7 Signs A Narcissist Has Someone Else

Last updated on December 28th, 2025 at 01:31 am

1. Emotional Distance

When you notice emotional distance in your relationship, you may feel confused and hurt. This distance often appears before you see other clear signs a narcissist has someone else. You might sense that something has changed, but you cannot always explain it. Let’s look at how this emotional gap shows up.

Less Affection

A narcissist often starts out showing you lots of love and attention. Over time, you may see that affection fade. You might wonder why hugs, kisses, or kind words become rare. This shift is not random. It happens for reasons rooted in how narcissists think and act.

Reduced Communication

You may notice your partner stops sharing details about their day. Conversations become short. They may answer with one word or ignore your questions. You feel left out of their life. This change can make you feel lonely, even when you sit together.

Lack of Support

Support from a partner means listening, caring, and helping. When a narcissist grows distant, you lose this support. You may share a problem and get no response. Sometimes, they act bored or annoyed when you need comfort. You start to feel like your needs do not matter.

Withdrawal Patterns

Narcissists often pull away to keep control. They may stop showing affection to make you chase after them. This pattern keeps you guessing and hoping for their attention. You may feel anxious, never sure when they will be warm or cold.

Narcissists use emotional distance as a tool. They often:

• Withdraw affection to control you.

• Show little empathy or care.

• Use unpredictable affection to keep you attached.

• Manipulate you to avoid feeling out of control.

Cold Behavior

Cold behavior is another warning sign. You may feel like your partner has turned into a stranger. Their words and actions seem harsh or uncaring.

Indifference

You might notice your partner stops caring about your feelings. They act as if your happiness or sadness does not matter. You may feel invisible or unimportant.

Avoidance

A narcissist may avoid spending time with you. They cancel plans or ignore your calls. You may find yourself alone more often, wondering what changed.

Mood Changes

Their mood may shift quickly. One moment, they seem fine. The next, they act irritated or distant. This unpredictability keeps you on edge.

When narcissists act cold, you may:

• Feel confused by their sudden distance.

• Notice they ignore your needs.

• Start to doubt yourself and your worth.

• Experience anxiety from never knowing what to expect.

Emotional distance is one of the most common signs a narcissist has someone else. If you see these changes, trust your instincts. Your feelings are valid, and you deserve answers.

2. Increased Secrecy

If your partner starts acting secret, you might feel worried. When someone hides things, trust can break. Many people think this is a clear Sign A Narcissist Has Someone Else. Narcissists hide things to keep you from knowing the truth.

Hiding Devices

Your partner may protect their phone or computer. They might turn screens away or leave to take calls. This can make you feel left out.

Phone Privacy

You may see your partner change their phone password. They always keep their phone close and never leave it alone. If you ask to use their phone, they might say no or get upset.

Social Media Secrecy

Your partner could make secret social media accounts. They might hide online friends or block you from seeing posts. You may see them close apps fast when you walk by.

Deleted Messages

You might notice messages are missing from their phone or social media. They delete texts and call logs so you cannot see them. If you ask about missing messages, they may not answer.

Experts say narcissists often:

• Hide their phones from you.

• Delete messages to hide things.

• Change passwords a lot.

• Dodge questions about what they do.

• Stay unclear about where they go.

Unexplained Absences

You may see your partner is gone more than before. They might have new reasons to leave or stay late at work. These times away can seem strange.

Vague Excuses

Your partner may give reasons that do not make sense. They might say, “I have work,” but not explain what they mean. You may hear excuses that sound odd.

Schedule Changes

You could notice their routine changes fast. They may work late or go out with “friends” you do not know. Their plans may change without warning.

Missing Time

Sometimes, your partner cannot be reached for hours. They do not answer calls or texts. When you ask where they were, their stories may not match.

Red Flag Description
Lots of work plans you cannot check
Social events that do not include you
Strange gaps in their schedule
Canceling plans for odd emergencies
Not answering with no reason
Stories that do not make sense

Relationship experts say secrecy can mean cheating. When narcissists think you might catch them, they get upset. This hiding causes fights and worry. You may feel unsure and nervous. If you see these signs, trust your gut. Secrecy often means something is not right.

3. Changes in Appearance

If your partner suddenly looks different, you might feel confused. This change can mean something is wrong in your relationship. Many people think this is a Sign A Narcissist Has Someone Else. Let’s see what you might notice.

New Style

Your partner may start wearing new clothes. Their outfits look trendy or not like their old style. This change can happen very fast.

Dressing Up

You see your partner trying harder to look nice. They wear fancy clothes, even for small trips. Their outfits seem meant to impress someone new.

Grooming Habits

Your partner spends more time on hair or makeup. They shave more or use new perfumes. You wonder who they want to look good for.

Fitness Focus

Your partner suddenly cares about working out. They join a gym or start running. They talk about health and eat differently. This is not how they acted before.

Tip: If your partner changes their style or grooming fast, they may want attention from someone else. Trust your feelings if these changes seem odd.

Seeking Attention

Narcissists love getting attention. When they want it from others, you may see new actions.

Compliment Fishing

Your partner asks for praise a lot. They say, “Do I look good?” or “Did you see my haircut?” You feel like you must say nice things. This happens all the time.

Showing Off

Your partner brags or posts more selfies. They talk about new skills or show off in front of others. They act different to get noticed.

Sudden Confidence

Your partner acts more sure of themselves. They stand tall and talk louder. They seem proud of how they look. This confidence may not feel real.

Here are some ways narcissists try to hide cheating:

• They gaslight you and make you doubt yourself.

• They blame you for their bad actions.

• They want praise from many people, which can lead to emotional affairs.

• They make you jealous so you feel unsure.

• They give you the silent treatment to control you.

• They say cheating is your fault.

Change in Appearance	What You Might Notice	Possible Reason
New Clothes	Trendy outfits, expensive items	Impressing someone else
Grooming	More time on hair, makeup	Seeking outside attention
Fitness	Sudden gym visits, diet changes	Boosting self-image
Compliment Fishing	Asking for praise	Need for validation
Showing Off	Bragging, posting selfies	Attracting new admirers
Sudden Confidence	Acting proud, bold	Feeling desired elsewhere

If you see these changes, pay close attention. They can mean bigger problems in your relationship. Trust your gut and look for other signs too.

4. Cruelty or Devaluation

When you notice cruelty or devaluation from your partner, you may feel shocked and confused. This shift often happens when a narcissist wants to push you down and lift themselves up. These behaviors can be some of the most painful Signs A Narcissist Has Someone Else.

Harsh Words

Narcissists often use harsh words to hurt you. They want to make you feel small so they can feel powerful. You may hear insults, criticism, or dismissive comments almost every day.

Insults

You might hear your partner call you names like “pathetic” or “lazy” when you share your feelings. These insults are not random. They are meant to break your confidence and make you doubt yourself.

• You may hear, “You’re worthless,” or “No one else would ever want you.”

• These words can make you feel alone and unworthy.

Criticism

Narcissists often start to criticize everything you do. At first, they may have praised you. Now, they find fault in your actions, your looks, or your choices.

1. They may say, “You never do anything right.”

2. They might point out your mistakes in front of others.

3. This constant criticism can wear down your self-esteem.

Dismissiveness

You may notice your partner dismisses your feelings. They might say, “You’re overreacting,” or “You’re being irrational.” This makes you question your own emotions.

Narcissists use gaslighting and blame-shifting to keep control. They want you to doubt your own thoughts and feelings, especially if they are hiding something.

Unfavorable Comparisons

Another way narcissists devalue you is by comparing you to others. These comparisons are meant to make you feel less important.

Comparing to Others

Your partner may say things like, “Why can’t you be more like them?” or “They do it better than you.” This hurts your self-worth and makes you feel like you can never measure up.

Making You Feel Less

You may notice your partner praises others while ignoring your efforts. They might talk about someone else’s looks, skills, or success. This makes you feel invisible.

Undermining Worth

Narcissists often treat you as less than equal. They may act like you are just an asset, not a real partner. You may feel unsupported and unloved.

Here is a table showing common forms of cruelty and devaluation:

Form of Cruelty/Devaluation	Description
Increased Cruelty	You are treated as an asset, not an equal. Empathy and support disappear.
Devaluation	You are belittled and criticized after being praised. Your self-worth drops.
Manipulation Tactics	Love bombing and gaslighting keep you off balance before devaluation starts.

You may notice a cycle. At first, your partner lifts you up. Then, they start to tear you down. The qualities they once loved become reasons for scorn. This cycle is common in relationships with narcissists who are cheating.

• You may feel confused by the sudden change.

• You may start to believe the negative things your partner says.

• You may feel trapped and unsure of your own value.

If you see these patterns, know that you are not alone. Many people experience these behaviors when facing the signs a narcissist has someone else.

5. Manipulation and Lying

Manipulation and lying often happen together with a narcissist. If your partner has someone else, you may see these signs. You might notice your partner changes facts or avoids your questions. Sometimes, they make you doubt what is real. These actions can leave you feeling lost and unsure.

Evasive Answers

When you ask clear questions, a narcissist rarely answers directly. Their stories may change, and details do not match.

Changing Stories

Your partner may tell you one thing today and another tomorrow. Their reasons for where they were or who they saw often change. This keeps you confused and makes trust hard.

Avoiding Questions

A narcissist may avoid your questions by changing the topic. They might give unclear answers. If you ask, “Where were you last night?” they say, “Why do you always ask?” This stops you from getting real answers.

Deflection

Instead of answering, your partner may blame you. They say, “You’re too controlling,” or “You never trust me.” This puts you on the spot and takes focus off them.

Narcissists often lie to get what they want. Studies show narcissists often act unethically and see lying as okay. People who lie a lot may also have more psychopathic traits. These traits are similar to narcissistic ones.

• Narcissistic abuse uses manipulation to change how you think or feel.

• This kind of emotional abuse is common in these relationships.

• Narcissistic partners can hurt your trust and happiness deeply.

• Manipulation is a big part of how narcissists act.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a strong tool narcissists use to confuse you. This trick can make you doubt your memory and feelings.

Making You Doubt

Your partner may say things you remember never happened. They might say, “You’re imagining things,” or “That’s not true.” After a while, you start to doubt yourself.

Blaming You

A narcissist often blames you for their own actions. If you think they are cheating, they might say, “You’re just insecure,” or “You made me do this.” This blame can make you feel guilty for no reason.

Denying Facts

Even if you have proof, your partner may deny it. They might say, “You’re making a big deal out of nothing,” or “That’s not what you saw.” This makes you feel alone and unsure.

Gaslighting causes confusion and makes you doubt yourself. You may feel alone and not good enough as your partner tells lies about your relationship. The cycle of being praised, then put down, then ignored is hard. If a narcissist is hiding another partner, this confusion gets worse. You may question your feelings and feel stuck and lonely.

If you see these signs of manipulation and lying, you may be seeing clear Signs A Narcissist Has Someone Else. Trust your gut and remember your feelings matter.

Signs A Narcissist Has Someone Else

Key Behaviors

Emotional Withdrawal

You might see your partner pulling away from you. They stop talking about their feelings. Deep talks do not happen anymore. This gap between you gets bigger as time goes on. Studies say narcissists use this to control you. They want you to feel unsure. If they have someone else, they act cold and far away. You can feel lonely even when they are next to you.

Secrecy

Secrecy is a big warning sign. Your partner may hide their phone from you. They do not talk about their day. Research shows narcissists with low empathy keep secrets, especially when cheating. They might delete texts or change passwords often. You may notice missing time or odd excuses. This secret behavior can make you feel worried and unsure.

Appearance Changes

If your partner suddenly looks different, it can mean trouble. They may start dressing up more or care about fitness. They might buy new clothes or spend more time getting ready. These changes often happen when a narcissist wants to impress someone new. You may feel confused by these new habits.

Emotional withdrawal and secrecy often happen together. Narcissists use these to make distance and hide what they do. This can make things toxic and cause emotional pain.

Expert Insights

Research Findings

Recent studies show narcissists use tricks and lies to get what they want. They may play mind games, try to control you, or even follow you. These actions can hurt you deeply. A study by Day and others in 2020 found narcissists can act both proud and weak. This mix leads to putting you down and getting angry, which often happens when they have someone else.

Therapist Quotes

• It can be hard to spot a narcissist’s cheating, but some signs are clear.

• If you do not trust your partner, it often means bigger problems.

• Narcissists want attention and praise, which can make them cheat.

• For many narcissists, cheating feels fun and comes with secrets and tricks.

Real-Life Cases

Think about if your partner stops talking to you and hides their phone. They start working out more and buy new clothes. When you ask questions, they give unclear answers. These are classic signs a narcissist has someone else. Many people in this situation feel alone and confused. Their partner’s actions match what experts see in studies.

Conclusion

Knowing the Signs A Narcissist Has Someone Else helps you stay safe. If you see these patterns, trust your gut. Your body can notice warning signs before you think about them. Listening to these feelings helps you catch lies early.

When you spot these signs, you might feel worried or confused. You could start to doubt yourself or feel unsure. You may notice your feelings change a lot or have trouble trusting. Always remember your feelings are important. Watching for these signs lets you make good choices for yourself later.