set clear rules to protect your feelings.
Know when it is best to leave if things are too hard.
Isolation
Narcissistic partners often keep you away from friends and family. You may feel stuck and alone. Being cut off from others can make things worse. You might lose people who support you. This can make you feel lonely and sad.
Isolation in these marriages is often hard to see.
Emotional isolation makes you feel even more alone.
Couples with fewer friends are less happy and more likely to divorce.
Not having shared friends makes divorce more likely.
Narcissistic marriages can cause both emotional and physical isolation.
This kind of isolation can leave deep emotional pain.
You may find it tough to ask for help. Isolation can make everyday life harder. You might feel anxious and have trouble keeping friendships. Some people even think about suicide.
Conclusion
Seeing narcissistic marriage problems early can help keep you safe. These seven problems—lack of empathy, manipulation, criticism, emotional withholding, infidelity, grandiosity, and no accountability—can hurt trust and how you feel about yourself. You can do things to protect yourself:
Speak up for yourself.
Make clear rules for what you will accept.
Find people who can help you.
Know when it is time to leave.
Transform your Inner Chaos into authentic personal growth!
Stay informed on the latest research advancements covering:
Co-Parenting With A Narcissist
Frequently Asked Questions
What are common signs of narcissism in marriage?
Your partner might ignore your feelings or control what you do. They may often say mean things about you. Experts like Dr. Craig Malkin say not caring about your feelings and always wanting praise are big signs.
Can narcissistic marriage problems improve with therapy?
Therapy can help you make rules and feel better about yourself. A 2018 study says couples therapy works best if both people want to change. If your partner will not go, you might need your own support.
How does narcissistic behavior affect children?
Kids can feel worried, mixed up, or not loved. The American Psychological Association says children in these homes often have trouble trusting and feeling good about themselves. You can help by giving them care and a safe place.
Is financial control a form of abuse?
Yes, controlling money is a kind of abuse. Your partner might hide money or not let you use it. The National Domestic Violence Hotline says almost 30% of controlling relationships have money abuse.
What should you do if you feel isolated in your marriage?
You can talk to friends or family you trust. Support groups help many people feel less lonely. Dr. Ramani Durvasula says it is good to make friends outside your marriage.
Are narcissists likely to cheat?
A 2022 study says narcissists cheat more often. You might see your partner act sneaky or break rules. Both men and women with these traits are more likely to cheat.
Can you set boundaries with a narcissistic spouse?
You can make rules, but your partner might not listen. Experts say to use simple, clear rules. Dr. Wendy Behary says to take care of yourself and get help if your partner ignores your rules.
Where can you find help for narcissistic marriage problems?
You can talk to a therapist, join a support group, or call a hotline. The National Domestic Violence Hotline and Psychology Today have help. Many people also like online groups to share their stories.