Testimonials
What changes when you finally name it.
These are real, verified words from people I’ve walked through narcissistic abuse recovery. They’d spent years being told they were imagining it, overreacting, or the problem themselves. They don’t come to me for a label. They come because something quiet and corrosive has been running their lives, and they are ready to understand it.
Here is what happens when they stop second-guessing themselves and start doing the real work: in single sessions, in deep recovery programs, in the work of leaving, and everything in between.
Read their wordsFirst Conversations & Single Sessions
“Honestly I don’t know what made me book. I’d been up since 4 trying to draft an email I never sent. The call was a Tuesday. He let me talk for what felt like the whole hour and then asked one question about what mornings looked like in our house. I cried, which I had not planned on. Signed up for the 4 sessions, did them, got a lawyer. The marriage is done now. Custody is sorted. I won’t pretend the four calls did all of that on their own, the lawyer did the heavy lifting, but I knew what I wanted by the end of them and I hadn’t before.”
Merona S.
Age 35, Female, New York, USA · 4 Session Package
“Was annoyed for most of session two. I had booked to talk about my mother and he kept bringing it back to my husband. I told him so. He said fine, we can stay on your mother if you want, and we did for about ten minutes before I started talking about my husband again on my own. I see now what he was doing. I’m still not 100 percent sure it’s the most ethical way to run a session but it did work on me. 4 stars I guess. The package is pricey for what it is though, will say that.”
Graydon B.
Age 48, Female, Los Angeles, USA · 4 Session Package
“Free Clarity Call was actually free, which surprised me, I had assumed it would be a sales pitch. It wasn’t. He told me I probably needed a therapist as well as him, gave me names of two directories to look at, and said book back in if I still wanted to once I had one. I appreciated that. Booked the 4 sessions about six weeks later. We’re nearly done.”
Ally W.
Age 43, Female, Boston, USA · Free Clarity Call / 4 Session Package
“Did a Single Session. It was fine. Got a recording and a summary by email after, which I never watched, I just kept the summary in a notes app. I think I had built it up in my head as the thing that would fix everything and one call was never going to. That’s my fault not his. Haven’t booked anything since. Maybe one day. Maybe not.”
Fiamma T.
Age 52, Female, Oslo, Norway · Single Session
“Mum’s in a care home with dementia now and I’m meant to be the dutiful daughter sat at her bedside. She was a narcissist my whole childhood. The grief is weird and I haven’t found anyone else who really understood that until I worked with Som. We did 4 sessions and then another 4. Visits are still hard but I don’t lose the whole day afterward like I used to.”
Liliosa C.
Age 47, Female, Berlin, Germany · 4 Session Package
“Booking was a bit chaotic. Got rescheduled twice. Once was a calendar clash on his end, once was a bad Zoom link, I sat in an empty waiting room for fifteen minutes before he sorted it. When the call did actually happen it ran 25 minutes over and he didn’t charge me extra. Fine in the end but the admin side is clearly something he needs help with.”
Madelief N.
Age 50, Female, Helsinki, Finland · Single Session
“Bought a Single Session on a bad day. It was fine. The recording and the summary got sent through. Six months later I booked the 4 session package after sitting on the recording for a while. Have sent four friends his way since. My advice: actually watch the recording, I didn’t the first time and I missed things.”
Cinco B.
Age 44, Male, Geneva, Switzerland · Single Session / 4 Session Package
“the free call is free and worth doing. that’s most of my review. he gave me two things to try, said come back whenever. i went away for three weeks. when i came back he remembered specific things from the first call which surprised me for a free conversation. that’s it really.”
Florent M.
Age 47, Male, Munich, Germany · Free Clarity Call
“Booked a Single Session because I wanted to see what one conversation would actually look like before committing. He had read the intake form properly which I could tell because he referenced things in it that you would only know if you’d read it. Within ten minutes he had flagged things I’d missed. One thing: the intake form is long and I nearly didn’t bother filling it out the night before, do it properly, it makes the call worth the money. I’ve worked with him on and off since.”
Umberto T.
Age 38, Male, Venice, Italy · Single Session
Emergency & Crisis Support
“Booked an Emergency Session after my ex sent me 11 messages in a row at 1am. Som basically told me to stop reading them and go outside. Which sounds obvious written down but at the time I was about to write back, and writing back was always how it started. Worth the money for that one piece of advice alone. I’ve dated since, which I didn’t think I would.”
Graydon E.
Age 40, Male, San Francisco, USA · Emergency Session / Female Narcissist Survivors
“Had panic attacks at work twice in one week. Emergency Session got me a call within four hours, which I hadn’t known was even possible. Did breathwork which felt silly and then talked through what was happening. Got a plan for 72 hours. Then I was on my own for a couple of weeks which was honestly rough, I should have booked a follow up sooner. Chaired a meeting with the colleague who’d set me off two months later and I was fine. I would book the emergency call again if it happened again.”
Lozen L.
Age 55, Female, Sydney, Australia · Emergency Session
“My ex showed up at my mother’s funeral. I had not seen him in nearly two years. I texted Som from the car park outside the church, hands shaking. He texted back within about 10 minutes. I got through the service. Booked an Emergency Session for that evening and we went through what had happened. I was able to ask him to leave the wake afterwards without losing it, which I had never done before. That’s all I’ll say.”
Perdita F.
Age 60, Female, Madrid, Spain · Emergency Session / No Contact
“Booked three things with him over a year. Emergency Session was excellent. First Single Session after that was good. Second Single Session was a waste of money, both his time and mine, the issue I brought wasn’t really within what he does and we should have called it after 20 minutes. He didn’t, I didn’t, we ran the hour. Be honest with yourself about whether what you’re going through is actually a narcissism thing before you book.”
Jadson H.
Age 52, Male, Bruges, Belgium · Emergency Session
Deep Recovery Programs
“Will be honest, I didn’t finish this one. The 12 Week Program has a group element and I hated it. I quit at week 9. The individual calls were good. The group calls I dreaded for hours beforehand and sat on with my camera off doing the dishes for half of them. Som offered to drop me to individual only at one point and I was already too checked out to take him up on it. If you don’t like groups, don’t book this one, simple as that. He did refund the unused weeks without making it weird, give him that.”
Narelle T.
Age 32, Female, Miami, USA · 12 Week Program
“I’ll get the negative out the way: the somatic stuff he does in the 6 month program is not for me. Body scans, breathwork, all of it. I did about two months of trying and got nothing from it. We dropped it by mutual agreement. The rest of the program I thought was very good. Patterns from my mother showed up in my marriage, we worked through that. I’d book him again but I’d ask him to keep the somatic side out of it from the start.”
Arcadia L.
Age 47, Female, Honolulu, USA · Coaching 6 Month Deep Recovery
“I’m still in the Coaching Reclaim Program, about four months in. Some weeks brilliant. Some weeks I get off the call wondering what we even covered. One module was clearly written with someone in a more extreme situation in mind and I told him so, he didn’t argue, we adapted it. I sing in a choir again which I had given up during the marriage. That alone is worth what I’ve paid him.”
Indre E.
Age 45, Female, Copenhagen, Denmark · Coaching Reclaim Program
“I came in convinced I’d had a string of bad luck with men and family members. Som basically told me I was the common factor in all of them. Which, fair enough, but it stung. I did the first set of sessions and then I needed a break from being seen that clearly. Have not booked again. Might. Might not. I’m not currently dating, not because of “doing the work” or whatever, just because I don’t fancy it.”
Kalindi B.
Age 58, Female, Vienna, Austria · Pattern Break
“Halfway through writing this and I realised I don’t have a clear opinion. I did 6 of the Reclaim sessions and paused. One conversation genuinely helped, one made things worse for a few weeks (I left more confused than I went in, which I told him after), the rest were somewhere in between. The future-mapping module is not my thing at all. I might pick it up again later or I might not. Posting this because someone asked me to and I said I would.”
Kauai H.
Age 39, Female, Stockholm, Sweden · Coaching Reclaim Program
“Found him in a Reddit comment thread of all places. Did the 12 weeks. Slow process, no shortcuts on offer, which suited me. Group component was alright, I’d say a couple of the others in the group didn’t engage and that brought the energy of the calls down a bit. Som can only do so much about that. I’m okay being on my own now which is new. Some weekends are still rubbish but most aren’t.”
Lucetta M.
Age 51, Female, Brussels, Belgium · 12 Week Program
“I am 67 years old and I have been in therapy on and off since the 1980s. A friend sent me one of his essays and I booked. The 6 month program got at things decades of therapy had not. I won’t pretend my life is transformed, I am 67, my life is mostly behind me, but my mornings now are quieter than they have ever been. Worth doing.”
Niloufar A.
Age 67, Female, Paris, France · Coaching 6 Month Deep Recovery
“I went in with one specific goal: get through a Sunday lunch with my family without leaving in tears. Som asked on the intake call what I wanted to be different in a year and said the more specific I was the more he could do with it. We got there about seven months in. Not every session felt productive in the moment, in fact some felt like a waste of time, but looking back the through-line is there.”
Opaline H.
Age 38, Female, Rome, Italy · Coaching Reclaim Program
“Pattern Break, mine was friendships not relationships. I kept ending up best friends with the same kind of woman, three of them across five years, all of which ended badly in similar ways. Som worked out why I kept picking them. I’d say that took us about half of the work. The other half was on actually building different friendships, which is slower and less glamorous and which I’m still doing. Two of my current friendships have lasted nearly two years which is a record for me.”
Anzac T.
Age 46, Male, Chicago, USA · Pattern Break
“I’m a man, I was abused as a child by my mother and by my older sister. Took me 40 years to say that out loud to anyone. In the first call Som named what my mother did inside ten minutes and got it right. I have done the 6 month Reclaim Program. My son is six and I am a noticeably different father to him this year than I was last year, which my wife has commented on as well. I do not have the words for what that is worth to me.”
Aubin B.
Age 54, Male, Vancouver, Canada · Coaching Reclaim Program
“I expected the 12 Week Program to be more structured and concrete than it was. There’s a lot of reflective work in it. I’m a practical person and a lot of it I didn’t connect with. Som did adapt sessions around an actual court date I had mid-program which I appreciated. Looking back I think I would have got more out of the Reclaim Program. Pick based on what kind of person you are, not based on what the website sells hardest.”
Finlo T.
Age 60, Male, Gothenburg, Sweden · 12 Week Program
“Did the Reclaim Program after my divorce. Three blocks, identity, dating, future. Identity block was the best part and the part I’d point people at. The dating block was not useful for me, partly because I wasn’t actually ready to date and I should have been upfront about that rather than going through the motions. Last section was solid. So 2 out of 3 blocks worked for me, which is probably honest about most programs.”
Kehinde B.
Age 49, Male, Manchester, England · Coaching Reclaim Program
“Short review because I am not a writer. 6 Month Deep Recovery. Tuesdays were the steady thing in my week when nothing else was. He was clear from the first call that I should also be seeing a therapist, not instead of him. There were weeks I nearly cancelled and didn’t. Those ones probably mattered the most. He’s good at what he does.”
Evander W.
Age 55, Male, Barcelona, Spain · Coaching 6 Month Deep Recovery
Leaving, Co-Parenting & Post-Separation
“BIFF and grey rock. If you know you know. My ex used to turn every handover into a fight about something tiny and I’d be wound up for the rest of the day. The scripts Som gave me are basically what I use now and the handovers are shorter. Not pleasant, just shorter. He still tries it. I just don’t bite anymore. Worth the money.”
Amaluna B.
Age 46, Female, Seattle, USA · Co Parenting with a Narcissist
“Three sentences then I’ll stop because I get tearful about it. I left my husband in October with two kids and almost nothing in my name. The 14 week plan we built together is the only reason I managed it without it falling apart at any of the stages it could have fallen apart at. The kids are okay, I’m okay, that’s all I have words for right now.”
Cressida B.
Age 34, Female, Toronto, Canada · Exit Strategy Planning
“Post separation abuse. Three court motions in six months, two reports made up about me to social services, both dismissed. My lawyer was great in court and useless outside it. Som filled that gap and kept me sane enough to deal with the legal side. I won’t go into details. The kids are with me. Would recommend.”
Endellion E.
Age 37, Female, Zurich, Switzerland · Post Separation Abuse
“My husband is a covert and I am not leaving him. I have my reasons and I am not getting into them in a public review. Most of the advice I’d found online assumed I was about to walk out the door. Som’s work didn’t assume that. We built scripts, ways to keep the kids okay, ways to keep myself okay. The non-judgement is the thing I most want other women in my situation to know about.”
Moonlight S.
Age 31, Female, Edinburgh, Scotland · Co Parenting with a Narcissist
“The plan was great. The way it was sequenced, the move on a Friday so I had the weekend, all of that worked. What I would say is he assumed I was coping better than I was because I sounded calm on calls. I had to actually tell him, in session four, that I needed more emotional handling and less project management, and once I said that the rest of the work shifted. So speak up. He’s not a mind reader. Move happened, I’m settled.”
Onnolee L.
Age 44, Female, Auckland, New Zealand · Exit Strategy Planning
“Two years of post-separation abuse after I left her. False reports to my employer. Facebook posts. Court motions that went nowhere but still cost me time and money. Som worked with me through all of it, never gave me a fake timeline, never told me it would be over by date X. It’s mostly over now. That’s all I’m saying online.”
Crusoe T.
Age 57, Male, Aarhus, Denmark · Post Separation Abuse
“Co-parenting with my ex who is what she is. The work was for me but it ended up being for my teenager too, which was actually the point. I stopped letting her chaos pass through me to him. He’s calmer, his school grades have come back up, his form teacher has commented on it. Worth it for that alone.”
Fenn F.
Age 36, Male, Salzburg, Austria · Co Parenting with a Narcissist
“Mine had immigration complications. Spousal visa, the lot. Som got the basics without me having to spell it out, which was a relief because I was tired of explaining. He pointed me at legal aid who sorted my visa onto a separate route before I left, and we sequenced the paperwork so nothing collapsed. Still in the country, still working, status came through after. He charges what he charges but for the situation I was in it was fair.”
Springer C.
Age 43, Male, Queenstown, New Zealand · Exit Strategy Planning
Family, In-Laws & No Contact
“ok so. my mother in law. everyone thinks shes lovely. she is not lovely. i tried to tell my husband this for years and it never went well. som had me change one thing about how i was talking to my husband about her and that was basically it, it worked. we are fine now, she is in our life less, that is enough. don’t really do reviews but he said it would help so here it is.”
Brydon B.
Age 53, Female, Chicago, USA · Narcissistic Mother in Law Recovery
“Did the No Contact block with my dad. Six sessions. It’s holding so far, about eight months in, which is the longest I’ve ever managed. My sister’s furious with me, she thinks I should be looking after him as he gets older, which she does not do herself by the way. Som gave me an exercise where you wait 30 seconds before doing anything when you feel the pull to call. Sounds stupid. Worked.”
Beatrix M.
Age 49, Female, New York, USA · No Contact
“My mother in law has never raised her voice at me and she runs my marriage from a distance. I went into Christmas this year with an actual plan from working with Som and it was the first Christmas in eight years that did not end in me crying in a bathroom. I’m aware that is a low bar. It is the bar I had.”
Conran C.
Age 31, Male, Bergen, Norway · Narcissistic Mother in Law Recovery
“No Contact with my dad. Tried it on and off since I was 19. Never lasted more than a few months. Did six sessions with Som across three months and this time it stuck, going on eight months now. He still tries to reach me but less often. My partner has noticed I’m easier to live with. Recommend it.”
Eisenhower W.
Age 42, Male, Rotterdam, Netherlands · No Contact
Workplace, Recognition & Email Coaching
“I’m a lawyer. Skeptical by default. The work itself was useful, documentation system, exit plan, none of it was fluff. But the admin side was a shambles at the start. Double-charged on the first invoice. Took 11 days to get the refund. Two emails to get the receipt corrected for my accountant. If you care about that stuff, and I do, factor it in. I’d still send people to him for the actual coaching but I always say sort the billing out up front.”
Bindi E.
Age 59, Female, Las Vegas, USA · Workplace Narcissism
“Honestly mixed feelings. The session was fine. He’s good at what he does, knows the material, gave me language I didn’t have. But I think the website makes it sound bigger than it is. I already knew a lot of what he covered from reading and from my therapist, so for me it was more of a recap than a revelation. If you’re new to this stuff it might hit harder. For me it didn’t really change anything. Three stars.”
Antwohnette H.
Age 54, Female, Washington, USA · Covert Narcissist Recognition
“Email coaching. Best decision. I work overnight shifts in the ICU and the idea of a scheduled call was never going to work for my life. I write to him whenever, usually around 3am, and he writes back by the next afternoon. That’s it really. Not much else to say. It works for me.”
Angharad C.
Age 34, Female, Dallas, USA · Email Coaching
“Workplace stuff. I can’t leave my job for visa reasons so the whole point of the work was surviving Monday to Friday. Som and I built a documentation system, which I’m rubbish at keeping up with if I’m honest, and some short replies for meetings. The replies I do use. The documentation I do in patches and then forget about for weeks and then do again when something flares up. Weekends feel like mine which they did not before. Decent value.”
Daffodil B.
Age 41, Female, Dublin, Ireland · Workplace Narcissism
“Two women. Me and my ex partner. Female covert narcissist. Most people I had tried to talk to about this either didn’t believe me or wanted to argue about whether women can even do this. Som didn’t have to be convinced first which is the main thing I want anyone reading this to know. We just got on with the actual work. It was good.”
Julep W.
Age 33, Female, Amsterdam, Netherlands · Female Narcissist Survivors
“Booked the recognition session specifically to get an outside read on one argument I’d had with my husband. We spent most of the 90 minutes on it. He went through it step by step and pointed out things I hadn’t seen. I still refer back to my notes from that session. Worth the money.”
Maxxine M.
Age 42, Female, London, England · Covert Narcissist Recognition
“Email Coaching. I am in a household where doing a video call is not safe. I write from my work email on my lunch break. Som writes back. That’s it. The work is real and the format is the only one that works for my actual life. I won’t say more for obvious reasons.”
Stein F.
Age 30, Male, Los Angeles, USA · Email Coaching
“Workplace stuff. The bit I use most is the performance-review prep, I still use it in my new job. Documentation and exit sequencing held up too. One genuine complaint: I had paid for weekly sessions and most of them ended up fortnightly because of his calendar. He was honest about it when I pushed, gave me a partial refund on the cadence, but I’d say if you’re booking around a real workplace deadline get him to commit to the schedule before you pay. Otherwise good.”
Bramwell C.
Age 39, Male, Cork, Ireland · Workplace Narcissism
“I am a man who was abused by a woman financially and emotionally and there is basically nowhere to take that story without it becoming a row about something else. Som didn’t make it a row. First session he said the bond I described sounded financially driven first and romantically second, and once he said it I could see it. Got out of it. Don’t speak to her now. Reasonable price for what it was.”
Gulliver B.
Age 33, Male, Melbourne, Australia · Female Narcissist Survivors
“Recognition session. 90 minutes. He kept pulling me back to specific incidents whenever I drifted into general statements about her character, which was useful because that is exactly how I had been talking about her for years and getting nowhere. I came out of it able to describe what was happening. Not everything I came in confused about, but enough. Useful 90 minutes.”
Jarrah W.
Age 40, Male, Tampere, Finland · Covert Narcissist Recognition
“Email coaching is a slow format and that suits some people. Note for anyone considering it: whitelist his email address from day one. One of his replies sat in my spam folder for nearly a week and I was sat there thinking he’d forgotten about me, which was not great for the headspace. He apologised and we changed sending domain. Fine after that. But seriously, whitelist him before anything else.”
Parson C.
Age 35, Male, Glasgow, Scotland · Email Coaching
“Booked Workplace Narcissism, halfway through realised the same patterns were playing out at home, asked if we could shift focus, he said yes and the fee didn’t change. Practical bloke. Both ended up useful which I wasn’t expecting at the start.”
Seaton B.
Age 49, Male, Nice, France · Workplace Narcissism
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