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The Parasitic Narcissist: How They Drain You Emotionally

How Emotional Vampires Slowly Drain Your Life Force

Video Game Addiction by Som Dutt From https://embraceinnerchaos.com

Last updated on December 18th, 2024 at 04:16 am

Have you ever felt like your energy is being sucked away by someone close to you? Like a vampire draining your emotional lifeblood, leaving you empty and exhausted? If so, you might be dealing with a parasitic narcissist – a toxic individual who feeds off your emotions, attention, and resources. It’s a chilling reality that many of us face, often without even realizing it.

Picture this: You’re in a relationship or friendship that should bring joy, but instead, you’re constantly walking on eggshells, feeling drained and anxious. Sound familiar? You’re not alone. Countless people worldwide are trapped in the web of a parasitic narcissist, their self-esteem eroding with each passing day.

But here’s the thing – you don’t have to suffer in silence anymore. In this eye-opening blog post, we’ll dive deep into the dark world of parasitic narcissists. We’ll explore their manipulative tactics, the devastating impact they have on their victims, and most importantly, how you can break free from their emotional stranglehold. Are you ready to reclaim your life and rediscover your inner strength? Let’s embark on this empowering journey together.

1. The Parasitic Nature of Covert Narcissists

1.1. How Covert Narcissists Feed on Others’ Emotions

Covert narcissists are emotional parasites, constantly seeking validation and attention from those around them. They skillfully manipulate others’ feelings, draining their emotional energy to fuel their own fragile self-esteem. This insidious process often goes unnoticed, leaving victims feeling exhausted and confused.

Unlike their overt counterparts, covert narcissists employ subtle tactics to extract emotional sustenance. They may play the victim, feign helplessness, or use guilt to elicit sympathy and support. By doing so, they create a one-sided dynamic where others constantly cater to their needs.

Covert narcissists’ emotional vampirism is a complex dance of manipulation and control. They thrive on the attention and care they receive, but rarely reciprocate. This imbalance leaves their targets feeling drained and emotionally depleted, often without realizing why.

1.2. The Emotional Vampire Analogy

The term “emotional vampire” aptly describes the covert narcissist’s modus operandi. Like their mythical counterparts, they suck the life force from their victims, leaving them weak and disoriented. This analogy helps us understand the insidious nature of their behavior and its impact on others.

Emotional vampires, or covert narcissists, feed on:
• Attention and admiration
• Sympathy and compassion
• Others’ emotional energy and resources
• Validation and approval

Just as vampires avoid sunlight, covert narcissists shy away from accountability and genuine intimacy. They prefer to operate in the shadows, using charm and manipulation to maintain their façade of normalcy.

1.3. Why Covert Narcissists Need Constant Emotional Supply

At the core of a covert narcissist’s behavior lies a deep-seated insecurity and fragile self-esteem. Their constant need for emotional supply stems from an inability to generate self-worth internally. This emotional void drives them to seek validation and attention from external sources relentlessly.

Covert narcissists’ need for constant emotional supply is rooted in:
• A fragile sense of self
• Inability to self-soothe or regulate emotions
• Fear of abandonment or rejection
• Lack of genuine self-love or acceptance

This insatiable hunger for emotional nourishment leads covert narcissists to engage in manipulative behaviors. They become adept at extracting emotional energy from others, often leaving their victims feeling drained and confused.

2. Tactics Used by Covert Narcissists to Drain You

2.1. Subtle Manipulation Techniques

Covert narcissists are masters of subtle manipulation. They employ a range of tactics designed to control and exploit their targets without raising suspicion. These techniques are often so nuanced that victims may not realize they’re being manipulated until significant emotional damage has been done.

Some common subtle manipulation techniques include:
• Passive-aggressive comments
• Backhanded compliments
• Subtle put-downs disguised as jokes
• Playing on others’ insecurities

By unmasking covert narcissist tactics, we can better protect ourselves from their emotional drain. Recognizing these subtle manipulations is the first step in breaking free from their influence.

2.2. Passive-Aggressive Behaviors

Passive-aggression is a hallmark of covert narcissism. These individuals often express their anger or resentment indirectly, making it difficult for others to confront them directly. This behavior allows them to maintain their façade of innocence while still inflicting emotional harm on their targets.

Examples of passive-aggressive behaviors include:
• Giving the silent treatment
• Making sarcastic or cutting remarks
• Procrastinating or “forgetting” important tasks
• Sulking or withdrawing emotionally

These behaviors create a toxic environment where victims feel constantly on edge, never knowing when the next emotional attack will come. This unpredictability further drains the target’s emotional resources, leaving them exhausted and confused.

2.3. Guilt-Tripping and Emotional Blackmail

Covert narcissists are adept at using guilt as a weapon to control and manipulate others. They employ emotional blackmail to ensure their targets remain compliant and attentive to their needs. This tactic is particularly effective because it exploits the victim’s empathy and desire to maintain harmony in the relationship.

Emotional vampires drain you through guilt by:
• Exaggerating their own suffering or hardships
• Comparing your actions unfavorably to others
• Bringing up past favors or sacrifices they’ve made
• Making you feel responsible for their happiness or well-being

The Parasitic Narcissist: How They Drain You Emotionally
-By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com
The Parasitic Narcissist: How They Drain You Emotionally
-By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com

By inducing guilt, covert narcissists ensure a steady supply of emotional energy from their targets. This constant drain leaves victims feeling responsible for the narcissist’s emotions while neglecting their own needs.

2.4. Playing the Victim Card

One of the most potent tools in a covert narcissist’s arsenal is their ability to portray themselves as the victim in any situation. This tactic serves multiple purposes: it deflects blame, elicits sympathy, and manipulates others into providing emotional support.

When playing the victim, covert narcissists may:
• Exaggerate or fabricate personal hardships
• Downplay their own role in conflicts
• Seek constant reassurance and validation
• Use their “victimhood” to justify manipulative behaviors

This perpetual victimhood creates a dynamic where others feel compelled to cater to the narcissist’s needs, further draining their emotional resources. It’s a vicious cycle that can be difficult to break without recognizing the manipulation at play.

2.5. Gaslighting and Its Emotional Impact

Gaslighting is a insidious form of psychological manipulation used by covert narcissists to make their victims question their own reality. This tactic is particularly damaging because it erodes the target’s self-trust and confidence, making them more susceptible to further manipulation.

Signs of gaslighting include:
• Denying events or conversations that you clearly remember
• Trivializing your emotions or experiences
• Shifting blame onto you for their behaviors
• Presenting false information as fact

The emotional impact of gaslighting can be severe and long-lasting. Victims often experience confusion, self-doubt, and a diminished sense of self-worth. This emotional toll further drains the target’s resources, leaving them vulnerable to continued manipulation.

2.6. Silent Treatment and Emotional Withdrawal

The silent treatment is a powerful tool in the covert narcissist’s arsenal. By withdrawing emotionally and refusing to communicate, they create an atmosphere of uncertainty and anxiety. This tactic is designed to punish the victim and regain control in the relationship.

Understanding and overcoming the narcissist’s silent treatment is crucial for breaking free from their emotional grip. The silent treatment can cause:
• Feelings of rejection and abandonment
• Anxiety and depression
• Self-blame and lowered self-esteem
• A desperate need to win back the narcissist’s approval

This emotional withdrawal drains the victim’s energy as they frantically try to understand what went wrong and how to fix it. It’s a cruel tactic that leaves targets feeling powerless and emotionally depleted.

3. The Emotional Toll of Dealing with a Covert Narcissist

3.1. The Gradual Nature of Emotional Drainage

The emotional toll of dealing with a covert narcissist is often subtle and gradual. Like a slow leak, it drains your emotional resources over time, often without you realizing the full extent of the damage. This insidious process can make it difficult to recognize the abuse and seek help.

The gradual nature of emotional drainage manifests in:
• Slowly diminishing self-confidence
• Increasing self-doubt and second-guessing
• Growing feelings of inadequacy
• A creeping sense of exhaustion and burnout

As the emotional drain continues, victims may find themselves struggling to maintain their sense of self and their relationships with others. The covert narcissist’s influence seeps into every aspect of their life, leaving them feeling hollow and depleted.

3.2. Exhaustion and Burnout

Constant exposure to a covert narcissist’s manipulative tactics can lead to severe exhaustion and burnout. The emotional energy required to navigate their unpredictable moods and demands takes a toll on both mental and physical health.

Signs of exhaustion and burnout include:
• Chronic fatigue and lack of energy
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Insomnia or disrupted sleep patterns
• Physical symptoms like headaches or muscle tension

This state of burnout further empowers the covert narcissist, as their victim lacks the energy to resist manipulation or set boundaries. It’s a vicious cycle that can be challenging to break without external support and intervention.

3.3. Self-Doubt and Lowered Self-Esteem

One of the most damaging effects of covert narcissistic abuse is the erosion of self-esteem and the instillation of persistent self-doubt. Victims often find themselves questioning their own judgment, abilities, and worth.

The impact on self-esteem manifests in:
• Constant self-criticism and negative self-talk
• Difficulty making decisions or trusting one’s instincts
• Feeling unworthy of love or respect
• Apologizing excessively, even for things beyond one’s control

Rebuilding self-esteem after narcissistic abuse is a crucial step in the healing process. It requires conscious effort to reclaim one’s sense of self-worth and challenge the negative beliefs instilled by the narcissist.

The Parasitic Narcissist: How They Drain You Emotionally
-By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com
The Parasitic Narcissist: How They Drain You Emotionally
-By Som Dutt from https://embraceinnerchaos.com

3.4. Anxiety and Depression

Prolonged exposure to a covert narcissist’s emotional manipulation often leads to the development of anxiety and depression. The constant state of uncertainty and emotional turmoil takes a severe toll on mental health.

Symptoms of anxiety and depression may include:
• Persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness
• Excessive worry or fear
• Loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities
• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns

These mental health issues further drain the victim’s emotional resources, making it increasingly difficult to break free from the narcissist’s influence. Seeking professional help is often necessary to address these deep-seated emotional wounds.

3.5. Damaged Relationships and Trust Issues

The impact of covert narcissistic abuse extends beyond the primary relationship, often damaging the victim’s ability to form and maintain healthy connections with others. Trust issues and fear of vulnerability can lead to isolation and further emotional distress.

Relationship challenges may include:
• Difficulty opening up to others
• Fear of intimacy or commitment
• Attracting similar toxic relationships
• Pushing away supportive friends and family

Rebuilding trust and learning to form healthy relationships is a crucial part of healing from narcissistic abuse. It requires patience, self-compassion, and often professional guidance to overcome these deeply ingrained patterns.

4. Recognizing You’re Being Drained by a Covert Narcissist

4.1. Physical and Emotional Symptoms

Recognizing the signs of emotional drainage is crucial for breaking free from a covert narcissist’s grip. The toll of their manipulation often manifests in both physical and emotional symptoms that can be easy to overlook or attribute to other causes.

Common physical symptoms include:
• Chronic fatigue and low energy
• Frequent headaches or migraines
• Digestive issues or unexplained aches
• Weakened immune system and frequent illnesses

Emotional symptoms often include:
• Persistent feelings of anxiety or dread
• Mood swings and emotional instability
• Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
• Feelings of emptiness or numbness




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Frequently Asked Questions

What Are The Key Characteristics Of A Parasitic Narcissist?

A parasitic narcissist is a type of toxic individual who exhibits traits of narcissistic personality disorder while also displaying parasitic tendencies in relationships. These individuals are characterized by their excessive need for admiration, lack of empathy, and tendency to exploit others for their own gain. According to Psychology Today, key characteristics include an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.

Parasitic narcissists take this a step further by actively draining the emotional, financial, and sometimes physical resources of those around them. They often engage in subtle manipulation techniques to maintain control over their victims, creating a toxic and emotionally exhausting environment. Psych Central notes that these individuals may use tactics such as gaslighting, love bombing, and emotional blackmail to keep their victims dependent on them.

The parasitic aspect of their behavior is evident in their constant need for “narcissistic supply” – attention, admiration, and resources from others – without reciprocating or considering the well-being of those they exploit. This one-sided dynamic can lead to severe emotional drain and psychological distress for those in relationships with parasitic narcissists.

How Does A Parasitic Narcissist Differ From Other Types Of Narcissists?

While all narcissists share certain core traits, parasitic narcissists have distinct characteristics that set them apart. According to Very Well Mind, parasitic narcissists are often more covert in their manipulation tactics compared to overt narcissists. They may present themselves as victims or martyrs, using guilt and sympathy to manipulate others into meeting their needs.

Parasitic narcissists are particularly adept at creating emotional dependency in their relationships. Unlike some other types of narcissists who may be more overtly aggressive or grandiose, parasitic narcissists often use subtle emotional manipulation to keep their victims engaged. They may alternate between love bombing and devaluation, creating a cycle of emotional highs and lows that keeps their victims off-balance and dependent.

Another key difference is the extent to which parasitic narcissists rely on others for their emotional and often financial well-being. While all narcissists seek external validation, parasitic narcissists take this to an extreme, often being unable or unwilling to function independently. This constant need for support and resources can be incredibly draining for those in relationships with them, leading to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

What Are The Signs That You’re In A Relationship With A Parasitic Narcissist?

Recognizing the signs of a relationship with a parasitic narcissist is crucial for protecting one’s mental health and well-being. Healthline outlines several key indicators to watch for. One primary sign is a constant feeling of emotional exhaustion. You may find yourself always giving emotional support but rarely receiving any in return.

Another sign is the presence of manipulative behaviors such as gaslighting, where the narcissist makes you question your own reality, or love bombing followed by periods of coldness and withdrawal. You might notice that the relationship feels one-sided, with the narcissist always taking but rarely giving.

Financial exploitation is also common in relationships with parasitic narcissists. They may consistently rely on you for financial support or manipulate you into paying for things. Additionally, you might observe that your self-esteem has decreased since being in the relationship, as parasitic narcissists often use subtle put-downs and criticism to maintain control.

How Do Parasitic Narcissists Emotionally Manipulate Their Victims?

Parasitic narcissists employ a range of emotional manipulation tactics to control and exploit their victims. According to Psychology Today, one common technique is projection, where the narcissist accuses others of behaviors or feelings they themselves possess. This can create confusion and self-doubt in the victim.

Another powerful tool in the parasitic narcissist’s arsenal is gaslighting. This involves denying or distorting reality to make the victim question their own perceptions and memories. The narcissist might say things like “That never happened” or “You’re too sensitive” to invalidate the victim’s experiences and feelings.

Emotional blackmail is also frequently used, with the narcissist threatening abandonment or punishment if their demands aren’t met. They may use guilt, fear, or obligation to manipulate their victims into compliance. Additionally, parasitic narcissists often employ a cycle of idealization and devaluation, alternating between excessive praise and harsh criticism to keep their victims off-balance and seeking approval.

What Is Narcissistic Supply And How Do Parasitic Narcissists Obtain It?

Narcissistic supply refers to the attention, admiration, and emotional energy that narcissists crave and depend on to maintain their inflated self-image. Psych Central explains that for parasitic narcissists, obtaining this supply is a constant and often desperate pursuit.

Parasitic narcissists may seek narcissistic supply through various means. They often cultivate a circle of admirers or enablers who provide constant praise and attention. In intimate relationships, they may demand excessive attention and become upset or manipulative when it’s not provided. They might also seek supply through social media, constantly posting for likes and comments.

Another way parasitic narcissists obtain supply is by creating drama or crises that put them at the center of attention. They may exaggerate their accomplishments or fabricate hardships to elicit sympathy and support from others. In professional settings, they might take credit for others’ work or constantly seek validation from superiors and colleagues.

How Does Being In A Relationship With A Parasitic Narcissist Affect Mental Health?

Being in a relationship with a parasitic narcissist can have severe and long-lasting effects on mental health. According to Medical News Today, victims often experience symptoms similar to those of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This can include anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and intrusive thoughts about the abuse.

The constant emotional manipulation and gaslighting can lead to a condition known as “narcissistic victim syndrome.” Symptoms may include chronic self-doubt, feelings of worthlessness, and difficulty trusting one’s own perceptions. Victims may also struggle with codependency, having learned to prioritize the narcissist’s needs over their own.

Long-term exposure to narcissistic abuse can also result in physical health problems due to chronic stress. This may manifest as sleep disturbances, digestive issues, and a weakened immune system. Additionally, the emotional drain of constantly catering to a parasitic narcissist’s needs can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion, impacting all areas of life.

What Are The Long-Term Effects Of Narcissistic Abuse From A Parasitic Narcissist?

The long-term effects of narcissistic abuse from a parasitic narcissist can be profound and far-reaching. Verywell Mind reports that survivors often struggle with complex PTSD, which can manifest as difficulty regulating emotions, maintaining relationships, and a persistent feeling of being damaged or worthless.

Many survivors experience a shattered sense of self, having lost touch with their own identities, needs, and desires after years of catering to the narcissist. This can lead to difficulties in decision-making and asserting boundaries in future relationships. Trust issues are also common, with survivors finding it challenging to form close connections due to fear of further exploitation.

Financial instability is another potential long-term effect, especially if the parasitic narcissist drained resources or sabotaged career opportunities. Some survivors may also grapple with addiction or other unhealthy coping mechanisms developed during the abusive relationship. Recovery from narcissistic abuse is possible but often requires professional help and a commitment to long-term healing.

How Can You Protect Yourself From A Parasitic Narcissist’s Manipulation Tactics?

Protecting yourself from a parasitic narcissist’s manipulation tactics requires awareness, strong boundaries, and self-care. Psychology Today suggests several strategies. First, educate yourself about narcissistic behaviors and manipulation tactics. This knowledge can help you recognize when you’re being manipulated.

Setting and maintaining firm boundaries is crucial. Be clear about what you will and won’t tolerate, and stick to these boundaries consistently. It’s also important to trust your own perceptions and feelings. Narcissists often try to gaslight their victims, so maintaining a strong sense of reality is key.

Limiting the narcissist’s access to your personal information and emotions can also help protect you. Practice emotional detachment and avoid sharing sensitive details that could be used against you. Building a support network of trusted friends, family, or a therapist can provide validation and perspective when you’re doubting yourself.

What Is Gaslighting And How Do Parasitic Narcissists Use It?

Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where the abuser attempts to sow seeds of doubt in the victim’s mind, making them question their own memory, perception, and sanity. Healthline explains that parasitic narcissists often use this tactic to maintain control and avoid accountability.

Parasitic narcissists might use gaslighting by denying events that occurred, trivializing the victim’s emotions, or shifting blame onto the victim. They may say things like “You’re too sensitive” or “That never happened” to make the victim doubt their own experiences. Over time, this can erode the victim’s self-confidence and make them more dependent on the narcissist’s version of reality.

Another way parasitic narcissists use gaslighting is by rewriting history. They might retell past events in a way that paints themselves in a positive light while making the victim seem unreasonable or forgetful. This constant manipulation of facts and feelings can leave victims feeling confused, anxious, and unable to trust their own judgment.

How Can You Recognize The Signs Of Narcissistic Victim Syndrome?

Narcissistic Victim Syndrome, while not an official clinical diagnosis, refers to a cluster of symptoms often experienced by those who have endured narcissistic abuse. According to Psych Central, common signs include chronic self-doubt, difficulty making decisions, and a persistent feeling of worthlessness.

Victims may experience heightened anxiety and hypervigilance, always on alert for potential threats or criticism. They might struggle with people-pleasing behaviors, having learned to prioritize others’ needs over their own. Difficulty setting and maintaining boundaries is another common sign, as victims often fear conflict or abandonment.

Many survivors of narcissistic abuse also report feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from their own feelings. They may have trouble identifying and expressing their emotions, a result of having their feelings consistently invalidated by the narcissist. Physical symptoms such as chronic fatigue, headaches, and digestive issues are also common due to the prolonged stress of the abusive relationship.

What Are Some Effective Coping Strategies For Dealing With A Parasitic Narcissist?

Dealing with a parasitic narcissist requires a combination of self-protection and self-care strategies. Very Well Mind recommends several effective coping methods. One crucial strategy is to set and maintain firm boundaries. Be clear about what behavior you will and won’t tolerate, and stick to these limits consistently.

Practicing emotional detachment can also be helpful. This involves not taking the narcissist’s actions personally and recognizing that their behavior is a reflection of their own issues, not your worth. Mindfulness techniques can aid in staying grounded in your own reality and not getting pulled into the narcissist’s drama.

Building a strong support network is essential. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or a therapist who can provide validation and perspective. Engaging in self-care activities that boost your self-esteem and well-being can help counteract the emotional drain of dealing with a parasitic narcissist.

How Does A Parasitic Narcissist Use Love Bombing To Manipulate Their Victims?

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic often employed by parasitic narcissists to quickly forge an emotional bond with their victims. Psychology Today describes love bombing as an overwhelming display of affection, attention, and adoration early in a relationship.

Parasitic narcissists use love bombing to create a sense of intensity and connection that can be intoxicating for the victim. They may shower their target with gifts, compliments, and declarations of love. This intense focus can make the victim feel special and valued, creating a strong emotional attachment.

However, the love bombing phase is typically short-lived. Once the parasitic narcissist feels they have secured the victim’s affection and trust, they often switch to devaluation tactics. This sudden shift can leave the victim confused and desperately trying to regain the narcissist’s approval, creating an unhealthy cycle of emotional highs and lows.

What Role Does Trauma Bonding Play In Relationships With Parasitic Narcissists?

Trauma bonding is a psychological response to abuse where the victim forms a strong emotional attachment to their abuser. Healthline explains that this phenomenon is common in relationships with parasitic narcissists due to the cycle of abuse and intermittent reinforcement.

Parasitic narcissists often alternate between periods of love bombing and devaluation, creating a rollercoaster of emotions for their victims. This inconsistent behavior can lead to trauma bonding, where the victim becomes addicted to the highs of the relationship and constantly seeks the narcissist’s approval.

The trauma bond can make it extremely difficult for victims to leave abusive relationships with parasitic narcissists. They may rationalize the narcissist’s behavior, minimize the abuse, or blame themselves. Breaking this bond often requires professional help and a deep understanding of the dynamics at play in narcissistic relationships.

How Can You Rebuild Self-Esteem After Narcissistic Abuse From A Parasitic Narcissist?

Rebuilding self-esteem after narcissistic abuse is a crucial part of the healing process. Psych Central suggests several strategies for this journey. One important step is to practice self-compassion. Recognize that the abuse was not your fault and treat yourself with the kindness you would show a good friend.

Challenging negative self-talk is another key aspect of rebuilding self-esteem. Identify and question the critical inner voice that may have been internalized from the narcissist’s abuse. Replace these negative thoughts with more balanced, realistic ones. Engaging in positive affirmations can help reinforce a more positive self-image.

Setting and achieving small goals can also boost self-esteem. Start with manageable tasks and gradually increase their complexity as you build confidence. Pursuing hobbies and interests that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment can help reconnect you with your authentic self and rebuild your sense of worth.

What Are The Challenges Of Co-Parenting With A Parasitic Narcissist?

Co-parenting with a parasitic narcissist presents unique and often daunting challenges. According to Psychology Today, one of the main difficulties is the narcissist’s inability to prioritize the child’s needs over their own. They may use the child as a pawn in their ongoing quest for control and narcissistic supply.

Communication can be extremely challenging, as parasitic narcissists often engage in manipulative tactics such as gaslighting or emotional blackmail. They may attempt to turn the child against the other parent or consistently undermine the other parent’s authority. Maintaining consistent rules and boundaries across both households can be nearly impossible due to the narcissist’s lack of cooperation.

Another significant challenge is protecting the child from the emotional manipulation and potential abuse of the narcissistic parent while still facilitating a relationship between them.

About the Author :

Som Dutt, Top writer in Philosophy & Psychology on Medium.com. I make people Think, Relate, Feel & Move. Let's Embrace Inner Chaos and Appreciate Deep, Novel & Heavy Thoughts.

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